I’m a widow. In just one day I changed my demographic, no longer married…a widow.
It’s not like I’m going to run around and tell people, “I’m a widow now”. I will comment about my husband, sharing stories of our life together. But for the rest of my life on those forms we fill out ad nauseam, I will have to mark “widow”.
For some reason this realization is hitting me hard. It’s weird. It identifies me as someone who was once married, but is no longer because of death. And I’m not sure how to deal with it.
The term, widow, draws up images of “Gone With the Wind” and the Scarlett dancing in her widow’s garb. In the English movies, the widow is either a scheming bitter woman who speaks poorly about everyone, or a senseless dowager who needs constant watching.
There are some widows in the Bible. Naomi, who called herself Mara, because of bitterness, but had the grace to find provision for her widowed daughter-in-law Ruth.
The widow of Naan, for whom Jesus raised her son to life. In those days children took care of their widowed mothers and if she didn’t have that protection, she could be reduced to begging. Jesus gave her not only her son, but her provision.
Anna dwelled in the temple for 70 years as a widow, and gave witness to Jesus Christ as the Messiah alongside Simeon.
Jesus praised the widow, who in her need, gave all she had to the Lord.
The only non-widow in the women mentioned in Jesus’ genealogy was Mary, his mother. But by the time Jesus began his ministry, she was a widow.
The prophets criticized the leaders of Israel for not taking care of the widows or orphans and not hearing their causes. Jesus commented that the leadership of his day “devoured” widows houses (Mark 12:40). James tells us that caring for widows and orphans in their affliction is a part of pure and undefiled religion.
Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. James 1:27
In America today, most widows are not as reliant on their children as in the past. Most have Social Security or a pension, either from their own job or their husband’s. Of course, this does not apply to all widows, some do need to rely on their children or the state for their provision and care.
Now that I am a widow, I see that I didn’t see the needs of the widows, not that I ignored them or didn’t help…I just wasn’t aware of some needs.
1 Timothy 5 gives some guidelines for caring for widows. The first responsibility falls to the family, children and grandchildren. Then it falls to the church. Younger widows were encouraged to remarry.
There are cautions mentioned: don’t be idle, don’t go from house to house just being idle, don’t become gossips or busybodies talking about things not worth mentioning. (1 Timothy 5:13)
As a widow, I am to fix my hope on God and continue in entreaties and prayers. I am to be devoted good works, showing hospitality to strangers, assisting those in distress, serving the Lord in the church, teaching the young women…all the things I should have been doing all along…
Paul also has guidelines for the widows and the single women. As an unmarried woman now, I can focus more on the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit.
The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 1 Corinthians 7:24
I am a widow, and in that role I have some responsibilities before the Lord. It should be interesting to see where this path takes me.
Where’s the joy?
I am thankful for the people who have rallied around me during this time of grieving and readjustment.
I pray for wisdom and courage to walk in the path that the Lord has set before me.
I rejoice that God cares for those who are needy and somewhat helpless, so much so that he calls his people to care for the broken and hurting.
Where’s the joy? The Lord continues to have a purpose for my life and will reveal his plan as I seek His face.
TRICIA LATHROP 