Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on August 28, 2025 by tricialathrop

August 27

I got lost on my way to church. I decided to take the back road in to avoid a left turn across heavy traffic. The problem: when I made that decision, I was not where I needed to be. It involved an extra turn, that I did not take.

It took several miles to realize my mistake, at which time, other than returning to my decision point, I had no idea how to get to church from where I was. So I turned on the GPS and entered an area I had yet to explore.

I turned onto a road and saw a large stone wall, the type one sees around castles. And I thought, this looks intriguing. And as I drove by, I discovered a sign, Millennium Manor, and visiting hours. How could Norm and I have missed this place in our ten years living here? I looked it up, it’s a castle some man built, a place Norm and I would have visited had we known.

I’ve felt lost without Norm. I’m trying to find my direction and focus without Norm in the picture. I miss his advice, comments, his companionship on adventures…his laugh.

Surprisingly, this little side trip gave me hope. Being lost is only temporary, I can rely on the Lord to lead me in the way I need to go. And though I no longer have my partner in adventures, the adventure is not yet over for me. It’s all just going to look different.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the modern GPS, it has gotten me out of many lost situations. I am thankful that God provided a life GPS with His Word.

I pray for wisdom as I walk this new path, not only for me but for my friend Kym, who has recently become a widow.

I rejoice in God my Savior who has provided all that I need to walk with Him.

Where’s the joy? it’s the hope of the adventure yet to come.

The Lord is the portion of my inheritance and my cup;
You support my lot.
The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
Indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me.
I will bless the Lord who has counseled me;
Indeed, my mind instructs me in the night.
I have set the Lord continually before me;
Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices;
My flesh also will dwell securely.
For You will not abandon my soul to Sheol;
Nor will You allow Your Holy One to undergo decay.
You will make known to me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.

Psalm 16:5–11

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on August 24, 2025 by tricialathrop

August 23

This week I went to the Immersive Van Gogh exhibit. Norm would have loved it. I took my nephew because I didn’t want to go alone. If it comes to your area, it is well worth the time and money.

I didn’t realize how prolific Van Gogh was. At one point I stared at the pictures and noticed that four of the sunflower pictures were the same, just using different intensities and hues. Then I noticed more where he used the same subject, but his choices of color and light intensities added interest.

Norm used to do that with his photography. He would choose a scene or a subject and photograph it from every possible angle. As he post processed them, he would choose varying saturations of light and color and produced amazing results. His desire in photography was to allow others to see and appreciate God’s creation.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the years I had with Norm and his joy in life, always so excited over his photos.

I pray for wisdom as I make choices moving forward without Norm.

I rejoice in God who has made all things.

Where’s the joy? It comes in who God is and the love He has shown.

Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth.
Serve the Lord with gladness;
Come before Him with joyful singing.
Know that the Lord Himself is God;
It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
Enter His gates with thanksgiving
And His courts with praise.
Give thanks to Him, bless His name.
For the Lord is good;
His lovingkindness is everlasting
And His faithfulness to all generations.

Psalm 100:1-5

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on August 15, 2025 by tricialathrop

August 15

Widowhood, it’s a lonely existence.

Sure I have family and friends around, but they have their own lives to live and those lives don’t revolve around me. I come home to an empty house where the silence can be deafening. No sound of Norm’s laughter. No one to share what happened during the day. I can see why people sometimes get married pretty quickly. When one is used to another body in the house for 45 years, it’s an adjustment.

I lived alone for a year before marrying Norm. Then I had a job, I had friends, we went out at night. I came home to peace and quiet where I could reboot. But after 45 years of day after day having someone around, it’s not easy going back to a single existence.

I remember when Norm retired and he was home 24-7-365…that was an adjustment. When someone else is in the house, I had to consider him in my plans, keep him posted, invite him along…but then he got his own things going. He would go for a day to take pictures, or he would go camping. And I enjoyed those days of freedom because they were short, and he would be back soon.

But now, he won’t be home in hours or days. This is an open ended solo existence and I’m trying to figure out how to do this.

At first there were a lot of things that needed to be done that took my time and energy. Friends and family stayed close and connected. But now the big things are done and friends and family have returned to their own lives…not to say they don’t check on me and spend time with me, they do…but it’s not as much as at first and that is as it should be.

I realize I’m not alone. I have friends and family who love me and care for me. I know that God is with me even in my deepest sorrow.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for my family and friends, this would be even more lonely without them.

I pray for grace to walk this walk with hope in my heart and an eye for others who may be lonely.

I rejoice in the faithfulness of God, who has provided for me in ways I never expected.

Where’s the joy? Every day God provides for my needs, spiritual, physical and emotional.

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on August 12, 2025 by tricialathrop

August 11

I’ve been sorting and packing up Norm’s computer gaming gear. I have his photos on discs, thanks to my kids. I haven’t looked at those yet, thousands to sort through. It will take time and more emotional stamina than I have right now.

Going through Norm’s things is an emotional process that I don’t want to do, but necessary.

I’m finished traveling for a few months. There is a lot to be done and I am so good at procrastinating. Little by little I’m coming out of the fog. Each day I’m trying to do at least one thing to move forward.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the memories I have with Norm. We had a good 45 years together, a lot of fun along with a few struggles. I am glad for the sorrow I feel for it reminds me of the love we had.

I pray for courage to move forward and emotional stamina to endure the pain from losing Norm.

I rejoice that whatever comes my way, God will be with me and will take care of me…even when I don’t see His hand at work.

Where’s the joy? Norm is walking with the Lord in His garden, no more pain and no more suffering.

Revelation 21:1–7 (NASB95): The New Heaven and Earth
1 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth passed away, and there is no longer any sea.
2 And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, made ready as a bride adorned for her husband.
3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them,
4 and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.”
5 And He who sits on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” And He said, “Write, for these words are faithful and true.”
6 Then He said to me, “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life without cost.
7 “He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son.

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on August 1, 2025 by tricialathrop

August 1

A friend told me that I was keeping very busy, avoiding the grieving of my loss. She did the same after her husband passed but the grief will not be denied. It comes.

Yes, I am. This is the hardest thing I have ever faced. I awaken every day hoping the nightmare is over and Norm is already up, planning our next adventure. But he is off exploring all that heaven has to offer.

Not that all I’m doing to keep busy is bad…lunch with friends, golf with my nephews, trips with family…all good things and beneficial to my life moving forward. However, the electronic dopamine induced stupor from TV and gaming…not so beneficial.

We all grieve differently and on our own time tables. The process is challenging, sometimes frightening, and beyond our own ability. We need friends and family to walk beside us, to give us freedom to grieve and time to heal. But we also need that nudge that coaxes us out of our denial so that we don’t continue to dwell in an unhealthy hiding place, such as my electronic dopamine stupor.

I found a plaque the other day, and if I see it again I’ll get it. A quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Success is not in crops gathered but in seeds planted.”

There are small steps I can take, like removing a particularly time consuming game from my iPad, and setting up a workable schedule for writing.

He who observes the wind will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap.

As you do not know the way the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything.

In the morning sow your seed, and at evening withhold not your hand, for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether both alike will be good.  (Ecclesiastes 11:4–6, ESV)

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for my family and friends who walk with me.
I pray that I will be faithful to take those steps which will allow me to heal and that I will be planting seeds of hope and encouragement.
I rejoice that God remains faithful and that He has not left me to walk this path alone.

Where’s the joy? It’s in the hope found in the people around me.

To those of you who are praying for me and encouraging me, thank you!

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on July 26, 2025 by tricialathrop

July 26

Just as it’s the little things that can bring on tears, also the little things can bring joy.

While driving the other day, an eagle swooped down in front of me and flew off to the side carrying a rabbit. Norm would have pulled over immediately and tried for a nice shot, I just enjoyed the moment.

I saw a rainbow today, vibrant in the clarity of all its colors. I took a moment to wonder at the sight.

At this point last year, we started to notice that something was not right…thinking allergy. Since then it has been quite the emotional roller coaster, good days, bad days, hope, despair.

All I can rely on is the faithfulness of God, that He will keep His promises and that all He says in His word is truth.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the moments of wonder and joy as God’s creation reveals itself as I walk.

I pray that I will look for those moments, and for the ability to see them even in the midst of my sorrow.

I rejoice in the God of all creation, who has created all nature with all its beauty.

Where’s the joy? It’s in the little things that come my way.

O Lord, our Lord, How majestic is Your name in all the earth,
Who have displayed Your splendor above the heavens!
From the mouth of infants and nursing babes You have established strength
Because of Your adversaries,
To make the enemy and the revengeful cease.
When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers,
The moon and the stars, which You have ordained;
What is man that You take thought of him,
And the son of man that You care for him?
Yet You have made him a little lower than God,
And You crown him with glory and majesty!
You make him to rule over the works of Your hands;
You have put all things under his feet,
All sheep and oxen,
And also the beasts of the field,
The birds of the heavens and the fish of the sea,
Whatever passes through the paths of the seas.
O Lord, our Lord,
How majestic is Your name in all the earth!

Psalm 8:1-9

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on July 25, 2025 by tricialathrop

July 24

I keep hoping this is all a bad dream and I will awaken to find Norm still with me.

I drove to Waterrock Knob where we spread his ashes. Unlike that morning, the fog had lifted and I could see the mountains.

Where’s the joy? Some days are tougher than others and it’s difficult to be joyful.

I am thankful for the promises of God which He will keep regardless of how I feel.

I pray for courage to walk each day, remembering that God has a plan for my life moving forward.

I rejoice in the Lord God, for all my hope is in Him.

Where’s the joy? It is found in Christ, regardless of the circumstances. Sometimes it comes easily, other times, it is a choice.

Do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on July 22, 2025 by tricialathrop

July 20

“Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other’s gold.” We used to sing that in the Girl Scouts.

The last week, so that I wasn’t home on Norm’s birthday, I traveled to PA to Montrose Christian Writer’s Conference. I used to attend when we lived in NY. I haven’t been for the last 9 years because they changed the dates to correspond with Norm’s birthday…and I wanted to go on trips to celebrate with him.

It had been a long time, and some of those I remember were not there due to illness. A few keep tabs on Facebook and spoke of Norm and how they enjoyed his photos. I made some new friends and enjoyed hearing of their writing projects. It was and continues to be a place where a writer can receive encouragement, teaching and challenges.

Someone wrote me a beautiful note of encouragement, signed with initials that I did not recognize. Even though I don’t know who it was from, it is a note I will keep to read again when I need encouragement.

After the conference, I headed on up to Clifton Park to see friends from the church we attended. They had faithfully prayed for Norm and encouraged us along the way. I met with a few one on one, but was able to greet and worship with a number of them.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for friends, old and new. They bless my life with camaraderie and encouragement. I feel their support each day.

I pray that I will be an encouragement to those within my sphere of influence.

I rejoice that God provides what is needed for us to not only survive, but to thrive as we walk with one another on this earth.

Where’s the joy? No surprise, friends, old and new.

For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

Now may the God who gives perseverance and encouragement grant you to be of the same mind with one another according to Christ Jesus, so that with one accord you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God.

Romans 15:4-7

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on July 14, 2025 by tricialathrop

July 14

Today would have been Norm’s 69th birthday. Last year we rode the Alpine Loop and enjoyed spending time around the Million Dollar Highway. No sign of anything seriously wrong.

I decided not to stay home and am heading to a writer’s conference. Today I get to meet up with a former pastor. Not sure how well I’ll hold it together, but I’ve learned that it’s okay to cry in front of others…can’t stop the tears anyway.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful that I have outlets for my grief and I don’t have to go it alone.

I pray for strength and wisdom as I walk this week.

I rejoice in the God of my salvation. Because of Jesus’ death and resurrection, Norm is celebrating in heaven with Him, having seen Jesus face to face.

Where’s the joy? It’s in the hope that only Jesus provides.


See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him.
Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.
And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.
Everyone who practices sin also practices lawlessness; and sin is lawlessness.
You know that He appeared in order to take away sins; and in Him there is no sin.

1 John 3:1-5

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on July 11, 2025 by tricialathrop

J

THE UNBIDDEN TEAR

The song, the photo, the kind look

It’s the small things,

And my heart is squeezed by a vise

And the tear falls.

The holidays, the anniversary, the birthday

I’m steeled to make it through the day

But a memory rips through my heart like an eagle’s talon

And the tear falls

Hearing a joke I want to share

Turning to him, but he isn’t there

A dark cloud of loneliness seeps into my heart

And the tear falls.

Sorting through his things

What to keep? What to give away?

Each memory pierces through the wall I’ve built

And the tear falls.

The memories are good. 

Friends and family stand near

The love of the Lord envelops me in a warm hug

And still, the tear falls.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for all the memories of Norm, even though right now they evoke tears, they are good memories.

I pray for my friends who have cancer or are walking through cancer with a loved one. Carol and Mark, Carl and Paula, Don and Darlene, Mark and Kym, Donna and Dan

I rejoice that God’s love remains, at times it takes everything within us to stand in that love…and He remains faithful to us through it all.

Where’s the joy? My great-nephews and I have a mini golf challenge going for the summer. They get me out of the house for a day of fun.

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. 

He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. 

On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. 

Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah 

Ps 62:5–8.

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