Just as it’s the little things that can bring on tears, also the little things can bring joy.
While driving the other day, an eagle swooped down in front of me and flew off to the side carrying a rabbit. Norm would have pulled over immediately and tried for a nice shot, I just enjoyed the moment.
I saw a rainbow today, vibrant in the clarity of all its colors. I took a moment to wonder at the sight.
At this point last year, we started to notice that something was not right…thinking allergy. Since then it has been quite the emotional roller coaster, good days, bad days, hope, despair.
All I can rely on is the faithfulness of God, that He will keep His promises and that all He says in His word is truth.
Where’s the joy?
I am thankful for the moments of wonder and joy as God’s creation reveals itself as I walk.
I pray that I will look for those moments, and for the ability to see them even in the midst of my sorrow.
I rejoice in the God of all creation, who has created all nature with all its beauty.
Where’s the joy? It’s in the little things that come my way.
O Lord, our Lord, How majestic is Your name in all the earth, Who have displayed Your splendor above the heavens! From the mouth of infants and nursing babes You have established strength Because of Your adversaries, To make the enemy and the revengeful cease. When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, The moon and the stars, which You have ordained; What is man that You take thought of him, And the son of man that You care for him? Yet You have made him a little lower than God, And You crown him with glory and majesty! You make him to rule over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under his feet, All sheep and oxen, And also the beasts of the field, The birds of the heavens and the fish of the sea, Whatever passes through the paths of the seas. O Lord, our Lord, How majestic is Your name in all the earth!
I dreamed about Norm last night. We were enjoying talking while sitting under a lilac tree and then I was in an office having to tell them my emergency contact…not Norm…rude awakening.
All day it was the little things: Walking in the shower and not having to change the shower head. Going to the living room and not seeing Norm sitting at the computer. The conversations, the holding hands, sharing the mundane things of life…
It seems I’m moving forward and a little thing will reach out and slam me to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably.
I don’t like being a widow. It’s painful. It’s messy. It’s unpredictable.
Norm’s college friends are planting a tree in memory of Norm. Next weekend the kids and I will be spreading Norm’s ashes along the Blue Ridge Parkway…one of his favorite photo places. More tears expected.
Where’s the joy?
I am thankful for the memories. I’ve probably put that down a lot of times, but memories are important, they remind me of the good times we had, even on days when we did nothing special.
I pray for the upcoming week of celebrating Norm, not really sure how or what to pray, but the Lord is faithful and He will give us what we need.
I rejoice that God is faithful to answer prayers, even those we don’t know we need. He arranged it so I can be at the planting of the tree.
Where’s the joy? I can rest in the fact that God is taking care of the details and providing joyful moments even in the sorrow.
Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth!
Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing!
Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name!
For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.
Last night I went to our Good Friday Service.I thought about the Tennebrae Service that we used to do at Grace Chapel in Clifton Park. The word tennebrae means shadows, and we would go through the last actions of Christ before his crucifixion and with each shadow, the sanctuary would get darker until there was no light. We would leave in total darkness and silence.
For our service several people would speak about each shadow. One year our pastor met me at the door and said that one of the speakers was ill and would I fill in. So I read the Scripture passage, prayed and wrote a speech. Norm talked about it years later…just because of my opening line. “Death, the final frontier.”
Matthew 26:36–42 The Garden of Gethsemane
Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to His disciples, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be grieved and distressed. Then He said to them, “My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me.” And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will.” And He came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, “So, you men could not keep watch with Me for one hour? “Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” He went away again a second time and prayed, saying, “My Father, if this cannot pass away unless I drink it, Your will be done.”
As I’ve gone through this time with Norm, first with his cancer and then dealing with his death, my talk a number of years ago hit on what I’m going to share now. Norm spoke to me about how he never understood about cancer. He did not realize how very painful it was, and that going through chemo, there are days one can’t rise up to do…and unless one goes through the experience, one doesn’t know.
That’s why it is important to have the support and encouragement of those who have been there. We can pray, we can sympathize, but we don’t really know unless we experience it.
I’m going through it now as a widow, my friends who have walked this road are a great encouragement…they know. I do appreciate the prayers and support of those who have not walked this road, and I would not wish this on anyone, but there’s a different compassion from those who have walked it before.
When Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane and felt so weighted down by his coming crucifixion and death, he had never experienced death. He knew about death. He knew what came after death. He saw the effects of death. But he had never personally experienced death. He didn’t want to, we see that in his prayer, “If there is any other way, don’t make me go through this.”
His time on the cross did not just involve death. He took on the sins of every person who has ever lived. He took on our sins, past, present and future. He became sin for us, and took on the penalty of God’s wrath, so that we could become the righteousness of God. He, a man without sin, paid the penalty of death so that we could live eternally with God.
God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Corinthians 5:21
As he took on all of our sins, he had another experience he knew about, but had never experienced. For the first time in all eternity that came before, he felt the absence of God’s presence. He cried, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Mt 27:46)
On the cross, Jesus experienced the weight of sin, the wrath of God, the absence of God, and death. Why would he do that?
In this is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 1 John 4:10
Norm explained the salvation provided by Jesus on the cross in this way. Think of an excel spreadsheet where all your good words and actions are assets and your wrong words and actions are debits.
When we all face God in heaven, we will be asked to give an accounting of our words and actions. Some think that if our good outweigh the bad, then we will enter into heaven…but that’s because we don’t understand a holy God. Sin cannot be in the presence of God, and all of us have fallen short of the perfection required to get into heaven.
But God sent his son, Jesus, who lived a life without sin. He lived a perfect life, loving others and loving God with all his heart, soul and mind. When he died on the cross, he took on himself all of our imperfections, and paid the penalty of God’s wrath and death for all of us.
When we come to realize that in our own power we are not good enough to earn heaven…since perfection is required…and none of us are perfect, then if we realize that Jesus paid that penalty, his excel spreadsheet of perfection can be copied and pasted on our spreadsheet, so that when we stand before the Lord, it is Jesus’ life of perfection that is revealed to our credit. Our words and actions, both good and bad are replaced by those of Jesus. His righteousness is credited to us and we can live forever with him.
Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:5-11
Where’s the joy?
I am thankful that Jesus came to earth as a man and took my sins on the cross, so that I can walk with him for eternity.
I pray for wisdom and courage each day to walk in the way that Jesus walked, loving God and loving others.
I rejoice that God loved us enough to send Jesus to us.
Where’s the joy? It’s in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. For without the words and actions of Jesus, we would have no hope.
It’s been a tough day. I saw this picture and thought “I will not see this smile again”…at least not until I get to heaven. On the worst of my days, Norm could always make me laugh.
Sometimes I can push through, other times I am overwhelmed with sorrow. I know it is to be expected, it doesn’t make the pain any less. When you love someone, it hurts when they are gone.
I miss his presence, his laughter, his wisdom…the house is very quiet without him. I can turn on the TV or music…just not the same.
Where’s the joy?
I am thankful for the great memories that I have of Norm. We loved each other, raised wonderful kids, and had some great adventures.
I pray for grace for myself, and that I will extend grace to others.
I rejoice that God is faithful. He has a plan. I can trust Him to do what is best, and to walk me through the path He has laid out before me.
We are coming up on a month since Norm passed. The celebration of life is completed. Aimee left two precious joys with me for a few days. They are keeping me busy.
Last night, Sawyer awoke, crying for his mommy. At first I tried to soothe him, but then I just joined him in the tears. How will I do this?
I have a number of widow friends, encouraging me…by just telling me they are praying. They’ve walked this path, some of them a couple of times. The only path is through the grief, embracing the love that grief reveals, and loving those who are still walking this earthly road.
At one point during Norm’s cancer and treatment, he said, “Everything has been taken away from me…except love. I still have God’s love, the love of my wife and children, the love of family and friends. The love they have for me does not depend on what I can do for them. Right now, I can do nothing except be a burden and they still love me.”
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him.
In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us. By this we know that we abide in Him and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit.
We have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son to be the Savior of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God.
We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love, because He first loved us.
If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also.
1 John 4:7–21
Where is the joy?
I am thankful for my family and friends who continue to encourage me in this walk.
I pray for the strength and wisdom to show love to others, not only by my words but by my actions.
I rejoice that God loved us and sent Jesus Christ to enable us to enter into God’s presence without fear.
Where is the joy? It is in the love of family and friends who are there in the good times and the bad.
Norman Douglas Lathrop, 68, passed away peacefully on Thursday, March 6, 2025 at UT Medical Center, with his wife and daughters present.
Norm was born in Hammond, Indiana to Charles Sumner and Marilyn Francis Lathrop on July 14, 1956. He spent his childhood at Sharon Center, Ohio with his siblings Brian Keith Lathrop and Joyce Ellen Lathrop Davis. He graduated from Highland High School in Medina County, Ohio. He earned a Bachelor of Science degree in Engineering at the University of Kentucky. He was a mechanical engineer for over 30 years, specializing in jet engines, steam, and gas turbines.
Norm loved spending time with his family. He married Patricia Jo Akers Lathrop on June 21, 1980. He often took his children, Jennifer Joy Lathrop, Aimee Elizabeth Lathrop Woodin, and Robert Michael Lathrop on hiking adventures and various museums. He was a doting “Poppop” to Sierra Mae Woodin and Sawyer Robert Woodin whom he entertained with stories of his adventures and those of his children.
Norm was a man of diverse passions. He explored history, expressed himself through drawing and storytelling, found solace in hiking, and captured beauty through photography. After retiring in 2014, he embarked on a journey to visit every U.S. National Park, successfully completing those in the contiguous United States and Hawaii, along with several in Alaska. His keen eye captured breathtaking landscapes, earning him photography awards. He also dedicated years to crafting detailed Civil War uniforms for 1/6 scale action figures. During the pandemic, he discovered a love for woodworking, creating cherished items for family and friends.
A devout follower of Jesus Christ, Norm shared his faith through teaching Junior High Sunday School, leading Bible studies, and engaging in thoughtful discussions about scripture. In his final days, his deepest longing was to walk and converse with the Lord in His garden.
He expressed profound gratitude for the compassionate care provided by the doctors, nurses, and staff at UT Medical Center, who diligently worked to extend his life.
Norm wanted everyone to know that he fought as hard as he could to survive the cancer. He appreciated all the prayers and good thoughts of his family, friends, and people he did not know. He was amazed and humbled by the love shown by so many.
Norm’s absence will be deeply felt by all who had the privilege of knowing him.
In lieu of flowers, please consider making a donation to the National Park Service, St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, or another charity of your choice.
Yesterday, we had a Celebration of Life service for Norm. It all went beautifully. We displayed some of his artwork, photos, and some artwork by his granddaughter, Sierra.
Several stood to share what Norm had meant to them, and stories of his humor, his storytelling, and his dedication to the Lord. My children spoke of how great he was as a father. His friends spoke of his living life to the fullest and how he encouraged them.
I didn’t speak…couldn’t trust myself to keep it together. But I loved hearing how he ministered and cared for the people around him. After the service, several who had prayed for Norm, but never met him, wished they had met him.
I am amazed that I was able to get through the day. I have a theory: When we come together to honor someone who has died, I think God takes the grief that would fall on the family and spreads it out among all who attend, or who had desired to attend, because the grief on that day would be too much for the spouse or child to bear alone.
I know that the continued prayers of family and friends are giving me the strength I need to get through these first few weeks. There is so much that needs to be done. It’s overwhelming at times.
But the tears are flowing easier now. My family has been a real blessing, my children and siblings have made sure I’m not alone. Twenty-one of us went to one of Norm’s favorite restaurants for lunch, Hot Rods in Alcoa, TN. It was a great time together.
I feel his loss…I cry for me, he’s much better off, walking in the garden with the Lord. God still has more for me here.
I read Norm’s pondering while he was in the midst of chemo, and it looked like he was going to survive and be able to get out and do. His question, “What will I do with my extra days?”
As I continue on this road as a widow, it is a question for my own life. “What will I do with the days that God has granted me?”
He who watches the wind will not sow and he who looks at the clouds will not reap.
Just as you do not know the path of the wind and how bones are formed in the womb of the pregnant woman, so you do not know the activity of God who makes all things.
Sow your seed in the morning and do not be idle in the evening, for you do not know whether morning or evening sowing will succeed, or whether both of them alike will be good.
Ecclesiastes 11:4-6
Where’s the joy?
I am thankful for all the people who came to Norm’s Celebration of Life, to share what they knew of Norm, or to support me and my family in this time of grief.
I pray for wisdom to walk this path, allowing myself to grieve, but not to shut myself off from the people whom God will place in my path, either for my benefit, or theirs.
I rejoice that God’s plan is good and He will be faithful to me and my family as we walk this path of grief.
Where’s the joy? I find joy in the people that God has placed in my life, family and friends, and others I have not met as yet.
I finally got through to Norm’s pension plan. I’ve tried to call for over a week and kept getting a busy signal. I found a number on one of the letters he had received, they gave me the number I needed. So I think I’m set, I’ll know if it all went through in a few weeks.
Then while doing taxes, I found that I needed a form from a financial company. They said click on this link to get the form. I needed an account number and a password, which I could not find. I called the number on the site. Since I didn’t have the required information, they said I needed to email another group for them to get permission to give me the form I needed…and that group said they no longer handled that particular financial issue. So…what to do?
I’ve handled our finances for quite a while. In fact, I was trying to make sure Norm knew where all the accounts and numbers and passwords were located. I thought I had what I needed for Norm’s accounts, but no. Suggestion for those of you with a spouse, make sure there is a copy of all your accounts and all passwords in a place that your spouse can find and that you have the same from your spouse.
As I deal with the financial aspect of Norm’s passing, this Saturday we will have a celebration of his life. I went through his memory box and found some high school memorabilia and some of his award photos and a newspaper article about him. I need to figure out the best way to display those…but there are a few things missing from his college days. I’ll have to see if there is another box somewhere.
It’s been a busy day, some success, some failures. Tears come at unexpected times. I miss Norm’s presence. I miss his wisdom. I know he’s in a better place, doesn’t make me miss him any less.
Where’s the joy? Not in paperwork…
I am thankful that I finally got through to Norm’s pension.
I pray for wisdom as I plan the service for Saturday, that it will honor the Lord, and celebrate the life Norm led.
I rejoice that God knows what I need and has it all under control.
For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?
Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?
And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?
And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!
Do not worry then, saying, “What will we eat?” or “What will we drink?” or “What will we wear for clothing?”For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your Heavenly Father knows that you need these things.
But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
I’m a widow. In just one day I changed my demographic, no longer married…a widow.
It’s not like I’m going to run around and tell people, “I’m a widow now”. I will comment about my husband, sharing stories of our life together. But for the rest of my life on those forms we fill out ad nauseam, I will have to mark “widow”.
For some reason this realization is hitting me hard. It’s weird. It identifies me as someone who was once married, but is no longer because of death. And I’m not sure how to deal with it.
The term, widow, draws up images of “Gone With the Wind” and the Scarlett dancing in her widow’s garb. In the English movies, the widow is either a scheming bitter woman who speaks poorly about everyone, or a senseless dowager who needs constant watching.
There are some widows in the Bible. Naomi, who called herself Mara, because of bitterness, but had the grace to find provision for her widowed daughter-in-law Ruth.
The widow of Naan, for whom Jesus raised her son to life. In those days children took care of their widowed mothers and if she didn’t have that protection, she could be reduced to begging. Jesus gave her not only her son, but her provision.
Anna dwelled in the temple for 70 years as a widow, and gave witness to Jesus Christ as the Messiah alongside Simeon.
Jesus praised the widow, who in her need, gave all she had to the Lord.
The only non-widow in the women mentioned in Jesus’ genealogy was Mary, his mother. But by the time Jesus began his ministry, she was a widow.
The prophets criticized the leaders of Israel for not taking care of the widows or orphans and not hearing their causes. Jesus commented that the leadership of his day “devoured” widows houses (Mark 12:40). James tells us that caring for widows and orphans in their affliction is a part of pure and undefiled religion.
Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. James 1:27
In America today, most widows are not as reliant on their children as in the past. Most have Social Security or a pension, either from their own job or their husband’s. Of course, this does not apply to all widows, some do need to rely on their children or the state for their provision and care.
Now that I am a widow, I see that I didn’t see the needs of the widows, not that I ignored them or didn’t help…I just wasn’t aware of some needs.
1 Timothy 5 gives some guidelines for caring for widows. The first responsibility falls to the family, children and grandchildren. Then it falls to the church. Younger widows were encouraged to remarry.
There are cautions mentioned: don’t be idle, don’t go from house to house just being idle, don’t become gossips or busybodies talking about things not worth mentioning. (1 Timothy 5:13)
As a widow, I am to fix my hope on God and continue in entreaties and prayers. I am to be devoted good works, showing hospitality to strangers, assisting those in distress, serving the Lord in the church, teaching the young women…all the things I should have been doing all along…
Paul also has guidelines for the widows and the single women. As an unmarried woman now, I can focus more on the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit.
The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 1 Corinthians 7:24
I am a widow, and in that role I have some responsibilities before the Lord. It should be interesting to see where this path takes me.
Where’s the joy?
I am thankful for the people who have rallied around me during this time of grieving and readjustment.
I pray for wisdom and courage to walk in the path that the Lord has set before me.
I rejoice that God cares for those who are needy and somewhat helpless, so much so that he calls his people to care for the broken and hurting.
Where’s the joy? The Lord continues to have a purpose for my life and will reveal his plan as I seek His face.
I went through some of Norm’s items. I’m finally unpacking what I brought home from the hospital. It reminded me of what a roller coaster the last five weeks have been. It not only held items for his hospital stay, but also clothes for him to wear when he came home.
Sometimes, it’s as if he’s just away on one of his camping trips, at any minute he could walk through the door…but then, the reality of his being gone hits. Lunch with a friend and a few card games with my nephew provided some distraction, but the reality is always with me.
The memories are all good. I know there were times Norm frustrated me, but what I wouldn’t give to have him back, even on the most frustrating of days.
I’m preparing for his Celebration of his life. I love looking at it that way instead of as a memorial or funeral. He blessed a lot of people. His photos took people to places they could not go on their own. His storytelling never failed to entertain. He could talk to anyone about pretty much anything, his knowledge covered a number of topics.
Where’s the joy?
I am thankful for the extra four months with Norm that the Lord gave to me through the effort of several doctors.
I pray for wisdom and courage as I walk this path.
I rejoice that God gives us memories to enjoy and to share with others.
Where’s the joy? It’s in sharing the stories, not only of Norm, but of what God has done.
Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips will praise You. So I will bless You as long as I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name.
My soul is satisfied as with marrow and fatness, and my mouth offers praises with joyful lips.
When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches, for You have been my help, and in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy.
My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me.
My husband’s prayer: “Lord, please release my spirit so that I can walk with You in Your garden.” Today, Norm’s prayer was answered. He walks with the Lord in His heavenly garden.
My heart aches for my children and me. I came home to a house full of memories of Norm. He walks the earth no longer.
Where’s the joy?
I give thanks that Norm is no longer struggling with pain.
I pray for comfort for my family as we deal with the grief of losing Norm. I also pray for wisdom and strength as I walk the road ahead.
I rejoice that Norm is with the Lord.
Where’s the joy? I have hope that I will see Norm again.
This is my final Where’s the Joy?. I had hoped for a different ending, one where Norm is healed of his cancer and we continue our wonderful adventures. God chose a new path for me, without my best friend, most avid encourager, and wise counsellor.
So I will start a new series, Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk.
For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are the sons of God. For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!”
The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God, fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the anxious longing of the creation waits eagerly for the revealing of the sons of God.
For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself also will be set free from its slavery to corruption into the freedom of the glory of the children of God.
For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now. And not only this, but also we ourselves having the first fruits of the Spirit, even ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body.
For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees?
But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.
And not only this, but also we ourselves having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of the body.
For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees.
But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.
TRICIA LATHROP 