Posts Tagged With: sorrow

Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on June 17, 2025 by tricialathrop

June 16

Yesterday we scattered Norm’s ashes at Water Rock Knob on the Blue Ridge Parkway. Norm enjoyed the drive on that road. Pre cancer, he would go every couple of weeks to hike and take pictures. It seemed appropriate to spread his ashes where he loved to be.

We arrived shortly after sunrise, but there was no view due to the early morning fog and mist. While a spectacular view would have been nice, a misty day fit my heart. And Norm never minded the fog, he could find something to photograph and make it look awesome.

It was harder than I expected…even though I’m not sure what I expected. It felt final. I don’t know how to deal with that feeling.

My children, Jennifer, Aimee and Robert came along with my grandchildren, Sierra and Sawyer and Jennifer’s boyfriend, Ideen. His brother Brian came. My sister came with her boyfriend, Jim. All of them had a special relationship with Norm.

After the emotional morning, we went out for breakfast, Norm’s favorite eat out meal. Then we went to play miniature golf, our family tradition at all events, followed by ice cream. Great memories.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the life of love and joy that I had with Norm. He was a great husband and friend.

I pray for wisdom as I continue to walk this path I would not have chosen.

I rejoice that Norm touched so many lives with his unique view of life, his stories and his photos.

Where’s the joy? This week it is all in the memories.

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on May 12, 2025 by tricialathrop

May 12

Yesterday was a tough day. I missed the father of my children. I face-timed with the kids. My nephews and sister went out to lunch with me. All good things, and I had a good day.

Norm and I would have gone out for lunch and then probably driven along the Foothills Parkway. A holiday really brings home the loss…10 more months of holiday firsts without Norm. The sorrow overwhelms me and the tears fall freely.

Those who have walked this road before me say it gets better…

Who has believed our message? And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed? 

For He grew up before Him like a tender shoot, And like a root out of parched ground; He has no stately form or majesty That we should look upon Him, Nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him. 

He was despised and forsaken of men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; And like one from whom men hide their face He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. 

Surely our griefs He Himself bore, And our sorrows He carried; Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, Smitten of God, and afflicted. 

But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, And by His scourging we are healed. 

All of us like sheep have gone astray, Each of us has turned to his own way; But the Lord has caused the iniquity of us all To fall on Him. 

He was oppressed and He was afflicted, Yet He did not open His mouth; Like a lamb that is led to slaughter, And like a sheep that is silent before its shearers, So He did not open His mouth. 

By oppression and judgment He was taken away; And as for His generation, who considered That He was cut off out of the land of the living For the transgression of my people, to whom the stroke was due? 

His grave was assigned with wicked men, Yet He was with a rich man in His death, Because He had done no violence, Nor was there any deceit in His mouth. 

But the Lord was pleased To crush Him, putting Him to grief; If He would render Himself as a guilt offering, He will see His offspring, He will prolong His days, And the good pleasure of the Lord will prosper in His hand. 

As a result of the anguish of His soul, He will see it and be satisfied; By His knowledge the Righteous One, My Servant, will justify the many, As He will bear their iniquities. 

Therefore, I will allot Him a portion with the great, And He will divide the booty with the strong; Because He poured out Himself to death, And was numbered with the transgressors; Yet He Himself bore the sin of many, And interceded for the transgressors. 

Isaiah 53:1–12.

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on April 18, 2025 by tricialathrop

April 17

Tough week. The reality of Norm’s death hits me everyday. My friends who are widows say that it will get better…they know…they’ve been there.

I’ve started a new Bible study on hope because right now, hope is my lifeline. My hope is in God, who is my salvation. Tomorrow we celebrate, actually we remember the death of Christ on the cross. He took all our sins and all our sorrows, dying and paying the penalty for our sins and rejection of the creator God. Sunday, we celebrate His resurrection. He came to give us life, eternal life.

Because of what Christ did on the cross…I have hope. Hope that God will guide me while I remain here on earth, hope that I will see Norm again when I go to walk with God in the garden.

I read Psalm 42 today.

As the deer pants for the streams of water, so my soul pants for You, O God.

Our spiritual self needs God in our lives, just as our physical self needs water. Sometimes dehydration sneaks up on us, we aren’t aware of how thirsty we are, but there will come a time when the thirst cannot be denied.

My soul thirsts for God, for the Living God. When can I go to meet with God?

God hears our prayers, He is the Living God who actively hears and sees us. he is always present even when we do not sense Him in our lives. Norm is walking with God, fully aware of who God is and how much God loves.

My tears have been my food, day and night, while men say to me, “Where is your God?”

It’s true, my tears fall down my cheeks, often unbidden, but there all the same. I’m never sure when they will overflow.

I don’t have anyone asking about God’s presence in my life. Indeed, I have a lot of encouragement from others of God’s faithfulness.

These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go with the multitudes, leading the procession to the house of God, with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng.

Songs of joy and festivity are not a part of my worship. Instead the worship songs bring tears to my eyes that pour down my cheeks.

Why are you downcast, o my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in god, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.

Ecclesiastes 3:4 says there is a time to weep and a time to mourn. I’m in a time of weeping that will not last forever. There will be a time when the memory brings a smile, not tears. There will be a time when the songs I sing to the Lord will be joyful, not full of sorrow. There will be a time when the pain of loss will be wrapped and sealed, occasionally breaking out with a new wave of pain, only to be resealed by love and good memories.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the 44 years I had with Norm, and I’m thankful that I miss him, it reveals he meant a lot to me.

I pray for grace as I take the time to grieve my loss.

I rejoice that Jesus Christ came to earth as a man, to die on the cross so that I can have hope in the resurrection which leads to eternal life.

Where’s the joy? My joy is in the Lord…even when the tears fall.

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on April 12, 2025 by tricialathrop

April 11

This is tough. I know I’ve said that before, and I knew it would be hard…but wow! It’s as if a part of me is missing. I took Norm’s presence for granted…his encouragements, his jokes, even the things that aggravated me…what I wouldn’t give for one more day…

The last two days I’ve done what was necessary, nothing more. The tears come at unexpected times.

I think I’ve contacted everyone I need to regarding Norm’s passing. There are still a few calls for subscriptions and credit cards, but those are not essential. I’m waiting for a few more papers that will need to be filled out, and copies of the death certificate sent.

Bills are coming in from his hospital stays and treatments. Norm always said that a person’s medical expenses are higher at the end of life than for all the years before. I don’t know how someone manages to pay those bills without insurance. I know a mega bill for the hospital stay is yet to come. I spoke to the insurance and a number of the bills are still under evaluation as to how much they will pay.

I don’t know if taking care of the details right after a death is a blessing or a curse. On one hand, it takes the focus off the loss, providing an activity that gives a momentary escape from grieving. On the other hand, the frustration of having to act quickly, finding phone numbers and filling out papers takes the focus off the loss making it difficult to grieve.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful that we have insurance, it doesn’t pay all, but it does pay some and every little bit helps.

I pray for wisdom and guidance as I walk the path before me.

I rejoice that God has all this in His hand. He knows my future. He knows every struggle that will come my way. He knows that I will have successes and failures. He has a plan for my life that is far better than I can see at this time.

Remember my affliction and my wandering, the wormwood and bitterness. Surely my soul remembers and is bowed down within me.

This I recall to miming, therefore I have hope. The Lord’s loving kindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail.

They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I have hope in Him.”

The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him. It is good that he waits silently for the salvation of the Lord.

Lamentation 3:19-26

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on April 4, 2025 by tricialathrop

April 3

We are coming up on a month since Norm passed. The celebration of life is completed. Aimee left two precious joys with me for a few days. They are keeping me busy.

Last night, Sawyer awoke, crying for his mommy. At first I tried to soothe him, but then I just joined him in the tears. How will I do this?

I have a number of widow friends, encouraging me…by just telling me they are praying. They’ve walked this path, some of them a couple of times. The only path is through the grief, embracing the love that grief reveals, and loving those who are still walking this earthly road.

At one point during Norm’s cancer and treatment, he said, “Everything has been taken away from me…except love. I still have God’s love, the love of my wife and children, the love of family and friends. The love they have for me does not depend on what I can do for them. Right now, I can do nothing except be a burden and they still love me.”

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him.

In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us.
By this we know that we abide in Him and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit.

We have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son to be the Savior of the world.
Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God.

We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.
By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.
We love, because He first loved us.

If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.
And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also.

1 John 4:7–21

Where is the joy?

I am thankful for my family and friends who continue to encourage me in this walk.

I pray for the strength and wisdom to show love to others, not only by my words but by my actions.

I rejoice that God loved us and sent Jesus Christ to enable us to enter into God’s presence without fear.

Where is the joy? It is in the love of family and friends who are there in the good times and the bad.

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