Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on March 31, 2025 by tricialathrop

Norman Douglas Lathrop, 68, passed away peacefully on Thursday, March 6, 2025 at UT Medical Center, with his wife and daughters present. 

Norm was born in Hammond, Indiana to Charles Sumner and Marilyn Francis Lathrop on July 14, 1956. He spent his childhood at Sharon Center, Ohio with his siblings Brian Keith Lathrop and Joyce Ellen Lathrop Davis. He graduated from Highland High School in Medina County, Ohio. He earned a Bachelor of Science degree in Engineering at the University of Kentucky. He was a mechanical engineer for over 30 years, specializing in jet engines, steam, and gas turbines.

Norm loved spending time with his family. He married Patricia Jo Akers Lathrop on June 21, 1980. He often took his children, Jennifer Joy Lathrop, Aimee Elizabeth Lathrop Woodin, and Robert Michael Lathrop on hiking adventures and various museums. He was a doting “Poppop” to Sierra Mae Woodin and Sawyer Robert Woodin whom he entertained with stories of his adventures and those of his children. 

Norm was a man of diverse passions. He explored history, expressed himself through drawing and storytelling, found solace in hiking, and captured beauty through photography. After retiring in 2014, he embarked on a journey to visit every U.S. National Park, successfully completing those in the contiguous United States and Hawaii, along with several in Alaska. His keen eye captured breathtaking landscapes, earning him photography awards. He also dedicated years to crafting detailed Civil War uniforms for 1/6 scale action figures. During the pandemic, he discovered a love for woodworking, creating cherished items for family and friends.

A devout follower of Jesus Christ, Norm shared his faith through teaching Junior High Sunday School, leading Bible studies, and engaging in thoughtful discussions about scripture. In his final days, his deepest longing was to walk and converse with the Lord in His garden.

He expressed profound gratitude for the compassionate care provided by the doctors, nurses, and staff at UT Medical Center, who diligently worked to extend his life.

Norm wanted everyone to know that he fought as hard as he could to survive the cancer. He appreciated all the prayers and good thoughts of his family, friends, and people he did not know. He was amazed and humbled by the love shown by so many.

Norm’s absence will be deeply felt by all who had the privilege of knowing him.

In lieu of flowers, please consider making a donation to the National Park Service, St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, or another charity of your choice.

Yesterday, we had a Celebration of Life service for Norm. It all went beautifully. We displayed some of his artwork, photos, and some artwork by his granddaughter, Sierra.

Several stood to share what Norm had meant to them, and stories of his humor, his storytelling, and his dedication to the Lord. My children spoke of how great he was as a father. His friends spoke of his living life to the fullest and how he encouraged them.

I didn’t speak…couldn’t trust myself to keep it together. But I loved hearing how he ministered and cared for the people around him. After the service, several who had prayed for Norm, but never met him, wished they had met him.

I am amazed that I was able to get through the day. I have a theory: When we come together to honor someone who has died, I think God takes the grief that would fall on the family and spreads it out among all who attend, or who had desired to attend, because the grief on that day would be too much for the spouse or child to bear alone.

I know that the continued prayers of family and friends are giving me the strength I need to get through these first few weeks. There is so much that needs to be done. It’s overwhelming at times.

But the tears are flowing easier now. My family has been a real blessing, my children and siblings have made sure I’m not alone. Twenty-one of us went to one of Norm’s favorite restaurants for lunch, Hot Rods in Alcoa, TN. It was a great time together.

I feel his loss…I cry for me, he’s much better off, walking in the garden with the Lord. God still has more for me here.

I read Norm’s pondering while he was in the midst of chemo, and it looked like he was going to survive and be able to get out and do. His question, “What will I do with my extra days?”

As I continue on this road as a widow, it is a question for my own life. “What will I do with the days that God has granted me?”

He who watches the wind will not sow and he who looks at the clouds will not reap.

Just as you do not know the path of the wind and how bones are formed in the womb of the pregnant woman, so you do not know the activity of God who makes all things.

Sow your seed in the morning and do not be idle in the evening, for you do not know whether morning or evening sowing will succeed, or whether both of them alike will be good.

Ecclesiastes 11:4-6

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for all the people who came to Norm’s Celebration of Life, to share what they knew of Norm, or to support me and my family in this time of grief.

I pray for wisdom to walk this path, allowing myself to grieve, but not to shut myself off from the people whom God will place in my path, either for my benefit, or theirs.

I rejoice that God’s plan is good and He will be faithful to me and my family as we walk this path of grief.

Where’s the joy? I find joy in the people that God has placed in my life, family and friends, and others I have not met as yet.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on March 28, 2025 by tricialathrop

March 28

Tomorrow is the Celebration of Life for Norm. Today, I’m stressing a bit, needing to prioritize and decide what to hand off to others…

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for all the friends and family coming in to celebrate the life of Norm.

I pray for wisdom as we prepare.

I rejoice that I was blessed with an awesome man who made me laugh when I stressed.

Where’s the joy? My family and friends who have come.

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. 

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” 

Revelation 21:3–4.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on March 26, 2025 by tricialathrop

March 25

I finally got through to Norm’s pension plan. I’ve tried to call for over a week and kept getting a busy signal. I found a number on one of the letters he had received, they gave me the number I needed. So I think I’m set, I’ll know if it all went through in a few weeks.

Then while doing taxes, I found that I needed a form from a financial company. They said click on this link to get the form. I needed an account number and a password, which I could not find. I called the number on the site. Since I didn’t have the required information, they said I needed to email another group for them to get permission to give me the form I needed…and that group said they no longer handled that particular financial issue. So…what to do?

I’ve handled our finances for quite a while. In fact, I was trying to make sure Norm knew where all the accounts and numbers and passwords were located. I thought I had what I needed for Norm’s accounts, but no. Suggestion for those of you with a spouse, make sure there is a copy of all your accounts and all passwords in a place that your spouse can find and that you have the same from your spouse.

As I deal with the financial aspect of Norm’s passing, this Saturday we will have a celebration of his life. I went through his memory box and found some high school memorabilia and some of his award photos and a newspaper article about him. I need to figure out the best way to display those…but there are a few things missing from his college days. I’ll have to see if there is another box somewhere.

It’s been a busy day, some success, some failures. Tears come at unexpected times. I miss Norm’s presence. I miss his wisdom. I know he’s in a better place, doesn’t make me miss him any less.

Where’s the joy? Not in paperwork…

I am thankful that I finally got through to Norm’s pension.

I pray for wisdom as I plan the service for Saturday, that it will honor the Lord, and celebrate the life Norm led.

I rejoice that God knows what I need and has it all under control.

For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?

Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?

And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?

And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!

Do not worry then, saying, “What will we eat?” or “What will we drink?” or “What will we wear for clothing?” For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your Heavenly Father knows that you need these things.

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:25-34

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on March 23, 2025 by tricialathrop

March 22

I came to see my grandchildren, Sierra and Sawyer. It’s been seven months since I have seen them in person. We’ve done some video chats, and while that is better than nothing, nothing replaces the personal touch. One of Norm’s greatest griefs, he did not see or hug his grandchildren since he got sick.

But before that, we had them with us for a full week of fun and laughter. We were able to visit them for Sawyer’s birthday…after that, video chats only…in the last few months, video recordings from them to their Poppop.

It’s bittersweet. Each event, playtime, eating…all remind me of what they lost in their Poppop. He played with them wholeheartedly, entering their imaginative play without hesitation. He switched scenarios with them as they brought new challenges to light.

They went on bear hunts, played hospital with all the stuffed animals, managed zoos, went to school, had great adventures of every kind.

They know he is gone, I know that because not once did they ask when Poppop was coming. Their conversations of him were sweet, filled with the laughter that signified their times with Poppop.

Tears welled up in my eyes, and now flow as I consider the loss to my grandchildren of their Poppop who loved them and would do anything for them.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for all the times Sierra and Sawyer had with Poppop. They have some physical reminders, a clubhouse, a mud kitchen and a climbing wall which he built for them.

I pray for them, that they will come to know the Lord and to follow Him as Norm loved the Lord.

I rejoice that the memories are good.

Where’s the joy? It is in the laughter and joy of youth, who rejoice each day in all that life brings their way…and can always find the good in it.

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and said, “Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives ones such child in My name receives Me;” Matthew 7:1-5

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on March 21, 2025 by tricialathrop

I’m a widow. In just one day I changed my demographic, no longer married…a widow.

It’s not like I’m going to run around and tell people, “I’m a widow now”. I will comment about my husband, sharing stories of our life together. But for the rest of my life on those forms we fill out ad nauseam, I will have to mark “widow”.

For some reason this realization is hitting me hard. It’s weird. It identifies me as someone who was once married, but is no longer because of death. And I’m not sure how to deal with it.

The term, widow, draws up images of “Gone With the Wind” and the Scarlett dancing in her widow’s garb. In the English movies, the widow is either a scheming bitter woman who speaks poorly about everyone, or a senseless dowager who needs constant watching.

There are some widows in the Bible. Naomi, who called herself Mara, because of bitterness, but had the grace to find provision for her widowed daughter-in-law Ruth.

The widow of Naan, for whom Jesus raised her son to life. In those days children took care of their widowed mothers and if she didn’t have that protection, she could be reduced to begging. Jesus gave her not only her son, but her provision.

Anna dwelled in the temple for 70 years as a widow, and gave witness to Jesus Christ as the Messiah alongside Simeon.

Jesus praised the widow, who in her need, gave all she had to the Lord.

The only non-widow in the women mentioned in Jesus’ genealogy was Mary, his mother. But by the time Jesus began his ministry, she was a widow.

The prophets criticized the leaders of Israel for not taking care of the widows or orphans and not hearing their causes. Jesus commented that the leadership of his day “devoured” widows houses (Mark 12:40). James tells us that caring for widows and orphans in their affliction is a part of pure and undefiled religion.

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. James 1:27

In America today, most widows are not as reliant on their children as in the past. Most have Social Security or a pension, either from their own job or their husband’s. Of course, this does not apply to all widows, some do need to rely on their children or the state for their provision and care.

Now that I am a widow, I see that I didn’t see the needs of the widows, not that I ignored them or didn’t help…I just wasn’t aware of some needs.

1 Timothy 5 gives some guidelines for caring for widows. The first responsibility falls to the family, children and grandchildren. Then it falls to the church. Younger widows were encouraged to remarry.

There are cautions mentioned: don’t be idle, don’t go from house to house just being idle, don’t become gossips or busybodies talking about things not worth mentioning. (1 Timothy 5:13)

As a widow, I am to fix my hope on God and continue in entreaties and prayers. I am to be devoted good works, showing hospitality to strangers, assisting those in distress, serving the Lord in the church, teaching the young women…all the things I should have been doing all along…

Paul also has guidelines for the widows and the single women. As an unmarried woman now, I can focus more on the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit.

The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 1 Corinthians 7:24

I am a widow, and in that role I have some responsibilities before the Lord. It should be interesting to see where this path takes me.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the people who have rallied around me during this time of grieving and readjustment.

I pray for wisdom and courage to walk in the path that the Lord has set before me.

I rejoice that God cares for those who are needy and somewhat helpless, so much so that he calls his people to care for the broken and hurting.

Where’s the joy? The Lord continues to have a purpose for my life and will reveal his plan as I seek His face.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on March 19, 2025 by tricialathrop

March 18

I woke yesterday fully realizing that Norm is no longer here. I did what I needed to do, in a fog. The tears came freely all through the day. One friend told me that mourning will not be denied. When we love much, the pain of loss will be greater.

I’ve lost my best friend, the love of my life, my wise advisor, and my companion who makes me laugh. We’ve had a lot of adventures over the years…we had several more planned that won’t happen. The sorrow over my loss that hits me stops me in my tracks.

Someone once told me that the grief of a loved one never goes away. However, the grief does get surrounded and cushioned as we walk through each day. But at any time, by any person, and in any place that cushion will be pierced and the grief will come flooding back.

I’m taking it one day at a time. All who have walked this way before me tell me it takes time…and everyone moves through grief on different schedules. I feel blessed that so many people are praying and encouraging me. I can’t imagine doing this without friends and family.

I am thankful for the doctors who gave me an extra four months with the Norm I married, the one who made me laugh.

I pray for my kids and grandkids as we all process this loss.

I rejoice that God is faithful each and every day.

Where’s the joy? Today it is in the encouragement of those around me.

Praise the Lord! Praise, O servants of the Lord, Praise the name of the Lord.

Blessed be the name of the Lord from this time forth and forever.

From the rising of the sun to its setting the name of the Lord is to be praised.

The Lord is high above all nations; His glory is above the heavens.

Who is like the Lord our God, Who is enthroned on high, Who humbles Himself to behold the things that are in heaven and in the earth?

He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap, to make them sit with princes, with the princes of His people.

He makes the barren woman abide in the house as a joyful mother of children.

Praise the Lord!

Psalm 113

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , | Leave a comment

Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on March 17, 2025 by tricialathrop

March 16

I went to church this morning. I haven’t been since Norm started his chemo treatments. I debated going since a while back a widow told me it was hard for her to go. She didn’t want to face all the questions. She didn’t want to face all the faces that were sympathetic. She didn’t want to go alone.

Lower attendance due to spring break, so not so many sympathetic eyes and questions. I received very sincere hugs. I cried. I sang and tried to worship. I cried some more. I listened to a sermon about the battle belonging to the Lord and the importance of praise.

I’m still a bit numb. I don’t feel like Norm is really gone, I feel like he’s just away on one of his camping trips. I think I mentioned that in an earlier post.

Am I in denial, delaying emotional breakdown that will accompany the reality of my loss?

Am I purposely distracting myself so I don’t have to face the loss?

Am I putting my emotions on a shelf so that I can do what needs to be done?

Am I afraid to allow myself to let the emotions flow?

Today I was reminded of the need for music in my life. Songs of worship will remind me of the Lord and what He can do in my life. Songs of love and romance will remind me of the love Norm and I shared. Songs of sorrow will allow the tears of loss to flow freely. Songs of joy will remind me that I have much to be thankful for.

This mourning process will take time. We all face it differently, we all face it in God’s timing.

There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven–A time to give birth and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted. A time to kill and a time to heal; a time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance. A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace and a time to shun embracing. A time to search and a time to give up as lost; a time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear apart and a time to sew together; a time to be silent and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.

I am thankful for the support and encouragement of those who have walked this path before me.

I pray that I will see beyond myself, to give support to those who need it.

I rejoice that God is worthy of all praise and honor.

Where’s the joy? It’s in the music.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on March 15, 2025 by tricialathrop

March 14

I went through some of Norm’s items. I’m finally unpacking what I brought home from the hospital. It reminded me of what a roller coaster the last five weeks have been. It not only held items for his hospital stay, but also clothes for him to wear when he came home.

Sometimes, it’s as if he’s just away on one of his camping trips, at any minute he could walk through the door…but then, the reality of his being gone hits. Lunch with a friend and a few card games with my nephew provided some distraction, but the reality is always with me.

The memories are all good. I know there were times Norm frustrated me, but what I wouldn’t give to have him back, even on the most frustrating of days.

I’m preparing for his Celebration of his life. I love looking at it that way instead of as a memorial or funeral. He blessed a lot of people. His photos took people to places they could not go on their own. His storytelling never failed to entertain. He could talk to anyone about pretty much anything, his knowledge covered a number of topics.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the extra four months with Norm that the Lord gave to me through the effort of several doctors.

I pray for wisdom and courage as I walk this path.

I rejoice that God gives us memories to enjoy and to share with others.

Where’s the joy? It’s in sharing the stories, not only of Norm, but of what God has done.

Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips will praise You. So I will bless You as long as I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name.

My soul is satisfied as with marrow and fatness, and my mouth offers praises with joyful lips.

When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches, for You have been my help, and in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy.

My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me.

Psalm 63:3-8

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on March 13, 2025 by tricialathrop

March 13

One week ago my world turned upside down. Only a week, it seems so much longer.

Robert and I will go to the funeral home today to witness the cremation. My heart is breaking. How can I do this? From what I understand, we don’t have to watch the cremation, I just felt it was important for me to be there…one last goodby.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful that this is not really the end for Norm, I will see him again.

I pray for the strength to make it through today.

I rejoice…rejoicing today a bit tough, but God is faithful.

Where’s the joy? Robert stayed longer than he had planned, so he can go with me.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , | 1 Comment

Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on March 12, 2025 by tricialathrop

March 11

The last few days have been busy with phone calls, texts and funeral arrangements. My children went with me to the funeral home to make some decisions. It’s just hard.

On one hand, I feel like I’ll be heading to the hospital at any time to pick him up and bring him home. And then I realize he’s not here anymore. I’m not sure how I’ll handle it when the kids all leave. Right now, the kids are a distraction and they want things to do to take their minds off the hole that is left in our lives.

I’m still a bit numb and emotionally spent all at the same time.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for my children who have come to stay with me and help me through these first few days.

I pray for wisdom and courage to walk this road. I know there will be ups and downs, I’d like peace in the midst of it all.

I rejoice that Jesus Christ died and rose again so that we do not have to suffer a permanent death, but will be with Him one day.

O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; my should thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

Thus I have seen You in the sanctuary, to see Your power and Your glory.

Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, My lips will praise You, so I will bless You as long as I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name.

Psalm 63:1-4

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

Blog at WordPress.com.