Posts Tagged With: widow

Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on February 18, 2026 by tricialathrop

February 17

Norm and I traveled to Alaska to celebrate our 40th anniversary…2 years late because Covid limited all travel on the actual date. We still had to do Covid testing to go, and retest before we joined the cruise.

We started the trip with a land tour to Denali. We looked forward to seeing the mountain. We were disappointed. The clouds covered it for the entire time. I even stood on the observation deck and sang to the mountain, “Show yourself…” from Frozen 2. It seemed appropriate at the time.

The clouds still covered the mountain as we boarded the bus to leave.

20 miles down the road, the bus driver pulled over to the side of the road. He told us all to get out and to look behind us. The clouds had parted, and Denali beamed in the sunlight. We got to see it, even if from a distance.

If you’ve been reading my blog, you know that the last month has been tough for me.

Yesterday, it felt as if the great weight had lifted and that feeling has continued today. I’m able to focus. There’s a spring in my step. I smiled more than I cried today.

It’s nothing I’ve done, just the grace of God being poured out on me, giving me a reprieve from the heaviness of grieving.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the reprieve of the last two days. The memories are good.

I pray for wisdom as I face each day, to speak and act in such a way that brings God glory.

I rejoice in God’s faithfulness to me, even when I don’t see His hand at work in my life.

Where’s the joy? It’s in God’s provision day by day.

Praise the Lord!
Praise God in His sanctuary;
Praise Him in His mighty expanse.
Praise Him for His mighty deeds;
Praise Him according to His excellent greatness.
Praise Him with trumpet sound;
Praise Him with harp and lyre.
Praise Him with timbrel and dancing;
Praise Him with stringed instruments and pipe.
Praise Him with loud cymbals;
Praise Him with resounding cymbals.
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord!

Psalm 150

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on February 13, 2026 by tricialathrop

February 12

I’ve hit a wall. I feel like I’m in system shut-down. I chose to stay close to home for January and February. I wanted to see how I did without distractions, how I was going to handle life without Norm on a daily basis. It’s been an eye-opening experience.

I no longer have the urgent matters that had to be addressed after Norm’s passing. There are things I need to be doing or I will find myself in urgency again, because of my own procrastination…and right now, that’s the nation I’m in. Those activities that require preparation for other people, those are getting done…last minute…but getting done. But things around the house…not so much. My writing, my studies…taking more effort.

I find that the Norm’s absence weighs heavily on me, and moving forward is far more difficult than I expected. I’m usually a pick myself up by the bootstraps person and keep moving…it’s not as easy this time.

I need a reboot so I remind myself of this:

In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:26–28.

For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11.

But now, thus says the Lord, your Creator, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel, 

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine! 

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. 

When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you. 

“For I am the Lord your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior

Is 43:1–3.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the people that God has placed in my life to encourage and uplift me during this difficult time.

I pray for wisdom as I choose my words and actions each day, that they will be honoring to the Lord.

I rejoice…I am choosing to rejoice in the Lord my God, the Holy One of Israel, my Savior who holds me in the palm of His hand.

Where’s the joy? It’s God’s peace in the midst of the storm.

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on February 4, 2026 by tricialathrop

February 3

This has been a tough couple of weeks. With the snow and ice, I’ve not been able to get out as easily. Only a couple of days, but I felt isolated. It’s been almost a year, but I still miss his presence and sometimes expect him to appear.

I’ve had a lot of emotional support this year. Widows who have been there and share their experiences, friends who are still married but take the time to ask how I’m doing, family to visit and to call…and others who come alongside so that I know I’m not alone and isolated.

I’m reading through Hebrews for my quiet time, and I came across the verse that says, “Today, if you hear his voice…”

I got stuck on the “today”. Yesterday has already passed. I can’t change anything I did or said. It’s a done deal. I can apologize, be grateful, make atonement, but I can’t change the past.

Tomorrow is an unknown, my words and actions yet to be determined. Being fearful or worried about the future won’t change it.

What I have is this moment, today. What I do and say today can set up tomorrow for success. The way I respond to what happened yesterday can also set up tomorrow for success. By living in this moment, today, embracing the joys and sorrows of the moment, choosing my words, and doing the works that God would have me do, I will face tomorrow with no regrets.

Pollyanna? Pie in the sky? Idealized thinking? Perhaps.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking of the past, understandable with the passing of Norm. The memories are good. I’ve spent some time considering my future, how am I going to do this alone?

I have today. I can prioritize my relationship with God, reading His Word and praying for wisdom and help. I can prioritize family and friends, taking the time to speak a word of encouragement. I can take care of the mundane things that must be done, for life goes on…like taxes and housework.

Where’s the joy? Today is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

I am thankful for God’s faithfulness to remind me that He has all this in His hand. He has a plan for my future, He knows my past failures. He knows my hopes and dreams.

I pray for wisdom as I choose the best words and actions for each day as I continue to interact with this world and the people in it.

I rejoice that God made today.

Where’s the joy? It’s available all around me, I just need to open my eyes to see it.


Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good;
For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
Oh let Israel say,
“His lovingkindness is everlasting.”
Oh let the house of Aaron say,
“His lovingkindness is everlasting.”
Oh let those who fear the Lord say,
“His lovingkindness is everlasting.”
From my distress I called upon the Lord;
The Lord answered me and set me in a large place.
The Lord is for me; I will not fear;
What can man do to me?
The Lord is for me among those who help me;
Therefore I will look with satisfaction on those who hate me.
It is better to take refuge in the Lord
Than to trust in man.
It is better to take refuge in the Lord
Than to trust in princes.
All nations surrounded me;
In the name of the Lord I will surely cut them off.
They surrounded me, yes, they surrounded me;
In the name of the Lord I will surely cut them off.
They surrounded me like bees;
They were extinguished as a fire of thorns;
In the name of the Lord I will surely cut them off.
You pushed me violently so that I was falling,
But the Lord helped me.
The Lord is my strength and song,
And He has become my salvation.
The sound of joyful shouting and salvation is in the tents of the righteous;
The right hand of the Lord does valiantly.
The right hand of the Lord is exalted;
The right hand of the Lord does valiantly.
I will not die, but live,
And tell of the works of the Lord.
The Lord has disciplined me severely,
But He has not given me over to death.
Open to me the gates of righteousness;
I shall enter through them, I shall give thanks to the Lord.
This is the gate of the Lord;
The righteous will enter through it.
I shall give thanks to You, for You have answered me,
And You have become my salvation.
The stone which the builders rejected
Has become the chief corner stone.
This is the Lord’s doing;
It is marvelous in our eyes.
This is the day which the Lord has made;
Let us rejoice and be glad in it.
O Lord, do save, we beseech You;
O Lord, we beseech You, do send prosperity!
Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord;
We have blessed you from the house of the Lord.
The Lord is God, and He has given us light;
Bind the festival sacrifice with cords to the horns of the altar.
You are my God, and I give thanks to You;
You are my God, I extol You.
Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good;
For His lovingkindness is everlasting.

Psalm 118

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on January 29, 2026 by tricialathrop

January 28

In the last year I’ve done a lot to distract myself from focusing on the loss of Norm. Not that I haven’t felt the loss everyday, but activities and trips have helped me to not just sit home and mourn.

I noticed an increase in time spent on electronic games…not the best use of time. And when I considered not playing them anymore, I had a sense of panic…weird, but indicative of addiction to whatever endorphins they induce. I’ve tried to cut back in the past, but eventually increase my playing time.

As I prayed about the hold it has over me, I decided to set the games aside as a perpetual fast to the Lord. I’ve given them up before, but I’ve always gone back. Will this time be different? I hope so. I don’t do it to gain the favor of the Lord, but by setting them aside, I will have more time for the connections that really matter, including time in prayer.

I haven’t played any electronic games since Sunday, tempted but haven’t succumbed. However, I have increased my Facebook scrolling, you know that click bait that keeps popping up and sucks me in to a story like the old soap operas or tales of revenge or deserved karma. If I stop over a story for longer than a few seconds, more show up like that one. The algorithms at work, not enlightening or of benefit at all to my life.

This is a personal decision, for my life. Some people can play the games and scroll Facebook without consequence. They had an adverse affect on my life and mindset, I needed to change.

Why this? Why now?

Last year when Norm thought he was going to survive the cancer, he began to speak about what he was going to do with the extra time that God had given him. I don’t know what time I have left, but the games and scrolling take away from that time. It limits my interactions with the Lord and with others in my sphere of influence. I don’t want to waste the days the Lord has given to me. I don’t want to stand before the Lord and see hours and hours playing games, alone.

I want to be an encouragement to the people around me. I want to honor the Lord in my words and actions.

Where’s the joy? It’s not in the games or on Facebook.

I am thankful for God who provides everything I need, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

I pray for the wherewithal to keep away from those games and sites that eat my time and keep me from spending time on what really matters.

I rejoice in the Lord God who loves me regardless of my success or failures, and does not depend on my words and actions.

Where’s the joy? I’m hoping to see an increase as I interact with the people around me more fully.


Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Hebrews 12:1-3

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on January 23, 2026 by tricialathrop

January 22

For our fifteenth anniversary, Norm and I went to Calgary and Banff National Park in Canada. We had a number of great memories there and it was on our list to return, we did a few years ago for the train ride across to Vancouver…but we did not return to do any of the trails.

On that trip, we decided to go see the famous “Ink Pots”, bubbling mud pots. To get there, we walked through what we began to refer to as the “Forest of Gloom” that went on and on. The trees blocked the sunlight and when it did peek through, shadows morphed all around us. And the mud pots? Disappointing.

However, we continued on the trail it opened up to a glorious, majestic valley surrounded by mountains with a glacial river running through it. We enjoyed the view. We decided to take off our shoes and stick them in the river flowing from the glacier…live and learn, and don’t make the same mistake twice.

This was all before Norm began photography, so we just have pictures from my camera. If Norm had been doing photography, we would have been going back through the Forest of Gloom in the dark. The scenery took our breath away…almost like when we put our feet in the water.

Why am I sharing this? I feel like I’m on that trail. Every day I wake up to the realization that Norm is not here. It’s been harder the last few weeks. I’m weary of the day after day grief. Perhaps it’s intensified by the memory that at this time last year we thought he was going to beat the cancer. We had started discussing plans for the future, European river cruise, going to the south of France, back to Colorado…

Even in my struggles and weariness, there is hope. I don’t despair. God gives me strength to walk this path. God gives me courage to continue. God sends friends to encourage me. Though I walk alone, I am never alone.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the memories I have with Norm, family and friends.

I pray for all the people that will be affected by the storm this weekend, for safety, food and shelter to be provided.

I rejoice in the God of my salvation, whose love is beyond our understanding.

Where’s the joy? It is in the hope of God’s faithfulness in the future.

The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He restores my soul;
He guides me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalm 23

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on January 12, 2026 by tricialathrop

January 12

When Norm used to take his trips, he sometimes lost touch with me, not all National Parks have good cell coverage or wifi access. When it got too long, I began to wonder, “What will I do if he died?” And I would go through some thoughts as to the process of locating his body, getting it home, etc and try to process what life might look like.

I was clueless! What I didn’t realize is the day after day dealing with the loss. He’s not here to talk to, to share with, to hold hands, hug, kiss…

Tonight I went to dinner with my sisters and their significant others. They are happy in their relationships and I don’t begrudge them that, but I’m having to learn to be with them, without Norm. Sometimes are easier than others, but being single in a world of couples has its challenges. It reminds me of what I no longer have.

Last week I spent time with Sierra and Sawyer. As I watch them play, create, and ask their questions, sorrow comes over me. Norm enjoyed their developing minds and interacted with them in a way I can’t. I’m sure he watches from heaven and prays for them, but he’s not here.

I’m doing things to distract myself so I don’t wallow in self pity. We all grieve in our own ways and time. I’ve heard from some that the second year was harder than the first, time will tell.

Moving forward, I need to take some time to see and hear what God has for me to say and do. What should be my focus? Where do I need to spend energy and is there anything I need to let go of?

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for family and friends who continue to include me in events and outings. They are helping me to navigate this new path.

I pray for wisdom and courage as I move forward. I’m not sure how it will look, but God knows.

I rejoice in the faithfulness that is God. His love for us is far better than we can imagine, for His love is perfect, seeks our good, and desires to walk with us daily.

Where’s the joy? It’s all around me, for God is faithful.


Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us.

1 John 4:7-12

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on January 5, 2026 by tricialathrop

January 5

What a whirlwind! My daughter is sick, possibly mono, and I’m helping with the grands, ages 8 and 4, fun ages. For the most part they are really good, but they are kids, creative, busy and sometimes overwhelming. I miss Norm especially at these times because he could match their energy and creative leaps. My mom used to say Norm was the biggest kid of all when he took all the nieces and nephews to the movies over the holidays.

Aimee is going through testing, and waiting for results. It takes me back to Norm’s struggle as he got tested, waited for results, only to find out he needed more testing…

It’s another reminder…so much we cannot control, but God is in total control. He has a plan. My job, pray for Aimee, for healing, for wisdom for the doctors, for Aimee and Steve to have peace in the situation, whatever the result.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful that I have the time and strength to help with the grandkids. It gives me extra time with them.

I pray for Aimee and Steve as they walk an unknown path back to health.

I rejoice that God continues to have all things under his control. Though He does not promise to keep us out of all painful situations, He does promise to be with us through all of it.

Though the fig tree should not blossom
And there be no fruit on the vines,
Though the yield of the olive should fail
And the fields produce no food,
Though the flock should be cut off from the fold
And there be no cattle in the stalls,
Yet I will exult in the Lord,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
The Lord God is my strength,
And He has made my feet like hinds’ feet,
And makes me walk on my high places.

Habakkuk 3:17-19

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on December 30, 2025 by tricialathrop

December 29

Another first gone by. Three to go…New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day and the anniversary of Norm’s death.

My Christmas had the expected times of joy with my children and grandchildren, expected times of sorrow and missing Norm. What I did not expect? Moments of absolute emptiness. I felt like the Tin Man, seeing and hearing what happened around me, and yet no emotion attached. Weird.

I’m not sure what to make of that, just thought I’d share it.

I met another widow today, she’s in her second year. This is not for the faint-hearted. It’s not a road anyone would choose. And yet, so many are facing the holidays this year missing a loved one…a parent, a child, a friend, a husband, a wife, a partner, a pet…each one dealing with it the best they can. Remember to lift the ones you know in prayer.

In the olden days, widows wore black for a year, and had restrictions on what was acceptable to do during the year of grieving. We don’t do that anymore. There’s no set time table, no rules of socially acceptable activities, no end date…

Christmas was a blur this year. In three days it will be 2026. I’m starting to consider, now what? One time a mentor told me to “Consider your calling” as I was making a decision for my future.

What am I going to do? Where am I going to serve? What expectations do I have for myself? What expectations from others do I need to consider? What expectations do I need to lay aside?

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

Where’s the joy? We can be sorrowful and yet have joy at the same time, amazing how God’s grace surrounds us.

I am thankful for divine appointments, God brings people into our lives who encourage us where we are. Meeting Christa at the Subaru car place today, was one such connection.

I pray for all those who are missing someone special over this holiday, that God will give them grace to have joy in spite of the grief.

I rejoice in the faithfulness of the Lord, who lifts us up when we are down and gives us hope for the future.

Where’s the joy? Everyday, God is faithful. Everyday, God provides.

O Lord, who may abide in Your tent?
Who may dwell on Your holy hill?
He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness,
And speaks truth in his heart.
He does not slander with his tongue,
Nor does evil to his neighbor,
Nor takes up a reproach against his friend;
In whose eyes a reprobate is despised,
But who honors those who fear the Lord;
He swears to his own hurt and does not change;
He does not put out his money at interest,
Nor does he take a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things will never be shaken.

Psalm 15

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on December 11, 2025 by tricialathrop

December 11

I dreamt about Norm last night. Some people have dreams of their departed loved ones where they have a wonderful heart to heart or assurances…good things. But in my dreams he’s either sick, angry or very disappointed in me…last night he was disappointed in some decisions I made.

The dream may have come as a result of a conversation I had. Yesterday a friend, who is also a widow, and I discussed the deaths of our husbands. There are times I ponder if I could have done something different to change the outcome…not uncommon with the death of a loved one.

Both of our husbands had a similar statement as they suffered through the treatment and the pain of cancer. Each commented, “Through this experience, I know now that I am loved. I know God loves me. I know my wife loves me. I know my children love me.” Not the exact words, but you get the gist.

My thoughts upon hearing him say that, “Did he not know how much I loved him?”

Was the dream a result of my own insecurities? Was it representative of his personality change due to the cancer? Was it a result of guilt that I could have done something differently?

I don’t know the why of the dream. Our minds process life in a variety of ways, and I believe it can be through dreams. This dream was more disturbing than helpful. I’ve cried a lot today.

When days like this happen, it causes me to go back to trust. Do I believe that God is in ultimate control? Do I believe that God has a time for each of us and when we our work is done here, He takes us home to be with Him? Do I believe it was Norm’s time to go and I could not change the outcome no matter what I did? Do I believe God has something good planned for the rest of my life?

“For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

When people use this verse to speak about the blessings of God, I usually remind them that God said this just before the people of Israel went into exile in Babylon for 70 years. God doesn’t give us freedom from pain and trouble, He provides hope in the middle of the pain and trouble. Pain and sorrow come to all of us, God remains faithful through it all.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for God’s comfort in the midst of my sorrow.

I pray for wisdom as I speak with others about the hope that is found in Christ.

I rejoice in the coming of Jesus Christ, who opens the door for all of us to have a loving relationship with the God of the universe.

Where’s the joy? It’s found in the hope that God provides every day.

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on December 6, 2025 by tricialathrop

December 6

I’ve been trying to put up Christmas decorations. It’s more difficult than I thought. Lots of memories with ornaments from all our travels, nativities he has made or we bought on our travels or at the various craft fairs we’ve attended.

I attended the Christmas Carol the other day. My daughter Jenn and my sister Deb went with me. It’s a tradition that Norm and I began in New York at Proctor’s in Schenectady. When we moved to Tennessee, our first year we discovered a yearly production at Clarance Brown Theater. It’s not the first I’ve attended this program without him, last year, he was in the hospital so some family members joined me. But I expected he’d be able to join me this year.

This weekend I’ll be going to Biltmore for their Christmas display…another tradition with Norm. We would often go to Newport, RI for Christmas at the mansions there. I’ll have family with me, but it will be bitter sweet.

There are more events coming up for the season, one’s that I’ve shared with Norm or that he’s encouraged me to do. I’m walking one step at a time and entering each day as it comes. God is faithful!

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for these events that allow me to focus on the joy of the season, and remember some joyful times that Norm and I shared.

I pray for my friends who like me, are facing this season after the loss of a loved one. We can rest in the hope that Jesus Christ brought with his birth, they are rejoicing in heaven with the Lord.

I rejoice in the hope that came with the coming of the Messiah, and the promise that He will always be with us.

Where’s the joy? Joy to the World, the Lord has come.

Jesus’ Birth in Bethlehem
Now in those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus, that a census be taken of all the inhabited earth. This was the first census taken while Quirinius was governor of Syria.
And everyone was on his way to register for the census, each to his own city.
Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, in order to register along with Mary, who was engaged to him, and was with child.
While they were there, the days were completed for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son; and she wrapped Him in cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
In the same region there were some shepherds staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened.
But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.
“This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”
And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased.”
When the angels had gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds began saying to one another, “Let us go straight to Bethlehem then, and see this thing that has happened which the Lord has made known to us.”
So they came in a hurry and found their way to Mary and Joseph, and the baby as He lay in the manger.
When they had seen this, they made known the statement which had been told them about this Child. And all who heard it wondered at the things which were told them by the shepherds.
But Mary treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart.
The shepherds went back, glorifying and praising God for all that they had heard and seen, just as had been told them.

Luke 2:1–20

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