February 25
I came today expecting an easy day. The pain meds worked yesterday…
On the 23rd they moved Norm out of ICU to the PCU…one step away from ICU, still a lot of monitoring, but not as intensive as the ICU. Here I have a somewhat comfortable chair, at least it reclines. There’s a little more space for personal items.
The move was a bit of an adjustment, but Norm got comfortable as he could. Improved, but a long way to go.
Yesterday, I got a text from Norm at 4:30 with three crying emojis. I hurried to get ready and went to the hospital. I found him in a lot of pain and very fearful. He kept saying he wanted the Lord to go ahead and take him so he could walk in the garden with God…his means of trying to cope with the pain he was experiencing.
The nurse asked if I had considered end of life comfort care…and yes with all the ups and downs that is something that comes to mind. But at this point, all the evidence says that all the treatments are working…so at this time, no, hospice not an option.
A new hospitalist (new floor) came in and made some comment that set Norm off. He thought this doctor had not read beyond the prior 12 hours and had no idea of his history.
So, for the rest of the day we had all kinds of doctors coming in. The most effective was Dr Jackson with palliative care…my sister emphasizes, not the end of life palliative care. She realized that what he needed was pain management to give his lungs time to heal.
They did some pain management and the rest of the day was great.
Back to today, I had plans for lunch with friends, a much needed break…but the pain management did not go far enough and Norm had severe pain that was not being addressed. He lashed out at everyone and I tried to comfort him…hard to do when someone is in intense pain.
So a readjustment and Norm settled down. He apologized to all he had yelled at. The ones who have been there awhile understood pain anger, but the poor new nurse…it kind of shook her, but she gained some experience and insight as she watched the older nurses handle Norm with kindness and firmness.
Another roller coaster day…I’m feeling stretched to the limit.
Where’s the joy?
I am thankful that the people are caring for Norm and giving him a good chance to recover.
I pray for the support staff who work in the background making sure the nurses and doctors have the freedom to work with the patients in a clean and safe environment.
I rejoice that God remains faithful.
For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. Trust in him at all time, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Psalm 62:5-8
Where’s the joy? It’s in the faithful people helping others to get better when they are critically ill.