Posts Tagged With: jesus

Where’s the Joy?

Posted on February 12, 2025 by tricialathrop

February 11

It has been a roller coaster kind of week. We waver between Norm behaving as if he will die in a few days, to great reports about what is happening with him.

He continues to have a fever with unknown origin…I guess not uncommon with chemo patients. They’ve ruled out a lot of things. Norm is not presenting symptoms to identify with any one thing. No headaches, no nausea, he just has overall body aches and weakness, along with the fever. But each day, the fever stays lower longer and doesn’t spike as high.

They’ve done multiple tests and scans. What we know, the cancer has not returned. The scans show that the chemo is wiping out the cancer. There is no longer any sign of it in the brain. We Thank God for that.

Norm is tired of fighting. He says that he is broken mentally, physically, and spiritually. This morning, before we got news from the doctors, he wanted to go home and die. He mourns the death of the man he was.

He always wants to know, so he can act. It’s been almost a week in the hospital, and still no answers. Well, a lot of answers as to what it is not, just not what it is.

He wants to come home, but he needs to be where he can get treated to get stronger. He is getting stronger. But he is frustrated.

As I said at the beginning of this post, we are on a roller coaster. He’s up, he’s down…we’re thrown for another loop…and never coming to rest.

Where’s the joy? Another tough day of uncertainty sprinkled with hope.

I am thankful for my family. My kids spent the day with Norm so I could have some regrouping time.

I pray for Norm, that he will regain physical stamina, spiritual wisdom, and emotional stability.

I rejoice that God continues to hold Norm in his hand, regardless of the difficulty and lack of knowledge.

Where’s the joy? God remains faithful, even when I do not.

Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me.

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in Him.”

The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. Lamentations 3:19-26

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on February 12, 2025 by tricialathrop

February 9

The last two days have been awful. Saturday night, Jenn and I returned to the house to get some rest before returning to the hospital the next morning. I got a text from Norm complaining about the staff, said he was refusing to do what they asked until he talked to a doctor. He thought his symptoms required a visit to ICU and how could these so called professionals not see it.

His mind is under attack by an unknown illness. He has no control over the anger, and when he gets an idea in his head, he will not be dissuaded. The last week he’s been yelling at me, but now he was yelling at the nurses.

I know and the nurses know that this is the disease speaking. One of the nurses commented on his prior behavior on the floor, they knew this was not the way my husband would react. The nurses are used to dealing with cancer patients who are in life changing situations. Sometimes the cancer does a number on the brain, sometimes the treatment can cause the emotional shifts, sometimes an infection will invade an already compromised body and wreak havoc.

Jenn, who has a way with talking to upset people, calmed him down. She helped restore him to some rationality, but he was still angry, even though he felt as if someone heard.

This has been tough on Norm. There is fear of losing control. Norm never used drugs or drank alcohol because he wanted his mind and emotions in tact, he did not want to lose control. Yet, here he is…hearing himself be hateful, but unable to stop.

Nine months ago he was hiking 10-12 miles per hike. When this started, there was a fear he would never hike again.

Out west, he enjoyed driving us in an OHV all over the San Juan Mountains. It was scary at times and required skill and full awareness.

In August we spent a week watching the grands, going to the park, playing, enjoying one another’s company. They love playing with their Poppop, who throws himself totally into their games. Due to the illness, we have not seen them since, except on FaceTime.

Norm loves to do woodworking, his Covid hobby. He is in the process of building a bed for his grandson Sawyer. Partially finished, it sits in the garage.

He had plans to go to Yellowstone for two weeks to look for wolves to photograph. We had plans to go to the Northeast and revisit some of our favorite places when the leaves were in their autumn peak. We had plans to take the Viking River Cruise from Amsterdam to Budapest in the spring.

We’ve made some plans to celebrate his survival. A Disney cruise in April, a trip to Yellowstone with some family and friends in the fall, and another trip to visit the cathedrals in France. All on hold at the moment, but not cancelled.

Wherever we go, and on Norm’s hiking trips, he takes award winning photographs…he took second place in the National Parks photo contest. He has been to all the National Parks in the continental US, as well as some in Alaska and all in Hawaii. He had planned a trip to Alaska in 2025 to get the remaining parks there…not happening this year. If he recovers, maybe next year.

His favorite things, family…especially the grands Sierra and Sawyer, debating with his friends, hiking, photography, word working, and having deep thoughts…all are suffering because of the cancer and now diminished because of whatever is happening in his brain.

One day while I held his hand, he had a thought. All that made his life worthwhile had been stripped away except love. God loves him. I love him. His family loves him. His friends love him. People he has never met show their love by praying for his healing.

He decided at that time, love was enough.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful that Norm knows he is loved. He’s a little fuzzy on that, but he sees his family staying by his side and knows that people are praying.

I pray for those living without the knowledge of love, especially the love that God has for them. God loves each one so much that he sent Jesus Christ to die on the cross in payment of their sin so that they could come to know God as a loving Father.

I rejoice that we continue to hope in spite of the circumstances.

Where’s the joy? The joy is in the assurance of God’s love in our lives. No matter what we have done, He loves us. No matter how far we run away from him, He loves us. No matter what we see happening around us, God loves us with a love that is deeper and purer than anyone on earth can give.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. John 3:16-18

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on February 8, 2025 by tricialathrop

So yesterday, Norm began the day walking with a cane, by noon he needed a walker…and that was unsteady. At 3, he began to run a 103 degree fever. I had to have help getting him into a wheelchair to get him to the hospital. Thank you Mike.

With the emergency department completely full and Norm immune compromised, we were able to get him into a processing room. They did a lot of tests and took some blood cultures to figure out what is going on.

Most troubling is the attitude change, back to the anger…not only at me but at all the nurses trying to take care of him. I was so happy when the chemo seemed to be working to have my husband back, with a great sense of humor…this man with this sickness…he’s just angry.

Now, we are in the cancer ward. While we don’t know the cause of the fever, all the contagious possibilities have been ruled out. No covid, no RSV, no flu.

Still angry. I can’t imagine the thoughts going through his mind. He has to be confused, everything was going well and now he cannot take care of himself. He can’t even sit up by himself, let alone walk.

I try to give him the grace he needs in order for him to vent his frustration, but there comes a point where I need to step away and regroup.

I have to ask myself, how would I behave in a similar situation? I’m not sure. The anger seems to be related to the cancer…so he can’t help that.

I know of a woman who could not live with her husband because he threatened her life, he could live with his son, but she was in danger. I can’t imagine.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful we live near a leading edge health care facility, UT staff have been great.

I pray that the Lord will continue to give me grace to extend to Norm as he fights this awful disease.

I rejoice that we have been able to get Norm in to someone who can give him the help he needs.

Where’s the joy? Though the road is hard and has a lot of bumps, God continues to provide for all our needs.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say rejoice.

Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

And the peace of god, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Philippians 4:4-8

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on February 6, 2025 by tricialathrop

February 5

Our visit to the oncologist did not go as expected. In the last seven days I’ve watched my husband’s progress in this journey fade away. His appetite, his strength, his freedom from pain, his forward thinking all gone.

Our plans for a cruise in April and Yellowstone with friends in September, all on hold while we wait to see what the new scans tell us about his condition. How does one hope for a brighter future yet prepare for the worst case scenario?

We will wait for the results, an uncertain future. We are moved to the front of the line as far as getting scans, they will be done within the week. Meanwhile, the scheduled chemo treatments will continue.

Again, not the path we would have chosen. We have seen time after time when the Lord intervened in the eleventh hour, preserving his life. I cry. I pray. I do what I can to make him comfortable while we wait for answers.

Where’s the joy? Tough question today.

I am thankful for every day I have with Norm. We have had some great times.

I pray for Norm’s healing, God can intervene again. But if God chooses to take Norm home to be with Him, then I pray for strength to continue and be the support Norm will need.

I rejoice that whatever comes our way, we are loved by the Lord God Almighty.

Where’s the joy? If the cancer has returned, God gave me a few extra months with the man I love.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him.

In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. John 4:7-11

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on February 4, 2025 by tricialathrop

February 3

Another day of uncertainty. Norm will go to the doctor tomorrow so that they can evaluate how best to help him through this struggle. I’m hoping he just needs some fluid or hemoglobin, to help him with the chemo treatments.

Today, I had a flat tire, I picked up a nail when I ran over some debris. Norm usually takes care of issues with the car. He did remind me not to drive on the flat…so I called AAA. Then he told me where he takes the cars for tire issues…Matlock’s in Maryville. Nice people, fixed my problem without charging me.

It took me back to the first days of the chemo diagnosis, when it looked like Norm wasn’t going to live.

Even in all the uncertainty, I have hope. This could all be just a minor set back, though it looks more serious. Extra fluids tomorrow could give him the energy he needs to continue with strength on the road to recovery. I don’t know what’s coming, but God does.

Christians often quote Jeremiah 29:11. “For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” Sounds great, I’ll take that promise. But it comes before their exile to Babylon for 70 years.

God’s plan for good sometimes comes through suffering. I don’t know God’s plans for our future, but He knows and I can trust Him to have a plan for our good and not calamity.

Where’s the Joy?

I am thankful that God cares for each one of us and has a plan specific to each one of us.

I pray that as Norm and I walk this journey God has chosen, that we will be able to encourage and bless others along the way.

I rejoice in God my Savior. He who is mighty has done great things. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Where’s the joy? “Do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside quiet waters.

He restores my soul;

He guides me in the paths of righteousness

For His name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I fear no evil, for You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You have anointed my head with oil;

My cup overflows.

Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalm 23

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on January 31, 2025 by tricialathrop

January 30

Most days are going well, today started great and then crashed and burned with a total meltdown. I spoke to the doctor about these episodes, and while unfortunate, not unexpected. They had given us meds to deal with the anxiety when needed. Don’t need them often, but we do on days like this.

We do see this time of struggle coming to a close. The chemos are working and only three to go over the next four weeks.

It’s been a tough road, but God has been faithful to us. Some days have seemed like more than we can handle, but God always provides what we need to get through the day.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for friends who check in and take the time to listen.

I pray for an awareness of the needs of others, so I can pay the kindness forward to others who need encouragement.

I rejoice in the fact that God is always present, even when I don’t feel him.

Where’s the joy? Today, it’s friends and family who walk alongside us.

Put on then as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving eah other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

And above all, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Colossians 3:12-15

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on January 24, 2025 by tricialathrop

January 24

It’s been a rough few weeks. I came down with the flu. Norm has had two treatments since I last posted. We’ve had good news, the cancer is shrinking throughout his body.

Tough to take, the build up of the chemicals in his body are taking their toll on his stamina and mental fortitude.

Tomorrow we begin the last leg of the race, the final quarter. The end is in sight, only four more treatments. But the path ahead still looks daunting. Most trained distance runners always have a kick saved for the final laps…but cancer comes upon us and no one has trained for that final kick to make it through.

My daughter ran a marathon without a lot of training. She made it through the middle portion by asking people alongside the road to cheer for her, and they did. But the last leg of the journey, it was a matter of one foot in front of the other, a dogged determination to make it through.

Tonight, Norm’s frustration reached a low, “Four more treatments…how am I going to make it?”

My response, “You will make it in the same way you’ve made it so far. People are praying. People are hoping for you to come through this totally healed. People are cheering you on to the completion of the treatment. The Lord has carried you this far, He will be with you throughout the treatment.”

He is resting peacefully now. I hope he sleeps through the night and awakens refreshed.

I am thankful that we are not facing this treatment alone, we have friends and family for encouragement all along the way.

I pray that the final treatments will do what they are intended to do, and that Norm will have the strength of body and mind to continue to fight to beat cancer.

I rejoice that, no matter how it looks, God has this.

Where is the joy? I can’t say I’ve seen much joy today, it’s been tough. The joy is found in trusting in God’s faithfulness, appearances are deceiving, but God remains faithful.

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might, He increases power.

Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary. Isaiah 40:28-31

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on January 13, 2025 by tricialathrop

January 12

It’s been a few weeks. Norm got a great report, the lesion on his brain is almost gone. We are still waiting on the results of the body chemo.

Even though we have great news, it is tough maintaining a positive attitude. I guess chemo builds up in one’s body as the treatments progress. Norm is definitely doing better, he no longer needs a wheelchair to get around…but he struggles with continual weakness. This week he got down on the floor to fix a lose wire, and could not get back up.

It becomes a mind game. The reports say he should feel better, and he does, but not as much as he thinks he should. As a caretaker, first time through this, it is also difficult to encourage when I think he should be doing better.

We are in the middle third of the marathon and it is difficult. It takes every bit of strength and resolve that one has…but it feels as if all the strength and resolve no longer exists, and every bit of reserve is drained.

Where’s the joy, when the road is hard and we cannot even conjure up a positive thought? It feels like a major bump in the road that knocks us down, bringing progress to a grinding halt.

I think we have to settle in faith, what do I believe? When our senses tell us it’s too hard to continue, what keeps us going?

Jesus never promised an easy life. But he did promise to never leave us or forsake us.

God created us to live in community, so that we have friends and family to walk alongside us in our struggles.

I am thankful that the chemo treatments are working.

I pray for strength to continue fighting through the buildup of the chemo in the body.

I rejoice that God has this all in His hand. I can trust Him to do what is best.

Where’s the joy? Trusting in the One who always has our best in mind.

Sometimes, our fight is an object lesson to encourage those around us. Our struggle for integrity as we walk the path, may encourage another to keep going. People around the US are seeing their prayers for Norm answered, many we don’t even know.

I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and he will hear me. In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refuses to be comforted. When I remember God, I moan; when I meditate, my spirit faints. Selah.

You hold my eyelids open; I am so troubled that I cannot speak. I consider the days of old, the years long ago. I said, “Let me remember my song in the night; let me meditate in my heart.”

Then my spirit made diligent search: Will the Lord spurn forever, and never again be favorable? Has his steadfast love forever ceased? Are his promises at an end for all time? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he in anger shut up his compassion? Selah.

Then I said, “I will appeal to this, to the years of the right hand of the Most High.” I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds.

Your way, O God, is holy. What god is great like our God? You are the God who works wonders; you have made known your might among the peoples. Psalm 77:1-14

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on December 25, 2024 by tricialathrop

December 24

Today the word is peace. The angels announced to the shepherds about Jesus, “Peace on earth, good will to men.”

But Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote in the 19th century about the bells on Christmas Day, and said, “There is no peace on earth.” But he follows that with a statement about God, “He is not dead, nor doth He sleep.”

I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play,
    And wild and sweet
    The words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
    Had rolled along
    The unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Till ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
    A voice, a chime,
    A chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Then from each black, accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South,
    And with the sound
    The carols drowned
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,
    And made forlorn
    The households born
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head;
“There is no peace on earth,” I said;
    “For hate is strong,
    And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!”

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
    The Wrong shall fail,
    The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men.”

The Webster definition of peace: Freedom from disturbance; Tranquility; A state of no war. We live in troubled times, when people need to be reminded to treat the people around them with kindness.

Isaiah prophesies the titles that would be given to Jesus in Isaiah 9:6. The Prince of Peace will reign in the Kingdom of God. Romans 14 tells us, this kingdom consists of righteousness, peace, and joy. As a follower of Jesus Christ, I look forward to the day in eternity when the characteristics of righteousness, peace, and joy are at their fullest. But today, I can live in this temporal world and exhibit those qualities as I interact with the people around me.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father. Colossians 3:15-17.

By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His oly begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 1 John 4:9-11

We will have peace when we begin to treat others as we want to be treated, without waiting for them to treat us well first.

Today at Walmart, yes, I was there at its busiest time, I had an opportunity to give some peace of mind to a young mom. She stood in the checkout line, scanning her items with her phone. At first I thought, hey, does Walmart have an app where you can check out with your phone. Then she began to pull out things to put back on the shelf. She prioritized her items and struggled with some decisions.

At this point, I remembered that I had $20 in my pocket. When I had discovered it, I questioned why I had put it there since I was going to use a card. I pulled it out and gave it to her.

I remember the struggle with young kids, wanting to give them a nice Christmas, but having to stay within a budget. Today, $20 isn’t going to break me, but for her, it meant she could keep the items in her basket. She cried as she thanked me, and I’m sure one day she will help a young mom in need.

Being kind doesn’t have to cost money. A smile, a kind word, a hug, a helping hand…all are free to give. With kindness, we can offer peace to the people around us, even those who don’t think or act as we think they should.

Jesus came to bring peace. We are the vessels that he can use to extend grace and mercy to those around us, that will lead to peace.

I am thankful that I have been blessed and have opportunities to pay it forward.

I pray for the woman today, that she and her family will have a fun and enjoyable Christmas Day.

I rejoice in Jesus, who came to bring peace as the Prince of Peace.

Where’s the joy? It is fun to give when there is no expectation of payback.

Jesus said: “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.” John 14:27

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on December 24, 2024 by tricialathrop

December 23

The word for today is love. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him will have eternal life.” John 3:16.

Some of us grew up with the Monty Python view of God, a big foot dropping out of the sky to squish us no matter how hard we try. Some think that God looks for a reason to condemn us so that He can punish us. Some think God looks down on us from Heaven, without caring for us. Others think He doesn’t exist at all.

Jesus came to earth and presented God as a loving Father who cares for the people He created.

One thing Norm says he has learned through this ordeal is that God loves him. He has experienced love from his family, friends, and even people he does not know have reached out and pray for him by name. They do this without Norm having to do anything in return.

Before our children and grandchildren were born, they were loved. When they arrived, the first few weeks they were just eating and pooping machines…but they were loved just the same. They were loved before their first smile, their first word, or their first achievement.

I’ve met families with broken relationships, where the children ran away from their parents. I get it, some parents are mean and abusive. Some parents become addicted to drugs or alcohol and are bad parents. It’s not always the parent’s fault, sometimes, the child comes from a loving family, but makes bad choices.

God’s love transcends all human love. He loves even those who despise and deny Him. He loves the one who lives a sinful life as well as the one who tries to live a righteous life. He wants to be in relationship with each of us, and to that end, He sent Jesus Christ to earth.

For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him.

For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. And not only this, but we also exult in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have no received the reconciliation. Romans 5:6-11

I am thankful for God’s love that does not depend on my words or actions.

I pray for those in broken relationships, that forgiveness will be offered and received and that families will be reconciled.

I rejoice that God loves all people and desires that all come to a saving knowledge of Him.

Where’s the joy? Jesus came to earth so that I can have life.

And she gave birth to her firstborn son; and she wrapped Him in cloths, and laid Him in a manger because there was no room for them in the inn.

In the same region there were some shepherds staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock by night.

And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened.

But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among men with whom His is pleased.” Luke 2:7-14

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