Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on January 12, 2026 by tricialathrop

January 12

When Norm used to take his trips, he sometimes lost touch with me, not all National Parks have good cell coverage or wifi access. When it got too long, I began to wonder, “What will I do if he died?” And I would go through some thoughts as to the process of locating his body, getting it home, etc and try to process what life might look like.

I was clueless! What I didn’t realize is the day after day dealing with the loss. He’s not here to talk to, to share with, to hold hands, hug, kiss…

Tonight I went to dinner with my sisters and their significant others. They are happy in their relationships and I don’t begrudge them that, but I’m having to learn to be with them, without Norm. Sometimes are easier than others, but being single in a world of couples has its challenges. It reminds me of what I no longer have.

Last week I spent time with Sierra and Sawyer. As I watch them play, create, and ask their questions, sorrow comes over me. Norm enjoyed their developing minds and interacted with them in a way I can’t. I’m sure he watches from heaven and prays for them, but he’s not here.

I’m doing things to distract myself so I don’t wallow in self pity. We all grieve in our own ways and time. I’ve heard from some that the second year was harder than the first, time will tell.

Moving forward, I need to take some time to see and hear what God has for me to say and do. What should be my focus? Where do I need to spend energy and is there anything I need to let go of?

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for family and friends who continue to include me in events and outings. They are helping me to navigate this new path.

I pray for wisdom and courage as I move forward. I’m not sure how it will look, but God knows.

I rejoice in the faithfulness that is God. His love for us is far better than we can imagine, for His love is perfect, seeks our good, and desires to walk with us daily.

Where’s the joy? It’s all around me, for God is faithful.


Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us.

1 John 4:7-12

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on January 5, 2026 by tricialathrop

January 5

What a whirlwind! My daughter is sick, possibly mono, and I’m helping with the grands, ages 8 and 4, fun ages. For the most part they are really good, but they are kids, creative, busy and sometimes overwhelming. I miss Norm especially at these times because he could match their energy and creative leaps. My mom used to say Norm was the biggest kid of all when he took all the nieces and nephews to the movies over the holidays.

Aimee is going through testing, and waiting for results. It takes me back to Norm’s struggle as he got tested, waited for results, only to find out he needed more testing…

It’s another reminder…so much we cannot control, but God is in total control. He has a plan. My job, pray for Aimee, for healing, for wisdom for the doctors, for Aimee and Steve to have peace in the situation, whatever the result.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful that I have the time and strength to help with the grandkids. It gives me extra time with them.

I pray for Aimee and Steve as they walk an unknown path back to health.

I rejoice that God continues to have all things under his control. Though He does not promise to keep us out of all painful situations, He does promise to be with us through all of it.

Though the fig tree should not blossom
And there be no fruit on the vines,
Though the yield of the olive should fail
And the fields produce no food,
Though the flock should be cut off from the fold
And there be no cattle in the stalls,
Yet I will exult in the Lord,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
The Lord God is my strength,
And He has made my feet like hinds’ feet,
And makes me walk on my high places.

Habakkuk 3:17-19

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on December 30, 2025 by tricialathrop

December 29

Another first gone by. Three to go…New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day and the anniversary of Norm’s death.

My Christmas had the expected times of joy with my children and grandchildren, expected times of sorrow and missing Norm. What I did not expect? Moments of absolute emptiness. I felt like the Tin Man, seeing and hearing what happened around me, and yet no emotion attached. Weird.

I’m not sure what to make of that, just thought I’d share it.

I met another widow today, she’s in her second year. This is not for the faint-hearted. It’s not a road anyone would choose. And yet, so many are facing the holidays this year missing a loved one…a parent, a child, a friend, a husband, a wife, a partner, a pet…each one dealing with it the best they can. Remember to lift the ones you know in prayer.

In the olden days, widows wore black for a year, and had restrictions on what was acceptable to do during the year of grieving. We don’t do that anymore. There’s no set time table, no rules of socially acceptable activities, no end date…

Christmas was a blur this year. In three days it will be 2026. I’m starting to consider, now what? One time a mentor told me to “Consider your calling” as I was making a decision for my future.

What am I going to do? Where am I going to serve? What expectations do I have for myself? What expectations from others do I need to consider? What expectations do I need to lay aside?

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

Where’s the joy? We can be sorrowful and yet have joy at the same time, amazing how God’s grace surrounds us.

I am thankful for divine appointments, God brings people into our lives who encourage us where we are. Meeting Christa at the Subaru car place today, was one such connection.

I pray for all those who are missing someone special over this holiday, that God will give them grace to have joy in spite of the grief.

I rejoice in the faithfulness of the Lord, who lifts us up when we are down and gives us hope for the future.

Where’s the joy? Everyday, God is faithful. Everyday, God provides.

O Lord, who may abide in Your tent?
Who may dwell on Your holy hill?
He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness,
And speaks truth in his heart.
He does not slander with his tongue,
Nor does evil to his neighbor,
Nor takes up a reproach against his friend;
In whose eyes a reprobate is despised,
But who honors those who fear the Lord;
He swears to his own hurt and does not change;
He does not put out his money at interest,
Nor does he take a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things will never be shaken.

Psalm 15

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on December 21, 2025 by tricialathrop

December 20

This week has been a mixed bag of emotions. Good memories and sorrow as I go to events Norm and I used to attend together. The people around me are very aware that this is a difficult season, the first Christmas without Norm.

I’ll be with my kids and my grandchildren this week. I’m sure there will be fun times and probably some tears. And we will be together.

I am thankful for the people around me who surround me with encouragement and support.

I pray for the joy of Christmas to outweigh the grief.

I rejoice that Jesus Christ loved us enough to come to earth and live life as a human, so He can identify with us in our sorrow and grief.

Where’s the joy? It’s in the gift of God’s son.

O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly;
My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You,
In a dry and weary land where there is no water.
Thus I have seen You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory.
Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips will praise You.
So I will bless You as long as I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
My soul is satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth offers praises with joyful lips.
When I remember You on my bed,
I meditate on You in the night watches,
For You have been my help,
And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy.
My soul clings to You;
Your right hand upholds me.

Psalm 63:1-8

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on December 11, 2025 by tricialathrop

December 11

I dreamt about Norm last night. Some people have dreams of their departed loved ones where they have a wonderful heart to heart or assurances…good things. But in my dreams he’s either sick, angry or very disappointed in me…last night he was disappointed in some decisions I made.

The dream may have come as a result of a conversation I had. Yesterday a friend, who is also a widow, and I discussed the deaths of our husbands. There are times I ponder if I could have done something different to change the outcome…not uncommon with the death of a loved one.

Both of our husbands had a similar statement as they suffered through the treatment and the pain of cancer. Each commented, “Through this experience, I know now that I am loved. I know God loves me. I know my wife loves me. I know my children love me.” Not the exact words, but you get the gist.

My thoughts upon hearing him say that, “Did he not know how much I loved him?”

Was the dream a result of my own insecurities? Was it representative of his personality change due to the cancer? Was it a result of guilt that I could have done something differently?

I don’t know the why of the dream. Our minds process life in a variety of ways, and I believe it can be through dreams. This dream was more disturbing than helpful. I’ve cried a lot today.

When days like this happen, it causes me to go back to trust. Do I believe that God is in ultimate control? Do I believe that God has a time for each of us and when we our work is done here, He takes us home to be with Him? Do I believe it was Norm’s time to go and I could not change the outcome no matter what I did? Do I believe God has something good planned for the rest of my life?

“For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

When people use this verse to speak about the blessings of God, I usually remind them that God said this just before the people of Israel went into exile in Babylon for 70 years. God doesn’t give us freedom from pain and trouble, He provides hope in the middle of the pain and trouble. Pain and sorrow come to all of us, God remains faithful through it all.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for God’s comfort in the midst of my sorrow.

I pray for wisdom as I speak with others about the hope that is found in Christ.

I rejoice in the coming of Jesus Christ, who opens the door for all of us to have a loving relationship with the God of the universe.

Where’s the joy? It’s found in the hope that God provides every day.

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on December 6, 2025 by tricialathrop

December 6

I’ve been trying to put up Christmas decorations. It’s more difficult than I thought. Lots of memories with ornaments from all our travels, nativities he has made or we bought on our travels or at the various craft fairs we’ve attended.

I attended the Christmas Carol the other day. My daughter Jenn and my sister Deb went with me. It’s a tradition that Norm and I began in New York at Proctor’s in Schenectady. When we moved to Tennessee, our first year we discovered a yearly production at Clarance Brown Theater. It’s not the first I’ve attended this program without him, last year, he was in the hospital so some family members joined me. But I expected he’d be able to join me this year.

This weekend I’ll be going to Biltmore for their Christmas display…another tradition with Norm. We would often go to Newport, RI for Christmas at the mansions there. I’ll have family with me, but it will be bitter sweet.

There are more events coming up for the season, one’s that I’ve shared with Norm or that he’s encouraged me to do. I’m walking one step at a time and entering each day as it comes. God is faithful!

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for these events that allow me to focus on the joy of the season, and remember some joyful times that Norm and I shared.

I pray for my friends who like me, are facing this season after the loss of a loved one. We can rest in the hope that Jesus Christ brought with his birth, they are rejoicing in heaven with the Lord.

I rejoice in the hope that came with the coming of the Messiah, and the promise that He will always be with us.

Where’s the joy? Joy to the World, the Lord has come.

Jesus’ Birth in Bethlehem
Now in those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus, that a census be taken of all the inhabited earth. This was the first census taken while Quirinius was governor of Syria.
And everyone was on his way to register for the census, each to his own city.
Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, in order to register along with Mary, who was engaged to him, and was with child.
While they were there, the days were completed for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son; and she wrapped Him in cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
In the same region there were some shepherds staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened.
But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.
“This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”
And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased.”
When the angels had gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds began saying to one another, “Let us go straight to Bethlehem then, and see this thing that has happened which the Lord has made known to us.”
So they came in a hurry and found their way to Mary and Joseph, and the baby as He lay in the manger.
When they had seen this, they made known the statement which had been told them about this Child. And all who heard it wondered at the things which were told them by the shepherds.
But Mary treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart.
The shepherds went back, glorifying and praising God for all that they had heard and seen, just as had been told them.

Luke 2:1–20

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on December 3, 2025 by tricialathrop

December 2

Last year at this time, I began this post to deal with Norm’s cancer, hoping to focus on the positive and the joy of the season during a time of trial. It has been and continues to be therapeutic for me. I can share things here that I don’t share in person.

Today, I pondered why I am more open on this site than in person. I discovered it is because I can cry freely while I write. Then I wondered why I don’t cry with people…oh tears come and they fall, but I don’t allow myself to sob and weep.

I realized that I don’t cry because as a child, I cried a lot. Siblings and acquaintances called me “Cry Baby”. I learned to control the tears. They might well up in my eyes, but I would not let them fall. Norm’s death opened those gates, I still don’t allow the sobbing, but the tears will sometimes fall unbidden in the presence of others.

What am I going to do with this insight into my responses? Don’t know.

Tomorrow is my birthday, my first without Norm. He was always really good about doing something special with me. Whether a show or visiting a special site, he was good at coming up with something I’d enjoy. But, he’s not here.

I will be busy tomorrow, a brunch with my Bible study ladies, taking a friend to her doctor, and to end the day, a steak dinner with my sister and nieces and nephews which will be fun. When I’m not out doing, I’ll be putting out my Christmas decorations.

My birthday is usually the day I begin to think about goals for the next year and finding a Bible verse to focus on. One year the verse was to give thanks in everything…I felt like I fell short. Then the next year, it was “Rejoice always”… it was a tough year. My son Robert had a heart ablation, and later was diagnosed with Addison’s disease, Norm and I had some issues which needed work, and my best friend and I had a falling out…rejoicing didn’t happen much that year, but focusing on the call to rejoice allowed me to focus on giving thanks.

2025 began with a struggle to get Norm through chemo therapy and then healing, and after his death it became a matter of just living day to day without him in my life. I’ve seen the faithfulness of God throughout Norm’s cancer fight and my widowhood. Not anything we would have chosen, but God never promised a freedom from suffering, He promises to walk through it with us, bringing the encouragement we need to live each day. And with His presence, in the midst of all of this, God has given me moments of joy that cannot be explained.

I will lift up my eyes to the mountains
From where shall my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.
He will not allow your foot to slip;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel
Will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade on your right hand.
The sun will not smite you by day,
Nor the moon by night.
The Lord will protect you from all evil;
He will keep your soul.
The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in
From this time forth and forever.

Psalm 121:1–8

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the reminder each Christmas of the coming of Jesus Christ, who came because God loved us and wants us to live in harmony with Him and with one another.

I pray for wisdom and courage to speak and act in order to bless the people around me.

I rejoice in the God of my salvation who always gives me hope.

Where’s the joy? It is found only in God who is my helper, my protector, and the keeper of my soul.

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on November 27, 2025 by tricialathrop

Thanksgiving

Last year, we spent Thanksgiving at home, and some family came over, bringing us some turkey and Thanksgiving fixings. Who knew it would be the last Norm and I had together?

I have plans today. I’ll go to the home of my niece, Kimberly. My brother with his wife and my sister will also attend, my nieces and their kids, and my daughter, Jenn is coming in. We’ll have a good time. I’m taking cookies for the kids to decorate…and likely make a big mess. It will be fun.

People ask how I am, and it varies from day to day…it varies throughout the day. I can be doing well and see or hear something that brings tears to my eyes. Last week I went to WDW with my sisters, and the simple fact that they spoke to their husbands every morning brought me to tears. I miss being able to share my life with Norm.

But today is a day to focus on the blessings.

Norm is in a better place, at total peace in the presence of the Lord.

Insurance has been great about paying for his hospital bills.

Norm left me with enough financial security that I don’t have to sell the house and move in with my kids. They are thankful for that too, they don’t have to worry about that.

Getting together with my kids and grandkids is always a joy. We laugh a lot, and the memories are sweet.

I am thankful for my siblings and for Norm’s brother and sister. They are an encouragement.

Friends have continued to keep in touch. Many have let me know that they are praying for me especially now because it is the first Thanksgiving without Norm.

I’m in good health and able to continue to get out and experience life.

Most of all, I am thankful for the hope I have in Jesus Christ. Not only do I have the eternal hope of heaven, but He gives me joy to celebrate each day. God is good, His mercy endures for ever and ever.

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
Give thanks to the God of gods,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
Give thanks to the Lord of lords,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
To Him who alone does great wonders,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting;
To Him who made the heavens with skill,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting;
To Him who spread out the earth above the waters,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting;
To Him who made the great lights,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting:
The sun to rule by day,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting,
The moon and stars to rule by night,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting.

Psalm 136:1–9

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on November 17, 2025 by tricialathrop

November 16

The main thing I can say about being a widow, one never knows what each day will bring. Some days are filled with emotional stress, other days are pretty calm.

Today? A calm day…no emotional upheaval. Tomorrow? Who knows?

I’m taking each day as it comes. The future, while unknown to me, rests in the hands of God. I can trust Him to take care of me, to provide all that I need and to give me some things I want.

I know that I can fall so easily into self-pity, and the hope is that I will not stay in that mindset when it comes. A change of focus, a desire not to dwell in the dumps…and most of all, a God who is faithful.

I am thankful for these days of grace where I can focus on the positive and step away from the sorrow.

I pray for the wisdom and courage to choose life and joy each day.

I rejoice in God who loves me and will guide me along the way.

Where’s the joy? It comes regardless of my situation through Jesus Christ.

Seek the Lord while He may be found; call upon Him while He is near.

let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteousness man his thoughts, and let him return to the Lord, and He will have compassion on him, and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.”

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return there without watering the earth and making it bear and sprout, and furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater; so will My word be which goes forth from My mouth; it will not return to Me empty, without accomplishing what I desire, and without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it.”

“For you will go out with joy and be led forth with peace; the mountains and the hills will break forth into shouts of joy before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.”

Isaiah 55:6-12

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on November 14, 2025 by tricialathrop

November 13

Walking this path has its challenges. Some days are easier than others, I get up and out, meet with friends, accomplish things. And then other days, I get up and spend it alone, sometimes getting things done, sometimes I finish the day having nothing to show for it.

I thought I had come out of the fog, but it’s still around me. I struggle to focus on anything. I do what must be done…and some things become less essential as the day progresses.

I miss Norm. There’s a hole in my life. He was my biggest cheerleader and encourager in the ventures I took on. I didn’t realize how much I relied on his ever present support. I miss his wise suggestions. I miss having someone who listened to my ideas and asked the right questions. I miss making plans for our next adventure. I miss watching him play with Sierra and Sawyer.

Even though it’s still hard to reach out in the pain, I know that God has provided friends and family to come alongside and encourage and support me.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the almost 45 years I had with Norm, the memories are good.

I pray for guidance in this walk, that I will be able to reach out not only for help, but also to be an encouragement to others.

I rejoice in the God of my salvation who loves me no matter what and will be with me every step of the way.

Where’s the joy? Tough thought today, yesterday in our Bible study we discussed the need to respond, not react. We can’t change our situation, but we can change our attitude.

This is the Psalm I read this morning, it helped to adjust my attitude.

Bless the Lord, o my soul, And all that is within me, bless His holy name.

Bless the Lord, o my soul, and forget none of His benefits; Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases; Who redeems your life from the pit, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion; Who satisfies your years with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle.

The Lord performs righteous deed and judgements for all who are oppressed.

He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the sons of Israel.

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.

He will not always strive with us, nor will He keep His anger forever.

He has not dealt with us according to our sin, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.

Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him. For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.

As for man, his days are like grass; as a flower of the field, so he flourishes. When the wind has passed over it, it is no more, and its place acknowledges it no longer.

But the lovingkindness of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children’s children, to those who keep His covenant and remember His precepts to do them.

The Lord has established His throne in the heavens, and His sovereignty rules over all.

Bless the Lord, you His angels, mighty in strength, who perform His word, obeying the voice of His word!

Bless the Lord, all you His hosts, you who serve Him, doing His will.

Bless the Lord, all you works of His, in all places of His dominion;

Bless the Lord, O my soul!

Psalm 103

I can choose every day to praise the Lord regardless of how I feel or what comes my way.

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