March 2
Yesterday I looked through pictures from the past year. Several trips with family, a wedding in Florida, a trip to see friends in NY, all a distraction to the pain of facing special days…spreading ashes at Rocky Knob along the Blue Ridge Parkway, the funeral and the pictures of Norm throughout his life. And then I came to a picture of him in the hospital. I had forgotten how gaunt and frail he became, just a shadow of the adventuring, laughing, always a story to tell man who lived his life to the fullest.
I remember how we first met. I went with a friend to a single’s event at her church. The group ended up at Norm’s place for games and dessert. He jumped over the arm of his sofa into the seat. Then I noticed a game spread out over a table, The War of 1812…a lot of pieces and a huge map. I asked, “How fun is it to play a game where you know who wins?” He began a long response…tactics…specific benchmarks…I didn’t get it, and just considered him a nerd. He knew I didn’t get it and thought, “Dumb blonde.”
Later, as I continued to go on outings with this group, we were all eating out after an event and Norm and I got into an argument about the working and gifts of the Holy Spirit. Calvinists and Charismatics have differing opinions on that person of the Trinity. I guess it got pretty heated because someone stepped in to stop it.
Even with our differences, our attitude towards each other changed and we began to date, kind of like a Hallmark movie. Norm was a godly man, who loved the Lord with all his heart and tried to live a life that honored Him.
While at church one Sunday, the pastor spoke about the problems with the Calvinist and the Charismatic, how they were walking in the ruts on opposite sides of the main road of Biblical truth. When walking out of the church, the Associate Pastor asked how we were doing and we said, “Oh, we’re just walking along in our ruts holding hands over the road of Biblical truth found in Jesus.”
In his final week, Norm apologized for not being able to be my Hallmark Hero. He just could not fight the pain and the suffering from cancer anymore. He was tired and wanted to go walk in the garden with the Lord. I assured him that he had always been my Hallmark Hero, and that he didn’t have to fight anymore.
This week it will be a year since he passed. It seems forever ago and yet just yesterday. The memories are good, and I focus on the pictures with the smiles and the laughter. I’m glad he’s free from the pain and suffering that marked his last six months. I’m glad for the 44 years we held hands as we walked through this life.
Where’s the joy?
I am thankful for the memories, good and bad.
I pray for strength as I continue this walk on earth without him.
I rejoice in the Lord God who made heaven and earth and sent Jesus Christ to walk this earth, suffer on the cross, to be resurrected so that we have the hope of eternal life. I know that Norm is with Him now.
Where’s the joy? God gave me a man who loved me.
O Lord, who may abide in Your tent?
Who may dwell on Your holy hill?
He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness,
And speaks truth in his heart.
He does not slander with his tongue,
Nor does evil to his neighbor,
Nor takes up a reproach against his friend;
In whose eyes a reprobate is despised,
But who honors those who fear the Lord;
He swears to his own hurt and does not change;
He does not put out his money at interest,
Nor does he take a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things will never be shaken.
Psalm 15