Where’s the Joy?

January 30

Most days are going well, today started great and then crashed and burned with a total meltdown. I spoke to the doctor about these episodes, and while unfortunate, not unexpected. They had given us meds to deal with the anxiety when needed. Don’t need them often, but we do on days like this.

We do see this time of struggle coming to a close. The chemos are working and only three to go over the next four weeks.

It’s been a tough road, but God has been faithful to us. Some days have seemed like more than we can handle, but God always provides what we need to get through the day.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for friends who check in and take the time to listen.

I pray for an awareness of the needs of others, so I can pay the kindness forward to others who need encouragement.

I rejoice in the fact that God is always present, even when I don’t feel him.

Where’s the joy? Today, it’s friends and family who walk alongside us.

Put on then as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving eah other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

And above all, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Colossians 3:12-15

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Where’s the Joy?

January 24

It’s been a rough few weeks. I came down with the flu. Norm has had two treatments since I last posted. We’ve had good news, the cancer is shrinking throughout his body.

Tough to take, the build up of the chemicals in his body are taking their toll on his stamina and mental fortitude.

Tomorrow we begin the last leg of the race, the final quarter. The end is in sight, only four more treatments. But the path ahead still looks daunting. Most trained distance runners always have a kick saved for the final laps…but cancer comes upon us and no one has trained for that final kick to make it through.

My daughter ran a marathon without a lot of training. She made it through the middle portion by asking people alongside the road to cheer for her, and they did. But the last leg of the journey, it was a matter of one foot in front of the other, a dogged determination to make it through.

Tonight, Norm’s frustration reached a low, “Four more treatments…how am I going to make it?”

My response, “You will make it in the same way you’ve made it so far. People are praying. People are hoping for you to come through this totally healed. People are cheering you on to the completion of the treatment. The Lord has carried you this far, He will be with you throughout the treatment.”

He is resting peacefully now. I hope he sleeps through the night and awakens refreshed.

I am thankful that we are not facing this treatment alone, we have friends and family for encouragement all along the way.

I pray that the final treatments will do what they are intended to do, and that Norm will have the strength of body and mind to continue to fight to beat cancer.

I rejoice that, no matter how it looks, God has this.

Where is the joy? I can’t say I’ve seen much joy today, it’s been tough. The joy is found in trusting in God’s faithfulness, appearances are deceiving, but God remains faithful.

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might, He increases power.

Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary. Isaiah 40:28-31

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Where’s the Joy?

January 12

It’s been a few weeks. Norm got a great report, the lesion on his brain is almost gone. We are still waiting on the results of the body chemo.

Even though we have great news, it is tough maintaining a positive attitude. I guess chemo builds up in one’s body as the treatments progress. Norm is definitely doing better, he no longer needs a wheelchair to get around…but he struggles with continual weakness. This week he got down on the floor to fix a lose wire, and could not get back up.

It becomes a mind game. The reports say he should feel better, and he does, but not as much as he thinks he should. As a caretaker, first time through this, it is also difficult to encourage when I think he should be doing better.

We are in the middle third of the marathon and it is difficult. It takes every bit of strength and resolve that one has…but it feels as if all the strength and resolve no longer exists, and every bit of reserve is drained.

Where’s the joy, when the road is hard and we cannot even conjure up a positive thought? It feels like a major bump in the road that knocks us down, bringing progress to a grinding halt.

I think we have to settle in faith, what do I believe? When our senses tell us it’s too hard to continue, what keeps us going?

Jesus never promised an easy life. But he did promise to never leave us or forsake us.

God created us to live in community, so that we have friends and family to walk alongside us in our struggles.

I am thankful that the chemo treatments are working.

I pray for strength to continue fighting through the buildup of the chemo in the body.

I rejoice that God has this all in His hand. I can trust Him to do what is best.

Where’s the joy? Trusting in the One who always has our best in mind.

Sometimes, our fight is an object lesson to encourage those around us. Our struggle for integrity as we walk the path, may encourage another to keep going. People around the US are seeing their prayers for Norm answered, many we don’t even know.

I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and he will hear me. In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refuses to be comforted. When I remember God, I moan; when I meditate, my spirit faints. Selah.

You hold my eyelids open; I am so troubled that I cannot speak. I consider the days of old, the years long ago. I said, “Let me remember my song in the night; let me meditate in my heart.”

Then my spirit made diligent search: Will the Lord spurn forever, and never again be favorable? Has his steadfast love forever ceased? Are his promises at an end for all time? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he in anger shut up his compassion? Selah.

Then I said, “I will appeal to this, to the years of the right hand of the Most High.” I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds.

Your way, O God, is holy. What god is great like our God? You are the God who works wonders; you have made known your might among the peoples. Psalm 77:1-14

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Where’s the Joy?

December 31

New Year’s Eve!

Good news for Norm today. The chemo has reduced the brain lesion significantly. Body scan on Thursday to see if the same has happened in his liver, spleen and kidneys. One month ago, his life stood in jeopardy. Today, hope reigns.

We went out to celebrate. Few foods appeal to him, but ribs sounded good so that’s what we got. The waitress asked about New Year’s Resolutions…I’m still struggling with that.

Every year I struggle. I usually didn’t keep/finish the resolutions from the year before. What makes me think l’ll be successful? Some years I just ditto the ones from the previous year.

One year I made no resolutions, big mistake. I had no aim or purpose for the year. I don’t do that anymore, the struggle was worse with no aim at all.

Here we go:

  1. Live what I believe. I want my words and actions to line up with my belief in Jesus Christ as the Son of God who came to earth to die for my sins and provide the means for me to be in God’s presence.
  2. Reach out first. I do tend to hold back and wait to be greeted. I want to introduce myself, write notes of encouragement, and make phone calls.
  3. Give thanks in every situation. God has this.

Though the fig tree should not blossom and there be no fruit on the vines, though the yield of the olive should fail and the fields produce no food, though the flock should be cut off from the fold and there be no cattle in the stalls, yet I will exult in the Lord, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength, and He has made my feet like hind’s feet, and makes me walk on my high places. Habakkuk 3:17-19

I am thankful for Norm’s good report today.

I pray for wise choices from all in leadership around the world.

I rejoice that regardless of the choices made, God has this all in His hand.

Where’s the joy? The Lord is my joy and strength.

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Where’s the Joy?

December 28

Norm is the best he’s been, partially steroids, partially due to the dying cancer. I don’t want assume that this will continue, chemo pit is yet to come.

On these days, while Norm is in the hospital, my mind veges out a bit, taking a break from having to keep track of every little thing. I’m looking forward to the day when he is totally self-sufficient again, but that is still months away.

We are coming up on a new year. Usually, I’m considering a verse for the year. Sometimes it’s gratitude, sometimes it’s a spiritual challenge for behavior or habits.

I have been on survival mode for the last 4 months. But now, Norm might actually survive this cancer.

He’s concerned about who he will be once this is done. Near death experiences change people. I’m wondering the same thing about me, will the constant caretaking change me in some way?

What am I going to do in facing 2024? Do I go ahead and make goals for the year? Do I just make it a goal to live each day until Norm is through this? What scripture will help me get through this and then move forward?

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.”

Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.

Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.”

But as it is, you boast in your arrogance, all such boasting is evil. Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin. James 4:13-17

We really don’t know what tomorrow will bring. All I do know, is that cancer has shown me that planning ahead needs to be flexible. It doesn’t always work out the way we’d like. But whatever comes my way, God is there.

I am thankful that Norm’s chemo seems to be working and he will be whole again.

I pray for the faithful nurses, doctors, janitors, nutritionists and all others involved in helping my husband to recover.

I rejoice that God has tomorrow in His hand.

Where’s the joy? I am looking forward with hope.

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Where’s the Joy?

Christmas Day

Today was a busy day. Family came to visit.

Today’s word is JOY!

My first thought, “Joy to the World, the Lord is come. Let earth receive her king.”

Joy and happiness, though similar are not the same. Happiness comes by circumstances, joy exists despite the circumstances. Hope is a key ingredient in joy. We can have joy because we have hope for a better outcome.

Jesus went to the cross because He knew the restoration of humanity with God would come through His actions. Therefore He faced it with joy.

We have spent a lot of time alone. Norm sleeps a lot. Chemo knocks down one’s immune system so that in cold and flu season, he can’t go out easily. Big crowds carry big risks. For a time, he didn’t want to have anyone come and see him in this weakened condition. Fortunately for me, he was gracious to allow me to leave him for an hour or so, without making me feel guilty. Not every caretaker has that.

This past two weeks, he has enjoyed a number of visitors. I’m realizing that we are social people, we need interaction with others. Sharing our stories, hopes and dreams fills us in a way that we cannot get in isolation. There is healing in the laughter and joy that comes with family and friends.

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

You (God) will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalms 16:11

The Lord your God is in your midst, a victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over. you with shouts of joy. Zephaniah 3:17

It’s fun to picture God rejoicing over us…just like a parent watching his/her child as they speak, act and play.

But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.” Luke 2:10

Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy be made full. John 15:9-11

I am thankful for family and friends.

I pray for those who don’t have anyone around them, that they will find a friend, reconnect with family, or restore a lost relationship.

I rejoice that Jesus Christ endured the cross for the joy set before Him, our full restoration to relationship with God.

Where’s the joy? I have friends and family with whom to share my life.

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Where’s the Joy?

December 24

Today the word is peace. The angels announced to the shepherds about Jesus, “Peace on earth, good will to men.”

But Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote in the 19th century about the bells on Christmas Day, and said, “There is no peace on earth.” But he follows that with a statement about God, “He is not dead, nor doth He sleep.”

I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play,
    And wild and sweet
    The words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
    Had rolled along
    The unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Till ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
    A voice, a chime,
    A chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Then from each black, accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South,
    And with the sound
    The carols drowned
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,
    And made forlorn
    The households born
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head;
“There is no peace on earth,” I said;
    “For hate is strong,
    And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!”

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
    The Wrong shall fail,
    The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men.”

The Webster definition of peace: Freedom from disturbance; Tranquility; A state of no war. We live in troubled times, when people need to be reminded to treat the people around them with kindness.

Isaiah prophesies the titles that would be given to Jesus in Isaiah 9:6. The Prince of Peace will reign in the Kingdom of God. Romans 14 tells us, this kingdom consists of righteousness, peace, and joy. As a follower of Jesus Christ, I look forward to the day in eternity when the characteristics of righteousness, peace, and joy are at their fullest. But today, I can live in this temporal world and exhibit those qualities as I interact with the people around me.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father. Colossians 3:15-17.

By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His oly begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 1 John 4:9-11

We will have peace when we begin to treat others as we want to be treated, without waiting for them to treat us well first.

Today at Walmart, yes, I was there at its busiest time, I had an opportunity to give some peace of mind to a young mom. She stood in the checkout line, scanning her items with her phone. At first I thought, hey, does Walmart have an app where you can check out with your phone. Then she began to pull out things to put back on the shelf. She prioritized her items and struggled with some decisions.

At this point, I remembered that I had $20 in my pocket. When I had discovered it, I questioned why I had put it there since I was going to use a card. I pulled it out and gave it to her.

I remember the struggle with young kids, wanting to give them a nice Christmas, but having to stay within a budget. Today, $20 isn’t going to break me, but for her, it meant she could keep the items in her basket. She cried as she thanked me, and I’m sure one day she will help a young mom in need.

Being kind doesn’t have to cost money. A smile, a kind word, a hug, a helping hand…all are free to give. With kindness, we can offer peace to the people around us, even those who don’t think or act as we think they should.

Jesus came to bring peace. We are the vessels that he can use to extend grace and mercy to those around us, that will lead to peace.

I am thankful that I have been blessed and have opportunities to pay it forward.

I pray for the woman today, that she and her family will have a fun and enjoyable Christmas Day.

I rejoice in Jesus, who came to bring peace as the Prince of Peace.

Where’s the joy? It is fun to give when there is no expectation of payback.

Jesus said: “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.” John 14:27

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Where’s the Joy?

December 23

The word for today is love. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him will have eternal life.” John 3:16.

Some of us grew up with the Monty Python view of God, a big foot dropping out of the sky to squish us no matter how hard we try. Some think that God looks for a reason to condemn us so that He can punish us. Some think God looks down on us from Heaven, without caring for us. Others think He doesn’t exist at all.

Jesus came to earth and presented God as a loving Father who cares for the people He created.

One thing Norm says he has learned through this ordeal is that God loves him. He has experienced love from his family, friends, and even people he does not know have reached out and pray for him by name. They do this without Norm having to do anything in return.

Before our children and grandchildren were born, they were loved. When they arrived, the first few weeks they were just eating and pooping machines…but they were loved just the same. They were loved before their first smile, their first word, or their first achievement.

I’ve met families with broken relationships, where the children ran away from their parents. I get it, some parents are mean and abusive. Some parents become addicted to drugs or alcohol and are bad parents. It’s not always the parent’s fault, sometimes, the child comes from a loving family, but makes bad choices.

God’s love transcends all human love. He loves even those who despise and deny Him. He loves the one who lives a sinful life as well as the one who tries to live a righteous life. He wants to be in relationship with each of us, and to that end, He sent Jesus Christ to earth.

For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him.

For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. And not only this, but we also exult in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have no received the reconciliation. Romans 5:6-11

I am thankful for God’s love that does not depend on my words or actions.

I pray for those in broken relationships, that forgiveness will be offered and received and that families will be reconciled.

I rejoice that God loves all people and desires that all come to a saving knowledge of Him.

Where’s the joy? Jesus came to earth so that I can have life.

And she gave birth to her firstborn son; and she wrapped Him in cloths, and laid Him in a manger because there was no room for them in the inn.

In the same region there were some shepherds staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock by night.

And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened.

But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among men with whom His is pleased.” Luke 2:7-14

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Where’s the Joy?

December 21

For the next few days, I choose not to focus on my emotions and feelings, but focus instead on the reason we who follow Jesus Christ celebrate Christmas.

During the Advent season, each Sunday the church focuses on a different aspect involving the coming of Christ. The first week is hope, the second, Love, the third, joy, and the fourth focuses on peace. So I am going to begin with hope and finish this series on Christmas Day.

On this side of Christ’s birth, death and resurrection, we can look back on the prophesies and see how Christ fulfilled them. But before his birth and during the life of Jesus, there was confusion. He did not do what they expected. He did not take the lead in an army and drive out the Romans and establish the country of Judah as the premiere empire on earth.

His kingdom is not temporal, it is eternal. Its citizens required a sacrifice that no one in this world could provide. Jesus died and rose again to give the citizens of the eternal kingdom freedom from the punishment for sin, death, and gave them the ability to live forever…not in this world that suffers from decay, but with God in eternity.

Before Christ came to earth as a human being, prophets told of a coming King of kings, on whom the people in the first century focused. They also spoke of the Suffering Servant, the one who would be pierced for our iniquities, the Good Shepherd, who would guide his sheep, the Lamb of God who would take away the sins of the world.

We find the first mention of this provision in Genesis 3:14-15. The Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this (tempted Adam and Eve to eat the fruit of the forbidden tree), cursed are you more than all cattle, and more than every beast of the field; on your belly you will go, and dust you will eat all the days of your life; and I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her seed; He shall bruise you on the head, and you shall bruise Him on the heel.”

Adam and Eve chose to eat the forbidden fruit and it caused sin and sin’s punishment, death, to come into the world. But God did not leave the people hopeless…a child would be born one day that would defeat the power of death.

The book of Isaiah is full of promises about the first coming of Jesus Christ.

Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold a virgin will be with child and bear a son, and she will call His name Immanuel. Isaiah 7:14

Immanuel means “God with us”. The Son of God came and walked among us. He lived as a man, beginning as a baby, learning to talk and walk, growing, facing temptations that all people face.

And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14

Isaiah also speaks of his role on earth, that the kingdom to be established will be based in justice and righteousness.

For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us; and the governemet will rest on His shoulders; and His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace. There will be no end to the increase of His government or of peace, on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it with justice and righteousness from then on and forevermore. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will accomplish this. Isaiah 9:6-7

The kingdom that is based in righteousness and justice, that is yet to come. We live where we are subject to the laws of the land, and sometimes the people in power over us, do not care about us…just about their own agendas. But Christ came to be a leader for righteousness, a shepherd who really cares for his sheep.

The Spirit of the Lord will rest on Him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and strength, the spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord. And He will delight in the fear of the Lord, and He will not judge by what His eyes see, nor make a decision by what His ears hear; but with righteousness He will judge the poor, and decide with fairness for the afflicted of the earth; and He will strike the earth with the rod of His mouth, and with the breath of His lips He will slay the wicked. Also righteousness will be the belt about His loins, and faithfulness the belt about His waist.

And the wolf will dwell with the lamb, and the leopard will lie down with the young goat, and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little boy will lead them. Also the cow and the bear will graze, their young will lie down together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox. The nursing child will play by the hole of the cobra, and the weaned child will put his hand on the viper’s den. They will not hurt or destroy in all My holy mountain, for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea. Isaiah 11:2-9

Why did God choose to do it this way? Why have Jesus come, suffer and die, and then leave for thousands of years before establishing His kingdom?

I don’t know. But I have hope in a future where there will be no more pain, no more tears, and no more fears. This world is not my home, and I am a citizen of the heavenly kingdom, therefore I am called to live in this world as if in the next. Jesus laid out the character qualities of one who is a citizen in the kingdom of Heaven, the Beatitudes in Matthew 5.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God.

These are a good reminder of how I should live as I wait for the return of Jesus Christ.

I am thankful that the prophets were faithful to share the Good News that was to come, and for Luke who recorded the Nativity narrative.

I pray that all people will come to know the hope that is in Christ Jesus.

I rejoice that God always keeps His promises.

Where’s the joy? It is in the hope that comes from knowing that Jesus Christ sacrificed Himself, so that I could have eternal life with the Lord God, Creator of the universe.

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Where’s the Joy?

December 19

Less than a week to Christmas. I had mixed emotions all day.

Being a caretaker is tiring. I remember Mom saying about Dad, he’s not difficult, but it’s the every day, every hour making sure he had what he needed.

Norm isn’t difficult, and he does more on his own than my dad did, but the constant need to be on guard for changes and to be aware of when he needs encouragement takes its toll. Norm lets me go out with friends and family, so I’m not housebound, but I am weary today. It’s been a rough two weeks.

I’m hoping for a much better week next week, so we can visit my niece in her new place for Christmas dinner.

I finally put up a few decorations, my heart is not into putting in the effort this year, only to take it down…

One of my favorite memories as a child was when I would wake before dawn Christmas morning and turn on the lights of the tree, sit on the register to stay warm, and enjoy the glow. I will put up a tree and its lights tomorrow…perhaps it will help.

I am thankful for the love and prayers of many family and friends.

I pray for those who are suffering from illness, loss of a loved one, and broken relationships…comfort and wisdom for all.

I rejoice that God remains faithful at all times in every way.

Though the fig tree should not blossom and there be no fruit on the vines, though the yield of the olive should fail and the fields produce no food, though the flock should be cut off from the fold and there be no cattle in the stalls, yet I will exult in the LORD, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength, and He has made my feet like hinds’ feet, and makes me walk on my high places. Habakkuk 3:17-19

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