Posts Tagged With: joy

Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on August 12, 2025 by tricialathrop

August 11

I’ve been sorting and packing up Norm’s computer gaming gear. I have his photos on discs, thanks to my kids. I haven’t looked at those yet, thousands to sort through. It will take time and more emotional stamina than I have right now.

Going through Norm’s things is an emotional process that I don’t want to do, but necessary.

I’m finished traveling for a few months. There is a lot to be done and I am so good at procrastinating. Little by little I’m coming out of the fog. Each day I’m trying to do at least one thing to move forward.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the memories I have with Norm. We had a good 45 years together, a lot of fun along with a few struggles. I am glad for the sorrow I feel for it reminds me of the love we had.

I pray for courage to move forward and emotional stamina to endure the pain from losing Norm.

I rejoice that whatever comes my way, God will be with me and will take care of me…even when I don’t see His hand at work.

Where’s the joy? Norm is walking with the Lord in His garden, no more pain and no more suffering.

Revelation 21:1–7 (NASB95): The New Heaven and Earth
1 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth passed away, and there is no longer any sea.
2 And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, made ready as a bride adorned for her husband.
3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them,
4 and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.”
5 And He who sits on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” And He said, “Write, for these words are faithful and true.”
6 Then He said to me, “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life without cost.
7 “He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son.

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on July 25, 2025 by tricialathrop

July 24

I keep hoping this is all a bad dream and I will awaken to find Norm still with me.

I drove to Waterrock Knob where we spread his ashes. Unlike that morning, the fog had lifted and I could see the mountains.

Where’s the joy? Some days are tougher than others and it’s difficult to be joyful.

I am thankful for the promises of God which He will keep regardless of how I feel.

I pray for courage to walk each day, remembering that God has a plan for my life moving forward.

I rejoice in the Lord God, for all my hope is in Him.

Where’s the joy? It is found in Christ, regardless of the circumstances. Sometimes it comes easily, other times, it is a choice.

Do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on July 14, 2025 by tricialathrop

July 14

Today would have been Norm’s 69th birthday. Last year we rode the Alpine Loop and enjoyed spending time around the Million Dollar Highway. No sign of anything seriously wrong.

I decided not to stay home and am heading to a writer’s conference. Today I get to meet up with a former pastor. Not sure how well I’ll hold it together, but I’ve learned that it’s okay to cry in front of others…can’t stop the tears anyway.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful that I have outlets for my grief and I don’t have to go it alone.

I pray for strength and wisdom as I walk this week.

I rejoice in the God of my salvation. Because of Jesus’ death and resurrection, Norm is celebrating in heaven with Him, having seen Jesus face to face.

Where’s the joy? It’s in the hope that only Jesus provides.


See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him.
Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.
And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.
Everyone who practices sin also practices lawlessness; and sin is lawlessness.
You know that He appeared in order to take away sins; and in Him there is no sin.

1 John 3:1-5

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on July 11, 2025 by tricialathrop

J

THE UNBIDDEN TEAR

The song, the photo, the kind look

It’s the small things,

And my heart is squeezed by a vise

And the tear falls.

The holidays, the anniversary, the birthday

I’m steeled to make it through the day

But a memory rips through my heart like an eagle’s talon

And the tear falls

Hearing a joke I want to share

Turning to him, but he isn’t there

A dark cloud of loneliness seeps into my heart

And the tear falls.

Sorting through his things

What to keep? What to give away?

Each memory pierces through the wall I’ve built

And the tear falls.

The memories are good. 

Friends and family stand near

The love of the Lord envelops me in a warm hug

And still, the tear falls.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for all the memories of Norm, even though right now they evoke tears, they are good memories.

I pray for my friends who have cancer or are walking through cancer with a loved one. Carol and Mark, Carl and Paula, Don and Darlene, Mark and Kym, Donna and Dan

I rejoice that God’s love remains, at times it takes everything within us to stand in that love…and He remains faithful to us through it all.

Where’s the joy? My great-nephews and I have a mini golf challenge going for the summer. They get me out of the house for a day of fun.

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. 

He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. 

On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. 

Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah 

Ps 62:5–8.

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on July 3, 2025 by tricialathrop

July 3

Norm’s birthday is coming up. So I’ve been thinking a lot about his last birthday. He seemed healthy, and we had a great time.

We traveled to Lake City in Colorado, a place to stay if you want to do the Alpine Loop. He rented an off-highway vehicle (OHV) and we drove on the narrow, dirt roads with multiple tight hairpin turns. He offered to let me drive, but I said no…I didn’t want to be the one to miscalculate the edge of the road and end up tumbling down the mountain. Granted, we did have roll bars, but who wants to have to use them?

July is a good time to visit. The mountain flowers can be seen in their full glory…of course it’s a brief glory, and we hit it at prime color last year.

We drove to Silverton one day, we liked to have lunch and shop there. As we left lunch, hail began to fall. We figured it would be short lived, no bad weather was expected. We watched the hail build up, looked like snow…enough to build a snowman. We still had to go back over the mountains, on those narrow roads…now covered with snow and hail. Norm took it slow and we got some beautiful pictures.

We visited an old gold mine, some ghost towns, and took a gondola ride up the side of a mountain along the Million Dollar Highway…steep, but not narrow and paved all the way. I drove that one.

We didn’t know that would be the last time. He was looking forward to talking the kids into joining us one summer.

Within a month, his health took a downturn. We didn’t suspect cancer at all…lyme disease, possibly…but not cancer. By the end of August he hardly had the strength to leave the house and it took 3 months to discover the cancer.

This is ending up being as tough as our anniversary. The memory of his strength and stamina, his joy of driving in the mountains, his joy in photography of nature…very real as I remember our trip last year.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful that I chose to go with him last year…one never knows when it will be the last.

I pray for those who are facing an unknown or cancer diagnosis, that they will be given the strength to endure, and some times of joy in the midst of it.

I rejoice that God gives us joyful memories, and sometimes allows the rough times to fade so that the best remains.

Where’s the joy? I have been able to enjoy some very special memories. Though they are tinged with grief, they are great memories.

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits;
Who pardons all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases;
Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;
Who satisfies your years with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.
The Lord performs righteous deeds
And judgments for all who are oppressed.
He made known His ways to Moses,
His acts to the sons of Israel.
The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.
He will not always strive with us,
Nor will He keep His anger forever.
He has not dealt with us according to our sins,
Nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him.
As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
Just as a father has compassion on his children,
So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.
For He Himself knows our frame;
He is mindful that we are but dust.
As for man, his days are like grass;
As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.
When the wind has passed over it, it is no more,
And its place acknowledges it no longer.
But the lovingkindness of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him,
And His righteousness to children’s children,
To those who keep His covenant
And remember His precepts to do them.
The Lord has established His throne in the heavens,
And His sovereignty rules over all.
Bless the Lord, you His angels,
Mighty in strength, who perform His word,
Obeying the voice of His word!
Bless the Lord, all you His hosts,
You who serve Him, doing His will.
Bless the Lord, all you works of His,
In all places of His dominion;
Bless the Lord, O my soul!

Psalm 103

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on June 28, 2025 by tricialathrop

June 28

Some advice: If your spouse dies before you, do not take their name off the bank account for about six months. When the checks come in their name, you can deposit them if the person’s name is still on the account. Fortunately, those who sent a check have been willing to reissue a check in my name.

I had a great week at Hilton Head. My room faced the ocean, I could walk in the waves in the morning and evening, refreshing and relaxing. My daughter came with my grandkids. We had fun at the pool and the beach. My son came for a couple of days. We went to Harbor Town and played some miniature golf, as well as walking the beach. I saw my other daughter on the way home. All good.

One morning as I walked, I saw a crowd of people. Hilton Head has a turtle trot every Wednesday over the summer. A large group stood ready to run the 5K. One of the boys took off like a shot, leading the group. He won, perhaps he led the whole way.

The young man who impressed me encouraged the other runners. I watched him speak to each one as he passed them, or if they passed him. “You’re doing great. Keep going. You can do this.”

That’s who I want to be. Not out front running on my own, but in the midst of the pack, sometimes ahead, sometimes behind, but always giving words of encouragement.

I realized, that takes intentionality. It doesn’t happen naturally. I get moody. My expectations aren’t met. Life happens and my focus changes.

As I walked, I pondered how to make it happen.

  1. When I was a young mom, a couple, Wayne and Ginny Gasper, at our church wrote notes to people. Their note would always start off with, “You’ve won our prayer lottery for today. We prayed for you.” And then a note that encouraged me. An older woman, Betty Sisson, wrote notes to missionaries and those who helped at the church. Just a few minutes each day, and I can encourage at least one person a day.
  2. When Norm got ill, I stepped aside from leading a Bible Study. I am so thankful for Vickie who stepped in to lead it while I took care of Norm. She did a great job and the group continued. They’re taking the summer off, so I’m going to catch up in my own study to where they are, and begin again in the fall. Meanwhile, we will meet a few times over the summer to connect and to pray.
  3. I also stepped aside from singing in a local women’s chorus. There were more issues going on than Norm’s illness, and Norm told me not to return to that group. But, I enjoy singing at nursing homes and rehab centers, so will be joining a group that does that.
  4. And lastly, I want to be intentional about my writing. This blog has been therapy for me, and I think it has been encouraging to others. I also write Bible studies and devotionals. I’m going to a writer’s conference in a few weeks. I want to get back to attending the local Word Weavers group.

Tonight, I feel good. I’ve had some good cries yesterday and today. I’m missing Norm’s humor, his insights, his support. I know more tough days lie ahead, but right now, I feel positive about what lies ahead.

I am thankful for God’s grace and for the gift of hope that He gives each day.

I pray for the persistence to be intentional in following Christ, encouraging others and living life to the fullest.

I rejoice in the Lord who saves. Without Him, there is no hope.

Where’s the joy? It is in the Lord God Almighty, maker of heaven and earth.

Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth.
Serve the Lord with gladness; Come before Him with joyful singing.
Know that the Lord Himself is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
Enter His gates with thanksgiving And His courts with praise.
Give thanks to Him, bless His name.
For the Lord is good; His lovingkindness is everlasting
And His faithfulness to all generations.

Psalm 100

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on June 24, 2025 by tricialathrop

June 23

June 21 would have been our 45th anniversary. I didn’t want to be home, so decided I wanted a place where I can view the ocean, go out the backdoor and be at the beach within 100 yards. So I found a place in Hilton Head and came.

I have a beautiful view, a nice ocean breeze, and shade enough of the day to make the balcony comfortable.

Aimee, Sierra and Sawyer came to spend the day with me so I wouldn’t be alone.

First thing in the morning, before they arrived, I went out to walk along the shoreline, allowing the waves to wash against my ankles, and occasionally having to wade through a tidal pool as the tide receded.

It reminded me of a visit to Hawaii…where Norm and I considered going for our 45th. I came with the girls, and would call Norm from my morning walk on the beach. He joked about not being able to come on the girl’s trip, and teased me about teasing him with my morning beach walk.

He came to the ocean or on cruises because I enjoyed them. I went to the mountains and off roading because he enjoyed them. We had our preferences, but shared each other’s joys.

When he came to the beach he would often take pictures of pelicans. He tried to catch them in their dive. But he had a number of photos of them just soaring above the water.

On our anniversary, there were not just a few pelicans, but flocks of them that flew over all day. It seemed that they were on parade above us. I saw it as a God-wink, God letting me know in abundance that he had his eye on me. Since then, I’ve seen a few and only solo or in pairs, not a flock flying overhead.

So, for those of you praying because you knew it would be a tough day. Thank you. I cried, but overall it was a good day. God remains faithful.

And the Lord will continually guide you,
And satisfy your desire in scorched places,
And give strength to your bones;
And you will be like a watered garden,
And like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.

Isaiah 58:11

I am thankful that God gave me a God-wink, a reminder that He has his eye and his hand on my life.

I pray for wisdom as I walk this path, that I will be able to share with others the hope that is in Jesus Christ.

I rejoice that God remains faithful.

Where’s the joy? God has given me good memories. We had a great 45 years.

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on June 20, 2025 by tricialathrop

June 20

Tough week! Started with spreading Norm’s ashes at an overlook on the Blue Ridge Parkway. Followed by daily turning to speak to Norm and realizing he’s not here.

Then yesterday I went to get my mammogram and bone density tests. Those took place in the place where Norm had his final pet scan that showed that the cancer was mostly gone and the treatment was working. Then the receptionist asked if I was married…not anymore, widow. She came from behind the desk to give me a hug…I couldn’t hold the tears back.

Tomorrow would have been our 45th anniversary. Pre cancer we had plans to return to Hawaii. My girls and grands are coming to spend some time with me tomorrow, so I don’t have to face it alone.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the memories that I have with Norm, and that I miss him. How sad to not miss the one you love.

I pray for courage for the next few days, and for wisdom to walk this path I did not choose.

I rejoice that God provides all I need, sometimes before I realize what I need.

Where’s the joy? It’s in the memories, lots of good memories.

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on June 17, 2025 by tricialathrop

June 16

Yesterday we scattered Norm’s ashes at Water Rock Knob on the Blue Ridge Parkway. Norm enjoyed the drive on that road. Pre cancer, he would go every couple of weeks to hike and take pictures. It seemed appropriate to spread his ashes where he loved to be.

We arrived shortly after sunrise, but there was no view due to the early morning fog and mist. While a spectacular view would have been nice, a misty day fit my heart. And Norm never minded the fog, he could find something to photograph and make it look awesome.

It was harder than I expected…even though I’m not sure what I expected. It felt final. I don’t know how to deal with that feeling.

My children, Jennifer, Aimee and Robert came along with my grandchildren, Sierra and Sawyer and Jennifer’s boyfriend, Ideen. His brother Brian came. My sister came with her boyfriend, Jim. All of them had a special relationship with Norm.

After the emotional morning, we went out for breakfast, Norm’s favorite eat out meal. Then we went to play miniature golf, our family tradition at all events, followed by ice cream. Great memories.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the life of love and joy that I had with Norm. He was a great husband and friend.

I pray for wisdom as I continue to walk this path I would not have chosen.

I rejoice that Norm touched so many lives with his unique view of life, his stories and his photos.

Where’s the joy? This week it is all in the memories.

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on June 11, 2025 by tricialathrop

June 10

It’s only been three months, but feels much longer.

Yesterday, Norm’s college friends got together to plant two trees. One in memory of Norm, the other in memory of Linda. Like me, she joined the group post college because she fell in love with one of the friends. Linda was a later addition to the group, but made a big impact in the short time we had together.

These friends reached out often to Norm and to me with words, cards, gifts of encouragement. He began to call them his “forever friends”. Linda reached out often because she experienced and survived the same cancer as Norm, she gave him hope in the fight. Unfortunately, her cancer returned and she passed away just a few weeks after Norm.

We planted the trees on Debbie’s property, where the group has met for the last few years since Covid. It was a beautiful tribute to Norm and Linda. Lots of memories of the joy and laughter they brought to all our lives…and tears, for the loss of their joy and laughter.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for these friends of Norm who became my friends.

I pray for my family and friends, that they will come to know the grace of the Lord.

We have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; being strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy; giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.

He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

Colossians 1:9-14

I rejoice that God provides people to walk with us on earth, to bring encouragement, joy and sometimes a challenge.

Where’s the joy? It’s in the friends and people around me, God’s gift to help me walk this path.

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