Posts Tagged With: god

Where’s the Joy?

Posted on February 11, 2025 by tricialathrop

February 8

Still at the hospital. No answers.

My oldest daughter is here with me. My children have been great about coming in for Norm’s treatments. This weekend, he is here for an as yet unknown infection. Chemo is not happening, we are waiting to see when it can resume.

Meanwhile, we wait. Norm seems to be improving physically, not so much mentally. He’s not hearing voices, but definitely a misperception of reality. For instance, today he is positive he has bird flu from his visit to Asia 20 years ago, and doesn’t understand why the doctors don’t test for it.

It’s tough to watch him suffer and be able to offer no consolation. Nothing works, he’s just in a miserable place.

We pray. We wait. We pray while we wait. Others also pray while we wait.

It all comes back to trust. I trust God to do the best for him. I hope God will totally heal him. I know God will do/allow what is best for him.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation. Hebrews 11:1

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for my children who are here for Norm and me without complaint, helping us to navigate this path.

I pray for wisdom and strength for the people who care for Norm in the hospital and in the outpatient center.

I rejoice in the Heavenly Father who is unseen and yet sees all.

Where’s the joy? Standing on the promises that God has made to us through Jesus Christ the Lord.

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on February 8, 2025 by tricialathrop

So yesterday, Norm began the day walking with a cane, by noon he needed a walker…and that was unsteady. At 3, he began to run a 103 degree fever. I had to have help getting him into a wheelchair to get him to the hospital. Thank you Mike.

With the emergency department completely full and Norm immune compromised, we were able to get him into a processing room. They did a lot of tests and took some blood cultures to figure out what is going on.

Most troubling is the attitude change, back to the anger…not only at me but at all the nurses trying to take care of him. I was so happy when the chemo seemed to be working to have my husband back, with a great sense of humor…this man with this sickness…he’s just angry.

Now, we are in the cancer ward. While we don’t know the cause of the fever, all the contagious possibilities have been ruled out. No covid, no RSV, no flu.

Still angry. I can’t imagine the thoughts going through his mind. He has to be confused, everything was going well and now he cannot take care of himself. He can’t even sit up by himself, let alone walk.

I try to give him the grace he needs in order for him to vent his frustration, but there comes a point where I need to step away and regroup.

I have to ask myself, how would I behave in a similar situation? I’m not sure. The anger seems to be related to the cancer…so he can’t help that.

I know of a woman who could not live with her husband because he threatened her life, he could live with his son, but she was in danger. I can’t imagine.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful we live near a leading edge health care facility, UT staff have been great.

I pray that the Lord will continue to give me grace to extend to Norm as he fights this awful disease.

I rejoice that we have been able to get Norm in to someone who can give him the help he needs.

Where’s the joy? Though the road is hard and has a lot of bumps, God continues to provide for all our needs.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say rejoice.

Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

And the peace of god, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Philippians 4:4-8

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on February 6, 2025 by tricialathrop

February 5

Our visit to the oncologist did not go as expected. In the last seven days I’ve watched my husband’s progress in this journey fade away. His appetite, his strength, his freedom from pain, his forward thinking all gone.

Our plans for a cruise in April and Yellowstone with friends in September, all on hold while we wait to see what the new scans tell us about his condition. How does one hope for a brighter future yet prepare for the worst case scenario?

We will wait for the results, an uncertain future. We are moved to the front of the line as far as getting scans, they will be done within the week. Meanwhile, the scheduled chemo treatments will continue.

Again, not the path we would have chosen. We have seen time after time when the Lord intervened in the eleventh hour, preserving his life. I cry. I pray. I do what I can to make him comfortable while we wait for answers.

Where’s the joy? Tough question today.

I am thankful for every day I have with Norm. We have had some great times.

I pray for Norm’s healing, God can intervene again. But if God chooses to take Norm home to be with Him, then I pray for strength to continue and be the support Norm will need.

I rejoice that whatever comes our way, we are loved by the Lord God Almighty.

Where’s the joy? If the cancer has returned, God gave me a few extra months with the man I love.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him.

In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. John 4:7-11

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on February 4, 2025 by tricialathrop

February 3

Another day of uncertainty. Norm will go to the doctor tomorrow so that they can evaluate how best to help him through this struggle. I’m hoping he just needs some fluid or hemoglobin, to help him with the chemo treatments.

Today, I had a flat tire, I picked up a nail when I ran over some debris. Norm usually takes care of issues with the car. He did remind me not to drive on the flat…so I called AAA. Then he told me where he takes the cars for tire issues…Matlock’s in Maryville. Nice people, fixed my problem without charging me.

It took me back to the first days of the chemo diagnosis, when it looked like Norm wasn’t going to live.

Even in all the uncertainty, I have hope. This could all be just a minor set back, though it looks more serious. Extra fluids tomorrow could give him the energy he needs to continue with strength on the road to recovery. I don’t know what’s coming, but God does.

Christians often quote Jeremiah 29:11. “For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” Sounds great, I’ll take that promise. But it comes before their exile to Babylon for 70 years.

God’s plan for good sometimes comes through suffering. I don’t know God’s plans for our future, but He knows and I can trust Him to have a plan for our good and not calamity.

Where’s the Joy?

I am thankful that God cares for each one of us and has a plan specific to each one of us.

I pray that as Norm and I walk this journey God has chosen, that we will be able to encourage and bless others along the way.

I rejoice in God my Savior. He who is mighty has done great things. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Where’s the joy? “Do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside quiet waters.

He restores my soul;

He guides me in the paths of righteousness

For His name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I fear no evil, for You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You have anointed my head with oil;

My cup overflows.

Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalm 23

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on February 3, 2025 by tricialathrop

February 2

What do you do when you are at the end of your rope…and that rope is totally frayed?

Yesterday, I wanted to just walk away from the struggle and not come back for an overnight…a 24 hour breather. Find a hotel with a great view, and just regroup. I’m overwhelmed…but only 3 more treatments to go.

I know it’s worse for Norm, he has cancer. As the caregiver, this is not easy. It takes its toll physically and emotionally.

Norm seems to have returned to some of the pre-treatment symptoms. He’s not eating as much, sleeping more, getting angry more…but that could be the steroids or the meds, he’s on some pretty powerful stuff that has to be interfering with everything.

We got good reports from the doctors, but this day to day is draining. I’m dealing with a fear that this is the new normal. I don’t know what’s ahead, and this is probably just an irrational fear that rears its ugly head and messes with me psychologically.

Talking with my adult kids about this, we concluded that we are at mile 20 of the marathon…where both my girls always hit the marathon wall. We only have a quarter of the treatments to go, the finish line is in sight. We have hope that his cancer will be cured and this nightmare will be over.

As I have what I call my patti pity party, I’m reminded that we are in a good place. Norm’s treatment is working. Others have walked this road, with no hope of a cure, having chemo to keep the pain at bay while they pass. Some have not even got to have treatments, the cancer being found too late. There are some who walk this road alone. I am truly blessed with family and friends who walk alongside.

This morning I lay in bed and did a lot of crying. I didn’t want to face the day. A song came to mind from Disney’s Frozen 2. Anna had lost Elsa, Olaf and had discovered that her grandfather had deceived and cheated a group of people. As she struggled with the loss, she sang, “Do the Next Right Thing.”

Where’s the joy? Giving up is not an option. I will face today, tomorrow and the days following with the grace that God provides. I will endeavor to deal with Norm, knowing that God is the One who determines the outcome and gives strength to make it day by day.

I am thankful that we have hope in a cure and restoration of health for Norm.

I pray for those who are walking with no hope, that they will be given the strength and courage to persevere. And that amidst their struggle, they will be able to find peace and joy that God provides.

I rejoice that God has this, no matter what comes our way.

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given him. James 1:2-5

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on January 24, 2025 by tricialathrop

January 24

It’s been a rough few weeks. I came down with the flu. Norm has had two treatments since I last posted. We’ve had good news, the cancer is shrinking throughout his body.

Tough to take, the build up of the chemicals in his body are taking their toll on his stamina and mental fortitude.

Tomorrow we begin the last leg of the race, the final quarter. The end is in sight, only four more treatments. But the path ahead still looks daunting. Most trained distance runners always have a kick saved for the final laps…but cancer comes upon us and no one has trained for that final kick to make it through.

My daughter ran a marathon without a lot of training. She made it through the middle portion by asking people alongside the road to cheer for her, and they did. But the last leg of the journey, it was a matter of one foot in front of the other, a dogged determination to make it through.

Tonight, Norm’s frustration reached a low, “Four more treatments…how am I going to make it?”

My response, “You will make it in the same way you’ve made it so far. People are praying. People are hoping for you to come through this totally healed. People are cheering you on to the completion of the treatment. The Lord has carried you this far, He will be with you throughout the treatment.”

He is resting peacefully now. I hope he sleeps through the night and awakens refreshed.

I am thankful that we are not facing this treatment alone, we have friends and family for encouragement all along the way.

I pray that the final treatments will do what they are intended to do, and that Norm will have the strength of body and mind to continue to fight to beat cancer.

I rejoice that, no matter how it looks, God has this.

Where is the joy? I can’t say I’ve seen much joy today, it’s been tough. The joy is found in trusting in God’s faithfulness, appearances are deceiving, but God remains faithful.

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might, He increases power.

Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary. Isaiah 40:28-31

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on December 24, 2024 by tricialathrop

December 23

The word for today is love. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him will have eternal life.” John 3:16.

Some of us grew up with the Monty Python view of God, a big foot dropping out of the sky to squish us no matter how hard we try. Some think that God looks for a reason to condemn us so that He can punish us. Some think God looks down on us from Heaven, without caring for us. Others think He doesn’t exist at all.

Jesus came to earth and presented God as a loving Father who cares for the people He created.

One thing Norm says he has learned through this ordeal is that God loves him. He has experienced love from his family, friends, and even people he does not know have reached out and pray for him by name. They do this without Norm having to do anything in return.

Before our children and grandchildren were born, they were loved. When they arrived, the first few weeks they were just eating and pooping machines…but they were loved just the same. They were loved before their first smile, their first word, or their first achievement.

I’ve met families with broken relationships, where the children ran away from their parents. I get it, some parents are mean and abusive. Some parents become addicted to drugs or alcohol and are bad parents. It’s not always the parent’s fault, sometimes, the child comes from a loving family, but makes bad choices.

God’s love transcends all human love. He loves even those who despise and deny Him. He loves the one who lives a sinful life as well as the one who tries to live a righteous life. He wants to be in relationship with each of us, and to that end, He sent Jesus Christ to earth.

For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him.

For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. And not only this, but we also exult in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have no received the reconciliation. Romans 5:6-11

I am thankful for God’s love that does not depend on my words or actions.

I pray for those in broken relationships, that forgiveness will be offered and received and that families will be reconciled.

I rejoice that God loves all people and desires that all come to a saving knowledge of Him.

Where’s the joy? Jesus came to earth so that I can have life.

And she gave birth to her firstborn son; and she wrapped Him in cloths, and laid Him in a manger because there was no room for them in the inn.

In the same region there were some shepherds staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock by night.

And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened.

But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among men with whom His is pleased.” Luke 2:7-14

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on December 23, 2024 by tricialathrop

December 21

For the next few days, I choose not to focus on my emotions and feelings, but focus instead on the reason we who follow Jesus Christ celebrate Christmas.

During the Advent season, each Sunday the church focuses on a different aspect involving the coming of Christ. The first week is hope, the second, Love, the third, joy, and the fourth focuses on peace. So I am going to begin with hope and finish this series on Christmas Day.

On this side of Christ’s birth, death and resurrection, we can look back on the prophesies and see how Christ fulfilled them. But before his birth and during the life of Jesus, there was confusion. He did not do what they expected. He did not take the lead in an army and drive out the Romans and establish the country of Judah as the premiere empire on earth.

His kingdom is not temporal, it is eternal. Its citizens required a sacrifice that no one in this world could provide. Jesus died and rose again to give the citizens of the eternal kingdom freedom from the punishment for sin, death, and gave them the ability to live forever…not in this world that suffers from decay, but with God in eternity.

Before Christ came to earth as a human being, prophets told of a coming King of kings, on whom the people in the first century focused. They also spoke of the Suffering Servant, the one who would be pierced for our iniquities, the Good Shepherd, who would guide his sheep, the Lamb of God who would take away the sins of the world.

We find the first mention of this provision in Genesis 3:14-15. The Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this (tempted Adam and Eve to eat the fruit of the forbidden tree), cursed are you more than all cattle, and more than every beast of the field; on your belly you will go, and dust you will eat all the days of your life; and I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her seed; He shall bruise you on the head, and you shall bruise Him on the heel.”

Adam and Eve chose to eat the forbidden fruit and it caused sin and sin’s punishment, death, to come into the world. But God did not leave the people hopeless…a child would be born one day that would defeat the power of death.

The book of Isaiah is full of promises about the first coming of Jesus Christ.

Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold a virgin will be with child and bear a son, and she will call His name Immanuel. Isaiah 7:14

Immanuel means “God with us”. The Son of God came and walked among us. He lived as a man, beginning as a baby, learning to talk and walk, growing, facing temptations that all people face.

And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14

Isaiah also speaks of his role on earth, that the kingdom to be established will be based in justice and righteousness.

For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us; and the governemet will rest on His shoulders; and His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace. There will be no end to the increase of His government or of peace, on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it with justice and righteousness from then on and forevermore. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will accomplish this. Isaiah 9:6-7

The kingdom that is based in righteousness and justice, that is yet to come. We live where we are subject to the laws of the land, and sometimes the people in power over us, do not care about us…just about their own agendas. But Christ came to be a leader for righteousness, a shepherd who really cares for his sheep.

The Spirit of the Lord will rest on Him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and strength, the spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord. And He will delight in the fear of the Lord, and He will not judge by what His eyes see, nor make a decision by what His ears hear; but with righteousness He will judge the poor, and decide with fairness for the afflicted of the earth; and He will strike the earth with the rod of His mouth, and with the breath of His lips He will slay the wicked. Also righteousness will be the belt about His loins, and faithfulness the belt about His waist.

And the wolf will dwell with the lamb, and the leopard will lie down with the young goat, and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little boy will lead them. Also the cow and the bear will graze, their young will lie down together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox. The nursing child will play by the hole of the cobra, and the weaned child will put his hand on the viper’s den. They will not hurt or destroy in all My holy mountain, for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea. Isaiah 11:2-9

Why did God choose to do it this way? Why have Jesus come, suffer and die, and then leave for thousands of years before establishing His kingdom?

I don’t know. But I have hope in a future where there will be no more pain, no more tears, and no more fears. This world is not my home, and I am a citizen of the heavenly kingdom, therefore I am called to live in this world as if in the next. Jesus laid out the character qualities of one who is a citizen in the kingdom of Heaven, the Beatitudes in Matthew 5.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God.

These are a good reminder of how I should live as I wait for the return of Jesus Christ.

I am thankful that the prophets were faithful to share the Good News that was to come, and for Luke who recorded the Nativity narrative.

I pray that all people will come to know the hope that is in Christ Jesus.

I rejoice that God always keeps His promises.

Where’s the joy? It is in the hope that comes from knowing that Jesus Christ sacrificed Himself, so that I could have eternal life with the Lord God, Creator of the universe.

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on December 20, 2024 by tricialathrop

December 19

Less than a week to Christmas. I had mixed emotions all day.

Being a caretaker is tiring. I remember Mom saying about Dad, he’s not difficult, but it’s the every day, every hour making sure he had what he needed.

Norm isn’t difficult, and he does more on his own than my dad did, but the constant need to be on guard for changes and to be aware of when he needs encouragement takes its toll. Norm lets me go out with friends and family, so I’m not housebound, but I am weary today. It’s been a rough two weeks.

I’m hoping for a much better week next week, so we can visit my niece in her new place for Christmas dinner.

I finally put up a few decorations, my heart is not into putting in the effort this year, only to take it down…

One of my favorite memories as a child was when I would wake before dawn Christmas morning and turn on the lights of the tree, sit on the register to stay warm, and enjoy the glow. I will put up a tree and its lights tomorrow…perhaps it will help.

I am thankful for the love and prayers of many family and friends.

I pray for those who are suffering from illness, loss of a loved one, and broken relationships…comfort and wisdom for all.

I rejoice that God remains faithful at all times in every way.

Though the fig tree should not blossom and there be no fruit on the vines, though the yield of the olive should fail and the fields produce no food, though the flock should be cut off from the fold and there be no cattle in the stalls, yet I will exult in the LORD, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength, and He has made my feet like hinds’ feet, and makes me walk on my high places. Habakkuk 3:17-19

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on December 19, 2024 by tricialathrop

December 18

Sad news, Tony passed into heaven this morning. Well, sad for his family and friends, a day of rejoicing for him because he is with the Lord Jesus and no longer in pain.

Death is brought to the forefront of my thoughts again. Once, I gave a speech on Jesus’ crucifixion, I began with, “Death, the Final Frontier”.

As Jesus hung on the cross, he experienced death and a separation from God for the very first time from eternity. He knew it would be difficult, and prayed for God to find another way to save people from their sins. In the end, He yielded to God’s plan.

We can have a lot of head knowledge, but the experience takes it to a new level. We will all face our own death at some point. On this side, we don’t have the experience, just some knowledge about how it happens. We only have faith as to what lies beyond, it is truly our final frontier.

The death of a loved one brings a grief that overwhelms us. We are somewhat sustained by the hope of a painless and joyful eternal life in the presence of the Lord.

As a follower of Jesus Christ, I believe that once this earthly body dies, it will be as if I go to sleep and wake in the presence of the Lord. Will that help me face death with more hope and less fear? I really don’t know.

I am thankful that Jesus came to earth to experience death for us, so that we live in heaven with the Lord forever.

I pray for Tony’s family as they deal with the loss of their loved one, that they will have the peace and comfort that only God can give.

I rejoice that we have the hope of eternal life.

Where’s the joy? God cared enough about each one of us, that He sent Jesus to suffer on the cross so that we could live forever with Him.

As Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up; so that whoever believes will in Him have eternal life. For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. John 3:14-16

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