Posts Tagged With: bible

Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on February 28, 2026 by tricialathrop

February 27

In August, 2024, while Norm experienced whole body itching, we didn’t know what was happening, Norm had a sense that he would die before April. When he said that, I denied it, not wanting to give voice to a death sentence. And I attributed it more to his tendency to be a hypochondriac…I was wrong.

During Covid, Norm began woodworking. He started with toys and puzzles for the grandkids, and moved on to creating furniture for me and the grands, including a climbing wall. As always, he learned quickly and became an excellent woodworker. Every room holds something he made.

Sensing he had limited time, he began to make a bed for our grandson Sawyer. More elaborate than the one he made for Sierra. This one would have three tiers, it looked cool. But he could only work for a short amount of time, and then would have to sit and rest. He wanted so much to get it done, but the cancer took over and he had no energy to complete what he’d begun. He stopped trying in October. In January, when he had hope of survival, he tried again, but it took energy he did not have.

In his final week, he asked our son Robert to finish the bed.

It’s been almost a year and the unfinished bed sits in our garage. Monday, Robert came and is working on the bed. This past year he’s been watching woodworking videos and studying how to complete it. He wants to honor Norm in this, and while it won’t be as elaborate as Norm had planned, it will be something for Sawyer to know how much his Poppop loved him.

I am so proud of Robert and the effort he is making, plus I’m enjoying his company this week. We went to play Scooby Doo Mini Golf in Pigeon Forge…it’s something Norm and I would have done, multiple times. Scooby Doo and mini golf, twice the fun.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for my children who have grown into wonderful caring adults. I can see Norm’s influence in who they have become.

I pray for their future, that they will seek the Lord all the days of their lives.

I rejoice that God gave me a good man to be my husband, and a wonderful father to our children.

Where’s the joy? It’s in the people that God has placed in my life.


If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away.
When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.
But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on December 3, 2025 by tricialathrop

December 2

Last year at this time, I began this post to deal with Norm’s cancer, hoping to focus on the positive and the joy of the season during a time of trial. It has been and continues to be therapeutic for me. I can share things here that I don’t share in person.

Today, I pondered why I am more open on this site than in person. I discovered it is because I can cry freely while I write. Then I wondered why I don’t cry with people…oh tears come and they fall, but I don’t allow myself to sob and weep.

I realized that I don’t cry because as a child, I cried a lot. Siblings and acquaintances called me “Cry Baby”. I learned to control the tears. They might well up in my eyes, but I would not let them fall. Norm’s death opened those gates, I still don’t allow the sobbing, but the tears will sometimes fall unbidden in the presence of others.

What am I going to do with this insight into my responses? Don’t know.

Tomorrow is my birthday, my first without Norm. He was always really good about doing something special with me. Whether a show or visiting a special site, he was good at coming up with something I’d enjoy. But, he’s not here.

I will be busy tomorrow, a brunch with my Bible study ladies, taking a friend to her doctor, and to end the day, a steak dinner with my sister and nieces and nephews which will be fun. When I’m not out doing, I’ll be putting out my Christmas decorations.

My birthday is usually the day I begin to think about goals for the next year and finding a Bible verse to focus on. One year the verse was to give thanks in everything…I felt like I fell short. Then the next year, it was “Rejoice always”… it was a tough year. My son Robert had a heart ablation, and later was diagnosed with Addison’s disease, Norm and I had some issues which needed work, and my best friend and I had a falling out…rejoicing didn’t happen much that year, but focusing on the call to rejoice allowed me to focus on giving thanks.

2025 began with a struggle to get Norm through chemo therapy and then healing, and after his death it became a matter of just living day to day without him in my life. I’ve seen the faithfulness of God throughout Norm’s cancer fight and my widowhood. Not anything we would have chosen, but God never promised a freedom from suffering, He promises to walk through it with us, bringing the encouragement we need to live each day. And with His presence, in the midst of all of this, God has given me moments of joy that cannot be explained.

I will lift up my eyes to the mountains
From where shall my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.
He will not allow your foot to slip;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel
Will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade on your right hand.
The sun will not smite you by day,
Nor the moon by night.
The Lord will protect you from all evil;
He will keep your soul.
The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in
From this time forth and forever.

Psalm 121:1–8

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the reminder each Christmas of the coming of Jesus Christ, who came because God loved us and wants us to live in harmony with Him and with one another.

I pray for wisdom and courage to speak and act in order to bless the people around me.

I rejoice in the God of my salvation who always gives me hope.

Where’s the joy? It is found only in God who is my helper, my protector, and the keeper of my soul.

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on April 4, 2025 by tricialathrop

April 3

We are coming up on a month since Norm passed. The celebration of life is completed. Aimee left two precious joys with me for a few days. They are keeping me busy.

Last night, Sawyer awoke, crying for his mommy. At first I tried to soothe him, but then I just joined him in the tears. How will I do this?

I have a number of widow friends, encouraging me…by just telling me they are praying. They’ve walked this path, some of them a couple of times. The only path is through the grief, embracing the love that grief reveals, and loving those who are still walking this earthly road.

At one point during Norm’s cancer and treatment, he said, “Everything has been taken away from me…except love. I still have God’s love, the love of my wife and children, the love of family and friends. The love they have for me does not depend on what I can do for them. Right now, I can do nothing except be a burden and they still love me.”

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him.

In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us.
By this we know that we abide in Him and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit.

We have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son to be the Savior of the world.
Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God.

We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.
By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.
We love, because He first loved us.

If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.
And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also.

1 John 4:7–21

Where is the joy?

I am thankful for my family and friends who continue to encourage me in this walk.

I pray for the strength and wisdom to show love to others, not only by my words but by my actions.

I rejoice that God loved us and sent Jesus Christ to enable us to enter into God’s presence without fear.

Where is the joy? It is in the love of family and friends who are there in the good times and the bad.

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on March 26, 2025 by tricialathrop

March 25

I finally got through to Norm’s pension plan. I’ve tried to call for over a week and kept getting a busy signal. I found a number on one of the letters he had received, they gave me the number I needed. So I think I’m set, I’ll know if it all went through in a few weeks.

Then while doing taxes, I found that I needed a form from a financial company. They said click on this link to get the form. I needed an account number and a password, which I could not find. I called the number on the site. Since I didn’t have the required information, they said I needed to email another group for them to get permission to give me the form I needed…and that group said they no longer handled that particular financial issue. So…what to do?

I’ve handled our finances for quite a while. In fact, I was trying to make sure Norm knew where all the accounts and numbers and passwords were located. I thought I had what I needed for Norm’s accounts, but no. Suggestion for those of you with a spouse, make sure there is a copy of all your accounts and all passwords in a place that your spouse can find and that you have the same from your spouse.

As I deal with the financial aspect of Norm’s passing, this Saturday we will have a celebration of his life. I went through his memory box and found some high school memorabilia and some of his award photos and a newspaper article about him. I need to figure out the best way to display those…but there are a few things missing from his college days. I’ll have to see if there is another box somewhere.

It’s been a busy day, some success, some failures. Tears come at unexpected times. I miss Norm’s presence. I miss his wisdom. I know he’s in a better place, doesn’t make me miss him any less.

Where’s the joy? Not in paperwork…

I am thankful that I finally got through to Norm’s pension.

I pray for wisdom as I plan the service for Saturday, that it will honor the Lord, and celebrate the life Norm led.

I rejoice that God knows what I need and has it all under control.

For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?

Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?

And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?

And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!

Do not worry then, saying, “What will we eat?” or “What will we drink?” or “What will we wear for clothing?” For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your Heavenly Father knows that you need these things.

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:25-34

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on March 21, 2025 by tricialathrop

I’m a widow. In just one day I changed my demographic, no longer married…a widow.

It’s not like I’m going to run around and tell people, “I’m a widow now”. I will comment about my husband, sharing stories of our life together. But for the rest of my life on those forms we fill out ad nauseam, I will have to mark “widow”.

For some reason this realization is hitting me hard. It’s weird. It identifies me as someone who was once married, but is no longer because of death. And I’m not sure how to deal with it.

The term, widow, draws up images of “Gone With the Wind” and the Scarlett dancing in her widow’s garb. In the English movies, the widow is either a scheming bitter woman who speaks poorly about everyone, or a senseless dowager who needs constant watching.

There are some widows in the Bible. Naomi, who called herself Mara, because of bitterness, but had the grace to find provision for her widowed daughter-in-law Ruth.

The widow of Naan, for whom Jesus raised her son to life. In those days children took care of their widowed mothers and if she didn’t have that protection, she could be reduced to begging. Jesus gave her not only her son, but her provision.

Anna dwelled in the temple for 70 years as a widow, and gave witness to Jesus Christ as the Messiah alongside Simeon.

Jesus praised the widow, who in her need, gave all she had to the Lord.

The only non-widow in the women mentioned in Jesus’ genealogy was Mary, his mother. But by the time Jesus began his ministry, she was a widow.

The prophets criticized the leaders of Israel for not taking care of the widows or orphans and not hearing their causes. Jesus commented that the leadership of his day “devoured” widows houses (Mark 12:40). James tells us that caring for widows and orphans in their affliction is a part of pure and undefiled religion.

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. James 1:27

In America today, most widows are not as reliant on their children as in the past. Most have Social Security or a pension, either from their own job or their husband’s. Of course, this does not apply to all widows, some do need to rely on their children or the state for their provision and care.

Now that I am a widow, I see that I didn’t see the needs of the widows, not that I ignored them or didn’t help…I just wasn’t aware of some needs.

1 Timothy 5 gives some guidelines for caring for widows. The first responsibility falls to the family, children and grandchildren. Then it falls to the church. Younger widows were encouraged to remarry.

There are cautions mentioned: don’t be idle, don’t go from house to house just being idle, don’t become gossips or busybodies talking about things not worth mentioning. (1 Timothy 5:13)

As a widow, I am to fix my hope on God and continue in entreaties and prayers. I am to be devoted good works, showing hospitality to strangers, assisting those in distress, serving the Lord in the church, teaching the young women…all the things I should have been doing all along…

Paul also has guidelines for the widows and the single women. As an unmarried woman now, I can focus more on the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit.

The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 1 Corinthians 7:24

I am a widow, and in that role I have some responsibilities before the Lord. It should be interesting to see where this path takes me.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the people who have rallied around me during this time of grieving and readjustment.

I pray for wisdom and courage to walk in the path that the Lord has set before me.

I rejoice that God cares for those who are needy and somewhat helpless, so much so that he calls his people to care for the broken and hurting.

Where’s the joy? The Lord continues to have a purpose for my life and will reveal his plan as I seek His face.

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on March 15, 2025 by tricialathrop

March 14

I went through some of Norm’s items. I’m finally unpacking what I brought home from the hospital. It reminded me of what a roller coaster the last five weeks have been. It not only held items for his hospital stay, but also clothes for him to wear when he came home.

Sometimes, it’s as if he’s just away on one of his camping trips, at any minute he could walk through the door…but then, the reality of his being gone hits. Lunch with a friend and a few card games with my nephew provided some distraction, but the reality is always with me.

The memories are all good. I know there were times Norm frustrated me, but what I wouldn’t give to have him back, even on the most frustrating of days.

I’m preparing for his Celebration of his life. I love looking at it that way instead of as a memorial or funeral. He blessed a lot of people. His photos took people to places they could not go on their own. His storytelling never failed to entertain. He could talk to anyone about pretty much anything, his knowledge covered a number of topics.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the extra four months with Norm that the Lord gave to me through the effort of several doctors.

I pray for wisdom and courage as I walk this path.

I rejoice that God gives us memories to enjoy and to share with others.

Where’s the joy? It’s in sharing the stories, not only of Norm, but of what God has done.

Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips will praise You. So I will bless You as long as I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name.

My soul is satisfied as with marrow and fatness, and my mouth offers praises with joyful lips.

When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches, for You have been my help, and in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy.

My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me.

Psalm 63:3-8

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on March 3, 2025 by tricialathrop

March 1

Today–emotional overload. I’ve reached my limit.

They did the preliminaries to take Norm off the ventilator, which means they reduce the sedation, giving him an opportunity to breathe on his own and making him aware of his surroundings.

He writhed against the restraints. His eyes bulged in fear as he looked at me, begging for me to help, no words, but in feeble sounds. That episode is seared onto my brain.

I stood helplessly as his O2 level dropped to far and it seemed he would go into cardiac arrest. They sedated him again to try later.

I can’t do this again. I cried because of his pain and fear. I cried because I am not strong enough to stay with him through this trial.

They kept him quiet the rest of the day and will try again tomorrow.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful that the nurses and doctors know how far to push before calling it quits, allowing his body to rest for another try.

I pray for strength to be with Norm, in prayer if not physically present.

I rejoice that there is still hope.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters.

He restores my soul; He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows.

Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalm 23

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on March 1, 2025 by tricialathrop

February 28

Today was to be Norm’s last chemo treatment, but here we are in the ICU, intubated. Disappointing that we were so close. He seems to get better then crashes. Do close and yet so far.

He has a breathing tube, a feeding tube and all kinds of IVs with antibiotics and antifungals as well as an artery monitor to keep closer tabs on BP and oxygen levels. His neck is swollen and he continues to sleep, I’m hoping he has pleasant dreams. His oxygen levels continue to fluctuate.

This is painful to watch. I’ve played his music all day, hoping to give him some encouragement in music. I talk to him, just in case he can hear me and knows he is loved.

They did another bronchial analysis, hoping for answers. I don’t know what they might find that they haven’t before.

The way I see it, the only way he is pulling through is if the Lord reaches down another time and heals his body. Of real concern, his lungs, we don’t know how much they have been damaged, if at all.

If he lives through this, will he be able to hike again? Will he be willing to go to scenic overlooks and be in a wheelchair to get some photographs? Will he be able to continue with woodworking, and finish Sawyer’s bed? Will he be able to continue with his chemotherapy and be fully healed head to toe?

I’m still just walking each day, one step in front of the other, doing what needs to be done and trying to get the rest I need so I can continue each day.

I don’t know what each day will bring, but God does. I know He wants God’s best for Norm.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the staff that is taking such good care of Norm with a good attitude.

I pray for the Lord to do what is best for Norm, a miracle healing is my preference, BUT only God knows what is truly best.

I rejoice that…to be honest, I’m not rejoicing. BUT I know that God remains faithful and He is at work in Norm’s life and in mine.

Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen. 1 Timothy 1:17

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on February 28, 2025 by tricialathrop

February 27

When I left Norm at the hospital last night he was joking with the nurses and doctors. He still had some trouble breathing, but seemed to be on the mend.

A phone call this am had Rob and I trying to get to the hospital quickly. Tons of equipment sat outside his room. I entered the room, my eyes on Norm, restrained and struggling with the tube down his throat.

He opened his eyes, will and frightened. I tried to reassure him. Tears ran down his cheeks. I told him I loved him, and I would be with him. They gave him more sedative and he slept.

ICU again…this one is more pleasant for the family. More room, a comfortable couch where I will sleep.

I will say this about the staff at University of Tennessee Medical Center, they have been awesome. This is our fifth crew of this hospital visit and they have all given Norm excellent tender care.

I’ve been telling the nurses about his hiking and photography adventures, since he cannot share. It’s hard to watch him be like this.

Still no answers. More tests to come. He’s resting comfortably, probably the best sleep he’s had in six months.

Where’s the joy? Actually, lots of tears today.

I am thankful for the considerate, tender care of the staff at UT.

I pray that the Lord intervenes and heals Norm completely, another eleventh hour miracle would be great.

I rejoice that the Lord God of the universe has a plan for Norm. I will trust Him.

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory.

Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I lift up my hands. Psalm 63:1-4

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on February 27, 2025 by tricialathrop

February 26

Here we go again!

Today, Norm’s oxygen numbers dropped very low and they had a hard time getting him to stabilize. So another early trip to the hospital, afraid of what I would find.

But what started off really terrible, it ended up being the best day he’s had in weeks. They addressed those things that caused him stress. The music therapy lady came to visit. A good friend of his came to visit. He ate better than he has in days.

When I left, he was happy, joking and making the best of still being in the hospital.

I realized something today. I’ve been pushing through each day, doing what needed to be done…step after step. It is the prayers and support of the people in my life who have kept me going…doing for me what I cannot do for myself as I focus on Norm and his health. I am truly blessed.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the prayers and emotional support of those around me.

I pray for the ability to be a blessing to those with whom I come in contact throughout this struggle.

I rejoice that God has placed people in my life who are supporting me and lifting Norm and I continually in prayer.

Where’s the joy? Friends and family walking alongside. How sad it would be to walk this road alone.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!

Again if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?

And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him–a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

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