Posts Tagged With: god

Where’s the Joy? Solo, but not Alone

Posted on August 20, 2026 by tricialathrop

August 19

I thought I was doing pretty good. I’m getting used to not having Norm around, not liking it, but getting used to it.

But the last few weeks, I’ve felt weird. That’s the only word to describe it. I’ve struggled with a lack of focus. I forgot to attend two classes this week. I missed having fun with my sister because I left too late, and she was time constrained. I’ve wasted hours on mindless games and media scrolling.

As I’ve struggled to figure out why I felt weird, I thought it might have to do with a busy month ahead or starting up a Bible study again, or possibly depression.

Yesterday, I went to the doctor for a checkup. As I prepared, I thought about all those questions they ask now that I’m older…and answering honestly would lead to a question of depression. All of a sudden, I received insight…

Two years ago at this time, I had a doctor’s appointment. I told her that my numbers would be off because I felt stressed, Norm was experiencing a lack of sleep and his body itched all over. She asked what tests had been ordered, none, his doctor wouldn’t see him while he was running a fever. I asked if she was taking new patients. She agreed to see him, and her intervention gave me a few extra months with Norm.

My subconscious and my emotions were responding to an anniversary of everything hitting the fan and changing the direction of my life forever. The uncertainty, the lack of focus, all subconscious responses before my brain caught up and understood. It reminds me of how the week before my period, I was short-tempered and emotional. I’d snap at Norm or one of the kids, and then all of a sudden, I’d realize what it was and calm down.

I’m hoping this is the same, now that I know the cause of the weird feeling, I can relax a bit. I’m under no illusions, the next 7 months will be difficult, perhaps more difficult than last year. The shock of Norm’s loss and the accompanying adrenaline is gone. Now, I’m aware. I can walk this path one day at a time, because God is with me and He will not leave me.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful that I don’t walk this path alone. I have friends who have walked this road before me. I have others who have not had the experience, but still encourage and walk with me.

I pray for wisdom, I need it for direction, for decisions, for interactions with others.

I rejoice that God is always faithful and knows what is coming.

Where’s the joy? Right now I’m content, and I’m good with that.

Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.” As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight. The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply; their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out or take their names on my lips. The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16

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Where’s the Joy? Solo, but not Alone

Posted on June 23, 2026 by tricialathrop

June 22

Yesterday was our wedding anniversary. The date doesn’t go away just because he’s no longer here with me. My daughter and sister came and went out to lunch with me. They helped to make it a pleasant day, and not a day filled with tears.

Last week I drove to Colorado. A friend had planned to join me, but a family situation caused her to stay behind. I think God planned it that way.

On the way out, I stopped to see friends we had known in Cincinnati. On the way back, I had lunch with a friend from college. Both were great visits…catching up, sharing what’s happening in our lives. I stayed a couple of days with Norm’s aunt and his one cousin…I don’t even know how many cousins I have…She says that she is the only cousin on both sides of the family.

They were great times of connection, my word for this year. I plan to be intentional about making connections, and renewing connections I’ve had in the past.

I went solo for most of the trip. I drove around the San Juan mountains, took the Million Dollar Highway, the Silver Thread Highway and a number of scenic roads. As I tried to find the Great American Basin, I found myself on roads better suited for ATV’s.

It didn’t take too long on the unpaved road for me to find a place to turn around, usually a series of y-turns at a passing spot on a very narrow road. When Norm and I went on these roads in the OHV (off highway vehicle), we saw a lot of Subaru Crosstreks. I knew my car could make it…not so sure of the ability of the driver on the rocks and tight turns. Being solo, I didn’t want to risk it.

I thought about taking the train from Durango to Silverton, a beautiful ride I did with a friend before Norm and I started dating. Going solo on the train didn’t bother me, it was the two hours in Silverton for lunch and shopping. Norm and I lunched and shopped in Silverton whenever we were in the area…I didn’t want to do it solo.

For several mornings, I arose, got some breakfast and got in the car for a drive through the mountains. I’d put on Sandy Patti, 2nd Chapter of Acts, Avalon, or Point of Grace and just drive. Beautiful scenery and the voices of praise to the Lord lifted my spirit…and brought out that I was upset with God.

God could have healed Norm completely, but chose to take him. It’s difficult to trust when the outcome is not what one wants. But I’m trying to practice what I have told others, when one is angry with God, might as well tell Him…He knows it already. When one admits the anger, then God will work to bring it back to trust, that He loves us and wants the best for us.

The anger at God was followed by being upset with myself. There were things I could have done differently, and there are words I regret not saying. I could spend days in regret, but I cannot change the past and I don’t think there was anything I could have done to keep Norm alive longer. What I can do, is be more intentional about the relationships with family and friends that are still here.

And then, I was upset with Norm…like he could have kept himself from getting cancer.

I’ve processed through these emotions before, and I’m under no illusion that this will be the last time. But in all this, I can still say, God is with me and God is faithful. He brings me back to hope every time.

Some of the roads I took, I had driven with Norm. Others were new to me. I realized that this is my life moving forward. Some adventures will be ones that Norm and I took in the past, filled with memories, good and bad. There will also be new adventures that I will experience on my own…good and bad. Whether solo, with friends, or with family, it will all be okay.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for my trip to Colorado. The time with family and friends, as well as the time solo encouraged my heart. I am blessed to have been able to do it.

I pray for the connections that will come my way as I walk solo, that I will be an encouragement, that I will challenge others to be more than they think they can be, and that I will be faithful to pray for their walk in this life.

I rejoice that we have hope, and that hope will not disappoint.

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.
For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God.
For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.
More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation. Romans 5:1-11

https://youtu.be/KZ3H3lg9NZM?si=coCtXCondni0IQPv

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk. Moving Forward

Posted on April 5, 2026 by tricialathrop

April 4

Actually this week I feel like I’ve taken a giant leap backwards. Lots of tears, deep sobs like last year. I don’t know what triggered it, but wow…it has knocked me for a loop. I was warned by other widows…there is no timeline to the grief. There will be days…weeks…It will get easier, but it will never go totally away.

While I prayed this morning, bemoaning my loneliness and isolation, God brought gratitude to my mind. I had focused on my feeling of isolation, but then I began to consider this week. Saturday and Sunday, I spent time with my daughter Aimee, her children, Sierra and Sawyer, and had lunch with my daughter Jennifer. Tuesday, Vickie and Edna came to help with my flower beds. I love having flowers in my beds…don’t like doing the work to make it happen. Tuesday afternoon I spent with Donna, finding out about her trip to Mexico, and discussing my plans to travel this year. Wednesday, I spent with some ladies studying the Word of God, and then lunch. Thursday, I had lunch with Barb…it lasted four hours. Thursday night, I attended the Maundy Thursday service, focusing on the sacrifices that Christ made for us. And yesterday, Caleb and his father came by.

Norm mentored Caleb in photography. When we thought Norm would be better and able to go hiking and do photography again, he spoke of Caleb and the places they could go where he could introduce new techniques to him. Caleb told me some stories of their adventures, and how much he had learned from Norm.

Norm encouraged. Norm challenged. Norm showed the love of God to the people around him…usually with a touch of humor.

Tomorrow is Easter. I had planned to attend a sunrise service at Eagle Rock, however, rain is expected and so they cancelled. Usually they would just move it indoors, but some construction issues make that impossible. So I’ll go to church at the regular time, and tomorrow afternoon go to my niece’s home for Easter dinner.

In my quiet time, I’m reading through Hebrews and today’s passage mentioned Christ, as the true high priest, taking his blood into the heavenly Holy of holies to give His blood so that our consciences can be cleansed from dead works to serve the living God.

Norm used to have an illustration he used to explain what Christ had done for us. We will all give an accounting of our lives. We have a sheet of credit and debit for what we have done and said in our lives. We think our good will outweigh the bad we’ve done, and we might get into heaven by the skin of our teeth. But in reality, we have all sinned and come short of what God requires of us.

The payment for the wrong things we have said, done or thought is eternal separation from God. So one day, we will all stand before the judgment seat of God, and while He does not desire that any perish, the sin is there and the debt must be paid.

Back to the accounting sheet, Satan is the accuser and when we stand before God, he will be bringing up every infraction, and while God is a loving Father, he is also a righteous judge.

When we recognize that we are unable to keep God’s way perfectly, and we acknowledge that Jesus paid the price for us, then our credit/debit sheet is swapped with Jesus’. He died on the cross, shedding his blood to pay the penalty of death, and we receive his righteousness to our credit. Because of the actions of Christ, we receive eternal life with God. That is our hope, and that is the joy of Easter. Death could not hold Jesus. His sacrifice on the cross opened the door for us to be in the presence of the Lord forever. His resurrection proved that death has no more hold on us.

I am thankful for many things today. For God’s faithfulness as I walk this road. For Norm’s influence on my life. For friends and family who continue to be there for me. For Jesus who died and rose again.

I pray for grace to be encouraging and also challenging to those around me.

I rejoice in Jesus Christ, his death and resurrection that gives me hope.

Where’s the joy? It’s found in the hope that we have in Christ.

But when Christ appeared as a high priest of the good things that have come, then through the greater and more perfect tent (not made with hands, that is, not of this creation) he entered once for all into the holy places, not by means of the blood of goats and calves but by means of his own blood, thus securing an eternal redemption.
For if the blood of goats and bulls, and the sprinkling of defiled persons with the ashes of a heifer, sanctify for the purification of the flesh, how much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without blemish to God, purify our conscience from dead works to serve the living God. 15 Therefore he is the mediator of a new covenant, so that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance, since a death has occurred that redeems them from the transgressions committed under the first covenant.
For where a will is involved, the death of the one who made it must be established. For a will takes effect only at death, since it is not in force as long as the one who made it is alive.
Therefore not even the first covenant was inaugurated without blood. For when every commandment of the law had been declared by Moses to all the people, he took the blood of calves and goats, with water and scarlet wool and hyssop, and sprinkled both the book itself and all the people, saying, “This is the blood of the covenant that God commanded for you.”
And in the same way he sprinkled with the blood both the tent and all the vessels used in worship.
Indeed, under the law almost everything is purified with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins. Thus it was necessary for the copies of the heavenly things to be purified with these rites, but the heavenly things themselves with better sacrifices than these.
For Christ has entered, not into holy places made with hands, which are copies of the true things, but into heaven itself, now to appear in the presence of God on our behalf.
Nor was it to offer himself repeatedly, as the high priest enters the holy places every year with blood not his own, for then he would have had to suffer repeatedly since the foundation of the world. But as it is, he has appeared once for all at the end of the ages to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself.
And just as it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment, so Christ, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time, not to deal with sin but to save those who are eagerly waiting for him. Hebrews 9:11-28

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk… Moving Forward

Posted on March 12, 2026 by tricialathrop

March 11

It’s been a full year since Norm passed away. Wise advice says to wait at least a year before making any major life changing choices like moving, changing jobs…things like that.

Thank you to all of you who have been praying and providing encouragement and support over this last year. I know that it helped me to persevere and not give in to depression or despair. It’s been the toughest thing I have ever experienced, but God has been faithful.

I took a cruise so that I wouldn’t be home for the anniversary of Norm’s passing. On that day, I took an excursion to Cathedral Caves on Eleuthera in the Bahamas. It’s a place where Norm would have wanted to spend a good deal of time, taking photos, playing with the lights and shadows, creating a photo to draw one’s eyes to the Creator of all things.

That night, my daughter Jennifer, and two of my sisters and I played a game on the ship called Majority Minds. It doesn’t matter if your answer is right or wrong, it just matters how well you match the other players. I’m actually pretty good at the game, we got all the answers. They told us to come up and get our reward…Disney cruise gives plastic medals…we got Goofy, Norm’s favorite character. We all had a “whoa” moment.

The next day, I stood on the deck watching the sun peek through the clouds, the rays spreading across the water. I realized that I don’t have to focus on the sorrow or the pain. Norm is free from all pain and sorrow, he is in the best of all places. I miss him, but I wouldn’t want him to come back to the pain. I can focus on the joyful memories. Not that I won’t still cry, today was a weepy day…but the memories are good.

I’m not making any major changes right now, but I am moving forward. I’m not sure what the future looks like without Norm, but God does. I can trust Him to lead me.

I am thankful for the memories of Norm and our time together.

I pray for wisdom as I continue my life on this earth, that I will be an encouragement to others.

I rejoice that God sent Jesus Christ to this earth to reveal the depth of His love for us.

Moving forward: What have I put off that needs to be done? What needs to be set aside? How can I minister to the people in my sphere of influence? Where do I need to focus?

He who observes the wind will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap. As you do not know the way the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything. In the morning sow your seed, and at evening withhold not your hand, for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether both alike will be good.

Ecclesiastes 11:4-6

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on February 28, 2026 by tricialathrop

February 27

In August, 2024, while Norm experienced whole body itching, we didn’t know what was happening, Norm had a sense that he would die before April. When he said that, I denied it, not wanting to give voice to a death sentence. And I attributed it more to his tendency to be a hypochondriac…I was wrong.

During Covid, Norm began woodworking. He started with toys and puzzles for the grandkids, and moved on to creating furniture for me and the grands, including a climbing wall. As always, he learned quickly and became an excellent woodworker. Every room holds something he made.

Sensing he had limited time, he began to make a bed for our grandson Sawyer. More elaborate than the one he made for Sierra. This one would have three tiers, it looked cool. But he could only work for a short amount of time, and then would have to sit and rest. He wanted so much to get it done, but the cancer took over and he had no energy to complete what he’d begun. He stopped trying in October. In January, when he had hope of survival, he tried again, but it took energy he did not have.

In his final week, he asked our son Robert to finish the bed.

It’s been almost a year and the unfinished bed sits in our garage. Monday, Robert came and is working on the bed. This past year he’s been watching woodworking videos and studying how to complete it. He wants to honor Norm in this, and while it won’t be as elaborate as Norm had planned, it will be something for Sawyer to know how much his Poppop loved him.

I am so proud of Robert and the effort he is making, plus I’m enjoying his company this week. We went to play Scooby Doo Mini Golf in Pigeon Forge…it’s something Norm and I would have done, multiple times. Scooby Doo and mini golf, twice the fun.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for my children who have grown into wonderful caring adults. I can see Norm’s influence in who they have become.

I pray for their future, that they will seek the Lord all the days of their lives.

I rejoice that God gave me a good man to be my husband, and a wonderful father to our children.

Where’s the joy? It’s in the people that God has placed in my life.


If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away.
When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.
But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on February 18, 2026 by tricialathrop

February 17

Norm and I traveled to Alaska to celebrate our 40th anniversary…2 years late because Covid limited all travel on the actual date. We still had to do Covid testing to go, and retest before we joined the cruise.

We started the trip with a land tour to Denali. We looked forward to seeing the mountain. We were disappointed. The clouds covered it for the entire time. I even stood on the observation deck and sang to the mountain, “Show yourself…” from Frozen 2. It seemed appropriate at the time.

The clouds still covered the mountain as we boarded the bus to leave.

20 miles down the road, the bus driver pulled over to the side of the road. He told us all to get out and to look behind us. The clouds had parted, and Denali beamed in the sunlight. We got to see it, even if from a distance.

If you’ve been reading my blog, you know that the last month has been tough for me.

Yesterday, it felt as if the great weight had lifted and that feeling has continued today. I’m able to focus. There’s a spring in my step. I smiled more than I cried today.

It’s nothing I’ve done, just the grace of God being poured out on me, giving me a reprieve from the heaviness of grieving.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the reprieve of the last two days. The memories are good.

I pray for wisdom as I face each day, to speak and act in such a way that brings God glory.

I rejoice in God’s faithfulness to me, even when I don’t see His hand at work in my life.

Where’s the joy? It’s in God’s provision day by day.

Praise the Lord!
Praise God in His sanctuary;
Praise Him in His mighty expanse.
Praise Him for His mighty deeds;
Praise Him according to His excellent greatness.
Praise Him with trumpet sound;
Praise Him with harp and lyre.
Praise Him with timbrel and dancing;
Praise Him with stringed instruments and pipe.
Praise Him with loud cymbals;
Praise Him with resounding cymbals.
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord!

Psalm 150

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on December 3, 2025 by tricialathrop

December 2

Last year at this time, I began this post to deal with Norm’s cancer, hoping to focus on the positive and the joy of the season during a time of trial. It has been and continues to be therapeutic for me. I can share things here that I don’t share in person.

Today, I pondered why I am more open on this site than in person. I discovered it is because I can cry freely while I write. Then I wondered why I don’t cry with people…oh tears come and they fall, but I don’t allow myself to sob and weep.

I realized that I don’t cry because as a child, I cried a lot. Siblings and acquaintances called me “Cry Baby”. I learned to control the tears. They might well up in my eyes, but I would not let them fall. Norm’s death opened those gates, I still don’t allow the sobbing, but the tears will sometimes fall unbidden in the presence of others.

What am I going to do with this insight into my responses? Don’t know.

Tomorrow is my birthday, my first without Norm. He was always really good about doing something special with me. Whether a show or visiting a special site, he was good at coming up with something I’d enjoy. But, he’s not here.

I will be busy tomorrow, a brunch with my Bible study ladies, taking a friend to her doctor, and to end the day, a steak dinner with my sister and nieces and nephews which will be fun. When I’m not out doing, I’ll be putting out my Christmas decorations.

My birthday is usually the day I begin to think about goals for the next year and finding a Bible verse to focus on. One year the verse was to give thanks in everything…I felt like I fell short. Then the next year, it was “Rejoice always”… it was a tough year. My son Robert had a heart ablation, and later was diagnosed with Addison’s disease, Norm and I had some issues which needed work, and my best friend and I had a falling out…rejoicing didn’t happen much that year, but focusing on the call to rejoice allowed me to focus on giving thanks.

2025 began with a struggle to get Norm through chemo therapy and then healing, and after his death it became a matter of just living day to day without him in my life. I’ve seen the faithfulness of God throughout Norm’s cancer fight and my widowhood. Not anything we would have chosen, but God never promised a freedom from suffering, He promises to walk through it with us, bringing the encouragement we need to live each day. And with His presence, in the midst of all of this, God has given me moments of joy that cannot be explained.

I will lift up my eyes to the mountains
From where shall my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.
He will not allow your foot to slip;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel
Will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade on your right hand.
The sun will not smite you by day,
Nor the moon by night.
The Lord will protect you from all evil;
He will keep your soul.
The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in
From this time forth and forever.

Psalm 121:1–8

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the reminder each Christmas of the coming of Jesus Christ, who came because God loved us and wants us to live in harmony with Him and with one another.

I pray for wisdom and courage to speak and act in order to bless the people around me.

I rejoice in the God of my salvation who always gives me hope.

Where’s the joy? It is found only in God who is my helper, my protector, and the keeper of my soul.

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on October 31, 2025 by tricialathrop

October 31

This time last year, we were in the hospital waiting to hear what treatment plans they had for Norm…but that’s not what I’m going to talk about today.

Last Sunday my son got married to the love of his life. I’m thrilled with his choice, they accept one another and yet find a way to encourage each other to be the best they can be. So sweet.

The week leading up to the wedding I cried a lot, not because they were getting married, but because Norm would not be there. He approved of Mai from the moment he met her, seeing the good she did for Robert. He would have rejoiced with them, giving his blessing on their marriage.

I was concerned that I would just break into sobs at the wedding. Every time I listened to the dance I was to do with Rob, I wept big tears. I had a lot of people praying that I would keep it together. A few tears, yes, sobbing…that would draw attention away from the celebration.

Rehearsal and wedding day, the Lord allowed the joy of the celebration to overtake the sorrow of Norm not attending. He was acknowledged throughout the day…tears, not sobs. Rob and I danced, laughing because we really didn’t practice much. We enjoyed the time.

My daughters struggled with the father/daughter dance, Aimee remembering her wedding day dance with Norm, Jennifer in sorrow that she would never have the chance to dance with him at her wedding.

Norm would have enjoyed it all. He would have laughed and told stories of Rob as a child, as only he could tell them. He would have danced with Aimee and Jennifer. He would have danced with Sierra and Sawyer with joyful abandon.

I’m sure he watched from heaven, loving the joy of the day.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful that Robert found Mai, the love of his life.

I pray for them, that they will enjoy one another through the days to come, the good and the bad.

I rejoice that God continues to pave the way for me to walk this walk, going ahead of me to smooth away rough spots, and walking with me in the times when the rough spots remain.

Where’s the joy? Our love for one another continues in our children and grandchildren and we are able to rejoice in the celebrations of life. We are blessed with the choices our children have made in their partners.

This was the Psalm I read this morning. I need to remember that God has this, that He will continue to help me through…just like He did for the wedding.

Hear my cry, O God; Give heed to my prayer.

From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

For You have been a refuge for me, a tower of strength against the enemy.

let me dwell in Your tent forever; Let me take refuge in the shelter of Your wings.

For You have heard my vows, O God; You have given me the inheritance of those who fear Your name.

You will prolong the king’s life; His years will be as many generations.

He will abide before God forever; Appoint lovingkindness and truth that they may preserve him.

So I will sing praise to Your name forever, That I may pay my vows day by day.

Psalm 61

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on October 11, 2025 by tricialathrop

October 10

I’ve struggled this whole week with feeling overwhelmed. It reached a point of paralysis, where I didn’t have the mindset or the energy to do anything. I’ve got a lot on my plate, and I found myself unable to move forward.

This morning during my quiet time with the Lord, I wrote in my journal that I was edgy and not at peace. I needed hope. I read Psalm 70 in which David wrote, “I am afflicted and needy.”

The middle of the Psalm deals with David praying against the enemies that humiliated and shamed him. I thought, I don’t have enemies other than my own pride and procrastination, but those very things hold me back, causing shame when I think I’ve failed, and keep me from moving forward.

But the rest of the Psalm, the request for help from God, knowing that God is my help and my deliverer, ended with the plea, “Do not delay.”

I listened to a book last week, “The Power of Writing It Down” by Allison Fallon. So I decided to write down what had me stressed. I found that by writing it out, it wasn’t quite as overwhelming as I had thought. While it’s a lot, it’s manageable.

So once again, the Lord gave me what I needed before I knew the need.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful that God remains faithful to me and always provides what I need.

I pray for a heart to glorify God in all that I say and do.

I rejoice that He is my salvation, my fortress and my deliverer.

Where’s the joy? It’s in knowing that God is always there, even when I’m stressed and feeling sorry for myself.

O God, hasten to deliver me; O Lord, hasten to my help.

Let those be ashamed and humiliated who seek my life; Let those be turned back and dishonored who delight in my hurt.

Let those be turned back because of their shame, who say “Aha, aha!”

Let all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You; And let those who love Your salvation say continually, “Let God be magnified.”

But I am afflicted and needy; hasten to me O God!

You are my help and my deliverer; O Lord, do not delay.

Psalm 70

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on September 22, 2025 by tricialathrop

September 21

This time last year, Norm was itching and in pain, hardly sleeping. It took until late October to get a diagnosis, but in the meantime, we tried to figure out what was going on. Nothing we tried worked and each test meant a ten day wait for a result, which led to another test, then another, and another…it seemed endless.

Now, I’m trying to move on, not sit in the house with the curtains closed, watching endless TV and crying.

I went square dancing in Knoxville on Market Square. Norm and I went with my sister for the last few years. It’s always fun, and one doesn’t need a partner because there are a number of singles who just like to dance. Part of the evening are two waltzes. Norm would dance with me because I love to dance. He struggled with anything that involved rhythm…in second grade his teacher took away his rhythm sticks and it caused him to be hesitant to dance or even clap to music. But, he would dance with me.

They ended the night with The Tennessee Waltz, and as I watched the dancers, I cried. Norm and I went to Mighty Musical Mondays at the Tennessee Theater and the mighty Wurlitzer organ, Dave, the organist, always closed the show with the Tennessee Waltz. Norm was amazed that I knew the words and would sing along. When we danced on the square, I would sing it. But this time, the words, “my friend stole my sweetheart from me” hit home. It wasn’t a friend, but it was in the Lord’s plan to take Norm home to walk in the garden with Him.

This morning I considered staying home but went to church anyway. The first song we sang in worship was in 3/4 time, a waltz. The Lord reached out to let me know that He has me covered. He will walk with me through this time of adjustment and be with me until He takes me home to walk in the garden with Him alongside Norm.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for God’s faithfulness to remind me that He knows all that I’m going through and He has a plan.

I pray for the wisdom to walk each day, noticing the people around me who may need encouragement just to make it through the day.

I rejoice that God not only has His eye on me, He rejoices over me with singing.

Where’s the joy? It’s all around, I just need to open my eyes to see it.

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the hearts of the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and freedom to prisoners; to proclaim the favorable year of the Lord and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn, to grant to those who mourn in Zion, giving them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of the spirit of fainting. So they will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified. Isaiah 61:1-3.

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