Posts Tagged With: joy

Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on December 21, 2025 by tricialathrop

December 20

This week has been a mixed bag of emotions. Good memories and sorrow as I go to events Norm and I used to attend together. The people around me are very aware that this is a difficult season, the first Christmas without Norm.

I’ll be with my kids and my grandchildren this week. I’m sure there will be fun times and probably some tears. And we will be together.

I am thankful for the people around me who surround me with encouragement and support.

I pray for the joy of Christmas to outweigh the grief.

I rejoice that Jesus Christ loved us enough to come to earth and live life as a human, so He can identify with us in our sorrow and grief.

Where’s the joy? It’s in the gift of God’s son.

O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly;
My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You,
In a dry and weary land where there is no water.
Thus I have seen You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory.
Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips will praise You.
So I will bless You as long as I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
My soul is satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth offers praises with joyful lips.
When I remember You on my bed,
I meditate on You in the night watches,
For You have been my help,
And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy.
My soul clings to You;
Your right hand upholds me.

Psalm 63:1-8

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on December 11, 2025 by tricialathrop

December 11

I dreamt about Norm last night. Some people have dreams of their departed loved ones where they have a wonderful heart to heart or assurances…good things. But in my dreams he’s either sick, angry or very disappointed in me…last night he was disappointed in some decisions I made.

The dream may have come as a result of a conversation I had. Yesterday a friend, who is also a widow, and I discussed the deaths of our husbands. There are times I ponder if I could have done something different to change the outcome…not uncommon with the death of a loved one.

Both of our husbands had a similar statement as they suffered through the treatment and the pain of cancer. Each commented, “Through this experience, I know now that I am loved. I know God loves me. I know my wife loves me. I know my children love me.” Not the exact words, but you get the gist.

My thoughts upon hearing him say that, “Did he not know how much I loved him?”

Was the dream a result of my own insecurities? Was it representative of his personality change due to the cancer? Was it a result of guilt that I could have done something differently?

I don’t know the why of the dream. Our minds process life in a variety of ways, and I believe it can be through dreams. This dream was more disturbing than helpful. I’ve cried a lot today.

When days like this happen, it causes me to go back to trust. Do I believe that God is in ultimate control? Do I believe that God has a time for each of us and when we our work is done here, He takes us home to be with Him? Do I believe it was Norm’s time to go and I could not change the outcome no matter what I did? Do I believe God has something good planned for the rest of my life?

“For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

When people use this verse to speak about the blessings of God, I usually remind them that God said this just before the people of Israel went into exile in Babylon for 70 years. God doesn’t give us freedom from pain and trouble, He provides hope in the middle of the pain and trouble. Pain and sorrow come to all of us, God remains faithful through it all.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for God’s comfort in the midst of my sorrow.

I pray for wisdom as I speak with others about the hope that is found in Christ.

I rejoice in the coming of Jesus Christ, who opens the door for all of us to have a loving relationship with the God of the universe.

Where’s the joy? It’s found in the hope that God provides every day.

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on December 6, 2025 by tricialathrop

December 6

I’ve been trying to put up Christmas decorations. It’s more difficult than I thought. Lots of memories with ornaments from all our travels, nativities he has made or we bought on our travels or at the various craft fairs we’ve attended.

I attended the Christmas Carol the other day. My daughter Jenn and my sister Deb went with me. It’s a tradition that Norm and I began in New York at Proctor’s in Schenectady. When we moved to Tennessee, our first year we discovered a yearly production at Clarance Brown Theater. It’s not the first I’ve attended this program without him, last year, he was in the hospital so some family members joined me. But I expected he’d be able to join me this year.

This weekend I’ll be going to Biltmore for their Christmas display…another tradition with Norm. We would often go to Newport, RI for Christmas at the mansions there. I’ll have family with me, but it will be bitter sweet.

There are more events coming up for the season, one’s that I’ve shared with Norm or that he’s encouraged me to do. I’m walking one step at a time and entering each day as it comes. God is faithful!

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for these events that allow me to focus on the joy of the season, and remember some joyful times that Norm and I shared.

I pray for my friends who like me, are facing this season after the loss of a loved one. We can rest in the hope that Jesus Christ brought with his birth, they are rejoicing in heaven with the Lord.

I rejoice in the hope that came with the coming of the Messiah, and the promise that He will always be with us.

Where’s the joy? Joy to the World, the Lord has come.

Jesus’ Birth in Bethlehem
Now in those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus, that a census be taken of all the inhabited earth. This was the first census taken while Quirinius was governor of Syria.
And everyone was on his way to register for the census, each to his own city.
Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, in order to register along with Mary, who was engaged to him, and was with child.
While they were there, the days were completed for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son; and she wrapped Him in cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
In the same region there were some shepherds staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened.
But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.
“This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”
And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased.”
When the angels had gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds began saying to one another, “Let us go straight to Bethlehem then, and see this thing that has happened which the Lord has made known to us.”
So they came in a hurry and found their way to Mary and Joseph, and the baby as He lay in the manger.
When they had seen this, they made known the statement which had been told them about this Child. And all who heard it wondered at the things which were told them by the shepherds.
But Mary treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart.
The shepherds went back, glorifying and praising God for all that they had heard and seen, just as had been told them.

Luke 2:1–20

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on December 3, 2025 by tricialathrop

December 2

Last year at this time, I began this post to deal with Norm’s cancer, hoping to focus on the positive and the joy of the season during a time of trial. It has been and continues to be therapeutic for me. I can share things here that I don’t share in person.

Today, I pondered why I am more open on this site than in person. I discovered it is because I can cry freely while I write. Then I wondered why I don’t cry with people…oh tears come and they fall, but I don’t allow myself to sob and weep.

I realized that I don’t cry because as a child, I cried a lot. Siblings and acquaintances called me “Cry Baby”. I learned to control the tears. They might well up in my eyes, but I would not let them fall. Norm’s death opened those gates, I still don’t allow the sobbing, but the tears will sometimes fall unbidden in the presence of others.

What am I going to do with this insight into my responses? Don’t know.

Tomorrow is my birthday, my first without Norm. He was always really good about doing something special with me. Whether a show or visiting a special site, he was good at coming up with something I’d enjoy. But, he’s not here.

I will be busy tomorrow, a brunch with my Bible study ladies, taking a friend to her doctor, and to end the day, a steak dinner with my sister and nieces and nephews which will be fun. When I’m not out doing, I’ll be putting out my Christmas decorations.

My birthday is usually the day I begin to think about goals for the next year and finding a Bible verse to focus on. One year the verse was to give thanks in everything…I felt like I fell short. Then the next year, it was “Rejoice always”… it was a tough year. My son Robert had a heart ablation, and later was diagnosed with Addison’s disease, Norm and I had some issues which needed work, and my best friend and I had a falling out…rejoicing didn’t happen much that year, but focusing on the call to rejoice allowed me to focus on giving thanks.

2025 began with a struggle to get Norm through chemo therapy and then healing, and after his death it became a matter of just living day to day without him in my life. I’ve seen the faithfulness of God throughout Norm’s cancer fight and my widowhood. Not anything we would have chosen, but God never promised a freedom from suffering, He promises to walk through it with us, bringing the encouragement we need to live each day. And with His presence, in the midst of all of this, God has given me moments of joy that cannot be explained.

I will lift up my eyes to the mountains
From where shall my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.
He will not allow your foot to slip;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel
Will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade on your right hand.
The sun will not smite you by day,
Nor the moon by night.
The Lord will protect you from all evil;
He will keep your soul.
The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in
From this time forth and forever.

Psalm 121:1–8

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the reminder each Christmas of the coming of Jesus Christ, who came because God loved us and wants us to live in harmony with Him and with one another.

I pray for wisdom and courage to speak and act in order to bless the people around me.

I rejoice in the God of my salvation who always gives me hope.

Where’s the joy? It is found only in God who is my helper, my protector, and the keeper of my soul.

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on November 27, 2025 by tricialathrop

Thanksgiving

Last year, we spent Thanksgiving at home, and some family came over, bringing us some turkey and Thanksgiving fixings. Who knew it would be the last Norm and I had together?

I have plans today. I’ll go to the home of my niece, Kimberly. My brother with his wife and my sister will also attend, my nieces and their kids, and my daughter, Jenn is coming in. We’ll have a good time. I’m taking cookies for the kids to decorate…and likely make a big mess. It will be fun.

People ask how I am, and it varies from day to day…it varies throughout the day. I can be doing well and see or hear something that brings tears to my eyes. Last week I went to WDW with my sisters, and the simple fact that they spoke to their husbands every morning brought me to tears. I miss being able to share my life with Norm.

But today is a day to focus on the blessings.

Norm is in a better place, at total peace in the presence of the Lord.

Insurance has been great about paying for his hospital bills.

Norm left me with enough financial security that I don’t have to sell the house and move in with my kids. They are thankful for that too, they don’t have to worry about that.

Getting together with my kids and grandkids is always a joy. We laugh a lot, and the memories are sweet.

I am thankful for my siblings and for Norm’s brother and sister. They are an encouragement.

Friends have continued to keep in touch. Many have let me know that they are praying for me especially now because it is the first Thanksgiving without Norm.

I’m in good health and able to continue to get out and experience life.

Most of all, I am thankful for the hope I have in Jesus Christ. Not only do I have the eternal hope of heaven, but He gives me joy to celebrate each day. God is good, His mercy endures for ever and ever.

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
Give thanks to the God of gods,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
Give thanks to the Lord of lords,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
To Him who alone does great wonders,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting;
To Him who made the heavens with skill,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting;
To Him who spread out the earth above the waters,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting;
To Him who made the great lights,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting:
The sun to rule by day,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting,
The moon and stars to rule by night,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting.

Psalm 136:1–9

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on November 17, 2025 by tricialathrop

November 16

The main thing I can say about being a widow, one never knows what each day will bring. Some days are filled with emotional stress, other days are pretty calm.

Today? A calm day…no emotional upheaval. Tomorrow? Who knows?

I’m taking each day as it comes. The future, while unknown to me, rests in the hands of God. I can trust Him to take care of me, to provide all that I need and to give me some things I want.

I know that I can fall so easily into self-pity, and the hope is that I will not stay in that mindset when it comes. A change of focus, a desire not to dwell in the dumps…and most of all, a God who is faithful.

I am thankful for these days of grace where I can focus on the positive and step away from the sorrow.

I pray for the wisdom and courage to choose life and joy each day.

I rejoice in God who loves me and will guide me along the way.

Where’s the joy? It comes regardless of my situation through Jesus Christ.

Seek the Lord while He may be found; call upon Him while He is near.

let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteousness man his thoughts, and let him return to the Lord, and He will have compassion on him, and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.”

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return there without watering the earth and making it bear and sprout, and furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater; so will My word be which goes forth from My mouth; it will not return to Me empty, without accomplishing what I desire, and without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it.”

“For you will go out with joy and be led forth with peace; the mountains and the hills will break forth into shouts of joy before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.”

Isaiah 55:6-12

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on November 14, 2025 by tricialathrop

November 13

Walking this path has its challenges. Some days are easier than others, I get up and out, meet with friends, accomplish things. And then other days, I get up and spend it alone, sometimes getting things done, sometimes I finish the day having nothing to show for it.

I thought I had come out of the fog, but it’s still around me. I struggle to focus on anything. I do what must be done…and some things become less essential as the day progresses.

I miss Norm. There’s a hole in my life. He was my biggest cheerleader and encourager in the ventures I took on. I didn’t realize how much I relied on his ever present support. I miss his wise suggestions. I miss having someone who listened to my ideas and asked the right questions. I miss making plans for our next adventure. I miss watching him play with Sierra and Sawyer.

Even though it’s still hard to reach out in the pain, I know that God has provided friends and family to come alongside and encourage and support me.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the almost 45 years I had with Norm, the memories are good.

I pray for guidance in this walk, that I will be able to reach out not only for help, but also to be an encouragement to others.

I rejoice in the God of my salvation who loves me no matter what and will be with me every step of the way.

Where’s the joy? Tough thought today, yesterday in our Bible study we discussed the need to respond, not react. We can’t change our situation, but we can change our attitude.

This is the Psalm I read this morning, it helped to adjust my attitude.

Bless the Lord, o my soul, And all that is within me, bless His holy name.

Bless the Lord, o my soul, and forget none of His benefits; Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases; Who redeems your life from the pit, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion; Who satisfies your years with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle.

The Lord performs righteous deed and judgements for all who are oppressed.

He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the sons of Israel.

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.

He will not always strive with us, nor will He keep His anger forever.

He has not dealt with us according to our sin, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.

Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him. For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.

As for man, his days are like grass; as a flower of the field, so he flourishes. When the wind has passed over it, it is no more, and its place acknowledges it no longer.

But the lovingkindness of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children’s children, to those who keep His covenant and remember His precepts to do them.

The Lord has established His throne in the heavens, and His sovereignty rules over all.

Bless the Lord, you His angels, mighty in strength, who perform His word, obeying the voice of His word!

Bless the Lord, all you His hosts, you who serve Him, doing His will.

Bless the Lord, all you works of His, in all places of His dominion;

Bless the Lord, O my soul!

Psalm 103

I can choose every day to praise the Lord regardless of how I feel or what comes my way.

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on November 10, 2025 by tricialathrop

November 9

Yesterday, I went with some friends to ride a pontoon boat on Tellico Lake and Tellico River. The day was beautiful, not too hot or cold, and the colors while a little past peak color, radiated with oranges and yellows.

Last year we planned to join Dan and Donna on a boat to take in the colors of the season, pre-diagnosis. Unfortunately, Norm just did not feel well and we had to cancel.

So being on the boat was a bitter-sweet experience. I enjoyed the day and the fellowship, I felt sorrow that Norm and I did not share the experience together. He would have enjoyed the day on the water and his photos would have been fantastic.

Today, still in a…not sure how to describe my mood…not really sad or pensive, but not really cheery either.

I took a drive on the Tail of the Dragon. Norm did it every year in his mustang, 11 miles of curves. It’s a dream destination of many on motorcycles and sports cars. I made sure to pull over for those going faster than me, so I didn’t hinder their joy of the ride. Norm and I once got behind an RV who was freaking out over the curves.

From there I turned onto the Foothills Parkway. I stopped at one of the turnoffs, where Norm and I would have lunch and enjoy the scenery.

The best way to describe my mood is it’s weird. Some days I do fine, some days I’m in tears and unable to focus…I come back to this, adjusting to my new normal will take time. I’m still processing how to move forward.

I am thankful for the life I had with Norm, lots of good memories.

I pray for the Lord’s grace to walk this walk.

I rejoice that God knows what’s coming my way, and He has promised to be with me through it all.

Where’s the joy? It is in the hope that Jesus provided when He came to earth to demonstrate God’s love for us.

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me; You will stretch forth Your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and Your right hand will save me. The Lord will accomplish what concerns me; Your lovingkindness, O Lord, is everlasting.

Psalm 138:7-8

Foothills Parkway

Tellico

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on November 7, 2025 by tricialathrop

November 7

Things seem to go really well, then all of a sudden, a word, song or picture will cause me to tear up and sometimes full fledged sobbing. I used to look at the crying emoji which shows waterfalls falling out of the eyes and think, who cries like that? I do.

The last two weeks have been more difficult because this is when we dealt with the diagnosis and his first treatment. Scary times, but continued hope for a total restoration to health.

Now, I’m facing the holiday season without him. I really did not expect last year to be our last Thanksgiving together, our last Christmas together…but then how does one prepare for that?

I’ve made plans. My daughter will come in for Thanksgiving and we’ll go to my niece’s new home. My brother and his wife will be there, as well as my sister and her beau, along with nieces and nephews. I’ll be surrounded by family for the day.

My daughter will help me decorate for Christmas, and we’ll do some Black Friday shopping. We do a lot of people watching and go out to eat. Christmas will be spent with my children and grandchildren.

Plans are great, but can’t prevent the memories washing in like a flood. This is the price of love, I cherish the memories even though tears accompany the memories. Norm and I had a lot of fun together. I married him because he made me laugh every day.

I am thankful for the almost 45 years that I had with Norm. He was a good man with a good heart.

I pray for those of us who will be facing the holidays without a loved one. Though the days can be tough, God is able to comfort us in our grief.

I rejoice that the season ahead gives us time to consider the hope that came with the birth of Jesus Christ, the promised Messiah who loved us enough to die on the cross so that we could walk in relationship with God.

Where’s the joy? It is in the memories, both good and bad. God blessed me with my marriage to Norm.

It is good to give thanks to the Lord and to sing praises to Your name, O Most High.

To declare Your loving kindness int he morning and Your faithfulness by night, with the ten-stringed lute and with the harp, with resounding music upon the lyre.

For You, O Lord, have made me glad by what You have done, I will sing for joy at the works of Your hands.

How great are Your works, O Lord! Your thoughts are very deep.

Psalm 92:1-5

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on October 31, 2025 by tricialathrop

October 31

This time last year, we were in the hospital waiting to hear what treatment plans they had for Norm…but that’s not what I’m going to talk about today.

Last Sunday my son got married to the love of his life. I’m thrilled with his choice, they accept one another and yet find a way to encourage each other to be the best they can be. So sweet.

The week leading up to the wedding I cried a lot, not because they were getting married, but because Norm would not be there. He approved of Mai from the moment he met her, seeing the good she did for Robert. He would have rejoiced with them, giving his blessing on their marriage.

I was concerned that I would just break into sobs at the wedding. Every time I listened to the dance I was to do with Rob, I wept big tears. I had a lot of people praying that I would keep it together. A few tears, yes, sobbing…that would draw attention away from the celebration.

Rehearsal and wedding day, the Lord allowed the joy of the celebration to overtake the sorrow of Norm not attending. He was acknowledged throughout the day…tears, not sobs. Rob and I danced, laughing because we really didn’t practice much. We enjoyed the time.

My daughters struggled with the father/daughter dance, Aimee remembering her wedding day dance with Norm, Jennifer in sorrow that she would never have the chance to dance with him at her wedding.

Norm would have enjoyed it all. He would have laughed and told stories of Rob as a child, as only he could tell them. He would have danced with Aimee and Jennifer. He would have danced with Sierra and Sawyer with joyful abandon.

I’m sure he watched from heaven, loving the joy of the day.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful that Robert found Mai, the love of his life.

I pray for them, that they will enjoy one another through the days to come, the good and the bad.

I rejoice that God continues to pave the way for me to walk this walk, going ahead of me to smooth away rough spots, and walking with me in the times when the rough spots remain.

Where’s the joy? Our love for one another continues in our children and grandchildren and we are able to rejoice in the celebrations of life. We are blessed with the choices our children have made in their partners.

This was the Psalm I read this morning. I need to remember that God has this, that He will continue to help me through…just like He did for the wedding.

Hear my cry, O God; Give heed to my prayer.

From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

For You have been a refuge for me, a tower of strength against the enemy.

let me dwell in Your tent forever; Let me take refuge in the shelter of Your wings.

For You have heard my vows, O God; You have given me the inheritance of those who fear Your name.

You will prolong the king’s life; His years will be as many generations.

He will abide before God forever; Appoint lovingkindness and truth that they may preserve him.

So I will sing praise to Your name forever, That I may pay my vows day by day.

Psalm 61

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