Where’s the Joy?

Posted on December 12, 2024 by tricialathrop

December 11

I didn’t write yesterday. Some days it is tough to process all that happens One day at a time, one foot in front of the other.

After an extra day in the hospital, Norm came home. The care at the hospital is awesome, the TLC shown by each staff member in words and actions goes a long way in minimizing suffering. But it’s not home.

The unfamiliarity, the flickering lights and shadows of the machines, the sounds, alarms…all disturb a sense of rest.

Norm was glad to be home. He looked around and commented on the lack of Christmas decoration, no tree, no nativities. I did pull out our Christmas plates and cups. It’s not been a priority. Since he mentioned it, I’ll get some things out. Definitely more low key this year.

As I wrote this, I thought of a quote from How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss. “And the Grinch with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”

We are definitely having a Christmas without a lot of the ribbons and wrappings. But I think we’ll get back to the heart of Christmas.

I am thankful that Norm is home.

I pray for all who are dealing with devastating illness or disability this season, that they will find times of fun and happiness in the celebration this year.

I rejoice in the Reason for the Season, the coming of the Son of God who died on the cross to bring salvation to all humanity.

And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David, a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. Luke 2:7-14

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might by saved through Him. John 3:16-17

Where’s the joy? The Lord has come!

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on December 10, 2024 by tricialathrop

December 9

Rough day. Norm wanted to come home, but the chemo levels had not reduced enough for him to leave the hospital.

He did so well before and on the chemo that I forgot the after effects that show up on Monday and Tuesday, the discouragement, the emotional let down, the weakness…I know on Wednesday he’ll start climbing out of the pit, but until then he needs an extra boost.

I am grateful for those people who are contacting him, wrapping him virtually in their arms with love and concern, praying for him to keep fighting the cancer. Knowing people are supportive goes a long way. I don’t know how anyone walks this road without the hope that is in Christ. This is a tough road.

I am thankful for the loving support of family, friends, and friends of friends that we do not know.

I pray that Norm will have stamina in body, heart and mind to weather this storm.

I rejoice that God has this all in his hand, even when I don’t sense it.

Where’s the joy? God sends people from all walks of life to encourage both of us, reminding us that he is always there.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:

He leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul:

He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;

Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:

Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalm 23

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on December 9, 2024 by tricialathrop

December 8

Norm was alert enough today to take a few walks around his floor. While we walked we saw a lady, a fellow patient walking alone.

Norm went back to the room and I headed down to the cafeteria. As I exited his room, the lady walked by. I joined her as I headed to the door, but kept going with her instead of exiting. While we walked, she shared her story.

Like Norm, six months ago she was healthy. She danced ballet with a group that ministered in jails using song, dance and theater. She ate the right things, had an active lifestyle…all the good healthy things. But some cancers hit no matter how healthy you are. This one hit hard. It took time, doctors thought it was something else, tests and finally a trip to the ER discovered her cancer.

No one wants a diagnosis of cancer and the need for chemo therapy, radiation, or surgery. But a proper diagnosis will lead to the treatment necessary for healing, whatever one has.

I came away from this encounter thinking that all of us suffer in some way. It could be a broken relationship, illness, job insecurity, or lack thereof, addiction, failure…all of us struggle in some way, it’s the nature of our life on this world.

What we miss? We don’t have to struggle alone. God created us to live in community and he desires that we encourage one another along the way.

No matter where we are in our suffering, we can be an encouragement to another. It costs us nothing to give someone a genuine smile. It may be the encouragement one needs to keep trying.

A kind word goes a long way. The people who serve us in restaurants and stores, a kind word may give them the strength to keep going. That mom with a screaming kid doesn’t need your critical looks and snide remarks…I’ve been there…she’s already embarrassed.

A smile, a kind word, an act of kindness go a long way. If we take a moment to look outside our own box of struggles and show a bit of kindness to another, we will find our own burden a little lighter and perhaps get a spark of joy along the way.

I am thankful for the nurses and staff at UT Medical center floor 5West for their help, attention and kindness that they show to the patients and the families.

I pray for Norm, Donna, Tony and my new friend Cathy who are suffering with the surprise diagnosis of cancer, and enduring the treatments. I pray for their complete healing and strength to endure the treatments and wisdom for the doctors.

I rejoice that God gave us community so that we do not have to suffer alone.

Where’s the joy? Today, I found it in Cathy, a new friend with a great attitude.

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on December 8, 2024 by tricialathrop

December 7

Today, that is a good question for me. It’s been a sad day, lots of tears. I think it’s just part of the ongoing concern. Norm’s doing fine in the hospital, everything is going as planned. He sleeps quite a bit as the chemo works in his body.

Tonight, I went with some family to see “The Christmas Carol”. It’s a well done production at the Clarence Brown Theater in Knoxville.

Before going, I went to my sister’s place. Her dog, Chester, greeted me and just stood there, allowing me to pet him. Then, when I sat down, he came and stayed by me. It’s as if he sensed something wrong, and that I needed a little extra love.

I am thankful for the staff at the hospital who are taking care of Norm tonight.

I pray for the strength, courage and wisdom to endure, for both Norm and me.

I rejoice that God has not forgotten us, and is with us throughout.

Where’s the joy? Tonight, it was having Chester come to be with me.

Remember my affliction and my wandering, the wormwood and bitterness. Surely my soul remembers and is bowed down within me. This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:19-23

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on December 8, 2024 by tricialathrop

December 6

I took Norm to the hospital for his fourth round of chemo. A month ago, I wasn’t sure he’d live. The last few times we’ve been to the hospital, he needed help to get inside to get help. Today, I watched him walk in, steady and sure, while I parked the car.

After the day of chemo, I returned home. I’m feeling drained. I sat and watched some Hallmark movies…Christmas ones of course.

I’m out of survival mode. The adrenalin rush is over. I feel like I’m in a marathon. At the start, there is adrenalin coursing through the body, making sure it’s a good start. At the end, well, the end is in sight and there comes another surge of adrenalin. But here, in the middle section, it’s just remembering to put one foot in front of the other and don’t fall down. Keep drinking water and taking in nutrients.

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-3

Thank you Lord for friends that come alongside to walk this road.

I pray for perseverance as we enter this middle section of treatment.

I rejoice that God has this all under control.

Where’s the joy? Norm walked into the hospital on his own, without any help.

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on December 6, 2024 by tricialathrop

December 5

Tomorrow we head back to the hospital for Norm’s brain chemo. He stays at the hospital for at least two days. We see evidence the chemo works. Norm has more energy than he had from August to October. He no longer tries to scratch his skin off. I am grateful for our medical community that works to remove the cancer, and those researchers who go to work each day in order to find a complete cure.

I’m taking joy in these days of reprieve. Three more months of chemo to go, but trying to take them one day at a time.

I am thankful for the medical community that stepped in to save Norm’s life.

I pray for the researchers to continue to discover more effective and less painful ways to battle cancer.

I rejoice that God is in control. He knows what I cannot see, and has a plan. “‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.'” Jeremiah 29:11-13.

A lot of people quote this verse about the good plans that God has for their lives, they don’t realize that God said this to the people just before they went into 70 years of captivity in Babylon. I take comfort in this. Norm has nine more chemo treatments. He’s captive to the cancer in his body. But God still has a good plan for him, a future and a hope. It includes a promise that God will hear and God will be found.

Where’s the joy? Today, Norm and I had lunch with some friends of ours.

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on December 5, 2024 by tricialathrop

December 4

Last night I went to choir rehearsal for the Nativity Pageant. It’s a yearly event here in Knoxville, free to all who want to come As we rehearsed “O Come All You Unfaithful” by Lisa Clow and Bob Kauflin, I cried.

You’ve probably heard “O Come All Ye Faithful”, a more familiar carol. It’s a joyful, jubilant song calling us to worship the King of Kings, Jesus Christ the Lord.

In contrast, “O Come All You Unfaithful” calls the broken, the weary, the imperfect, those in pain to come to the Good Shepherd, who shows compassion on those in need. Our ability to come to the Lord is not based on our goodness or how put together we appear. Our coming to the Lord is based on his death and resurrection. We cannot be good enough.

Before Norm’s illness, I bopped along with plans for this holiday season. I did procrastinate, but no big issues. It did not take long for it all to flip on end: Things I enjoyed…cancelled, groups I led…handed off to another. My self sufficiency totally out the window, and I never know when my emotions will bottom out and tears will well up.

God’s faithfulness overrides my issues. Jesus Christ desires those who are unworthy to come to Him, He is worthy. Jesus Christ calls the unloved to come to Him, for He is the standard for unconditional love. Jesus Christ calls those who walk in darkness to come to Him, for He is the Light of the World. Jesus Christ calls the sinner to come to Him, for He is righteousness. Christ calls those who are lost to come to Him, He is the Way. Christ calls the sick to come to Him, He will rise with healing in His wings.

My Thanks: Jesus has provided all I need through his life, death and resurrection. He always intercedes for me.

Surely our griefs He Himself bore, and our sorrows He carried; Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, and by His scourging we are healed.

All of us like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way;

But the Lord has caused the iniquity of us all to fall on Him. Isaiah 53:4-6

My Prayer: As Norm and I walk this road, I pray that we will be able to encourage and support those we meet who are in need. And that we will always pray and express gratitude for those who minister to us.

Rejoice: I rejoice that Jesus came to earth as the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. He took my sins and sorrow to the cross and paid the debt of my sin, in full.

Where’s the joy? Music, the upbeat and the songs that make me think of who Christ is. Music calms the troubled soul.

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on December 4, 2024 by tricialathrop

December 3

Norm is on the upside of the chemo cycle. Some of his college friends came for a few hours and he enjoyed his time with them, fortunately I like them too, so, a good day for all. It felt like a normal day. We laughed, we talked, we went out to eat.

But there is a shadow that hangs over the good days. He will suffer another round of chemo on Friday, and it will take time to recover from the treatment. I’m trying to take this one day at a time and rest in the reprieve, two more days…Jesus knows we have trouble living day to day.

For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; for for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?

Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?

And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.

But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!

Do not worry then, saying, “What will we eat?” or “WHat will we drink?” or “What will we wear for clothing?”

For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you

So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:25-34

I’ve never considered myself a worrier, and yet this illness of Norm’s sometimes has me tied up in knots. I really have no control over the outcome, but God does. I can be faithful to support Norm, provide his needs, encourage and pray. Sometimes the support is just listening. All else is in the hand of God.

Thanks: We had a good day today, full of joy and laughter.

Prayer: For Norm to continue to gain back some strength before his next round of chemo.

Rejoice: That God cares for us and knows all that we need. He is working in ways we cannot see.

Where’s the joy? The joy is knowing that God has all this in his hand.

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on December 3, 2024 by tricialathrop

December 2

Today, I had my husband back. Norm got up and moved around and joked with me. It’s a rare event since cancer entered our lives. I know he has a long way to go, but each day of respite is a delight.

Throughout this challenge, we have been supported, encouraged and prayed for by family and friends all over the US.

Before the diagnosis, Norm’s pain and overall body itching never stopped. He wanted to claw out of his skin. He was angry at God who could heal him, but chose not to. He knew people prayed for him, but in his mind, the prayers did no good. He walked in the darkness of pain and despair. Like a black hole, time seemed to stand still as he circled round and round without hope, closer and closer to the pit of absolute, overwhelming despair.

The prayers that Norm considered useless served as safety harnesses, holding him back from the pit, keeping him from giving up all hope. They not only kept him from falling, they pulled him back towards the light, eventually allowing him to see the light and restoring his hope. He recognized that the prayers lifted him up and that he was not alone in this walk.

Our prayers are powerful for those in need, piercing through the darkness, supporting the one who cannot see. A prayer at the right time delivers the mind and soul, drawing back the broken and feeble, who cannot survive on their own.

Thanks: I am grateful for family, friends, and those we do not know who have prayed and continue to pray for Norm and as we battle this cancer. I am also grateful for those who send kind thoughts and words of encouragement and support our way.

Prayer: Strength, wisdom, courage and hope as we continue this path God has chosen for us. Though tough days lie ahead, with the possibility of more despair, we pray that our hope does not diminish and remains near at hand.

Rejoice: Today, I rejoice that my husband had a day of hope and laughter.

Where’s the joy? It’s easier to be joyful when things go well. But we live in a world filled with broken people, and there will be times when things won’t go well. My joy is in the hope that is in Jesus Christ.

For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body.

For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope: for who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.

In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified.

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?

Who will bring a charge against God’s elect? God is the one who justifies; who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us.

Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

Just as it is written, “For Your sake we are being put to death all day long; We were considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:22-39

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on December 2, 2024 by tricialathrop

December 1

Christmas comes with great joy and anticipation. The joyful narrative of Jesus’ birth, announced with the joyful words of the angels. “For unto us a child is born in the city of David, a savior who is Christ the Lord.” Children and adults sing joyful carols like “Joy to the World”, “Angels We Have Heard on High”, “Deck the Halls” and “Jingle Bells” everywhere we go. Our eyes delight in the colors of the season, red, green, gold, silver and rich blues and purples, even the whimsical pink ornaments. We joyfully give and receive gifts.

It’s my favorite time of the year. But this year will be different.

One month ago, the doctor revealed that my husband, Norm, after months of testing, had the dreaded C-word. It’s an aggressive cancer that requires aggressive treatment, three rounds of chemo in the last four weeks.

In the last four months, we’ve seen plan after plan fall to the wayside. Norm’s trip to photograph canyons and mountains in the west, fell to the wayside as he grew weaker and weaker. Plans to go north and see the fall colors in Vermont and follow the peak colors along the Blue Ridge Parkway and all through the Smokies, vaporized as we searched for answers. Christmas plans to celebrate the holiday with our children and grandchildren won’t happen until his treatment is complete. Norm will miss our traditional holiday events, “The Christmas Carol”, a play we’ve seen for the last 30 years…except for the Covid years, The Nativity Pageant, the lighting of the town Christmas Tree. While I’ll be able to participate in some of these events, it will be without him.

Where’s the joy? For a time, I focused on the losses of missed events and family connections. I continue to watch my husband struggle in health and attitude. My faith is challenged, knowing God can miraculously remove the cancer from his body, but has chosen to allow Norm to go through the pain of chemo.

So this year for the Advent season, I decided to search for joy and to write each day. It’s an unknown path, with an unknown result and there may be days I miss.

A verse that keeps coming to mind during this journey: “Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.

My thanks for today: From September to October, Norm endured test after test. Along the way, doctors recognized his need for answers. Each one had a part in getting the ball rolling and keeping at it until an answer was reached. The oncologist sent him immediately to the hospital, where they discovered the cancer had advanced faster than anticipated. I am grateful for the doctors, nurses and support staff at the University of Tennessee Hospital cancer unit. Their care and concern is far above what I expected. My husband is alive today because of the care and intervention of these doctors: Dr. Semeco, Dr. Hayes, Dr. Wheeler, and Dr. Cutrer.

Prayer: That God will miraculously remove the cancer from Norm’s body. But if he chooses not to, prayer that Norm will have the strength of body, mind and spirit to endure and let the chemo do it’s work against the cancer with minimal side effects. We have two friends who are also traveling the cancer journey at this time, Tony and Donna, that they will find healing and refreshing as they walk the path before them.

Rejoice: Jesus Christ came into the world to live as a human. He revealed the character of God in his words and action. He suffered and died on the cross to provide a way for us to experience a relationship with God. While he walked among the people, he had compassion and mercy for all who suffered He healed the sick, delivered the oppressed, declared and demonstrated the love of God for all humanity.

Where’s the joy? “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him will not perish, but have everlasting life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him.” John 3:16-17.

Could God have delivered Norm from the cancer miraculously? yes. Why didn’t he? I don’t know. This I do know, God loves Norm and has him in the palm of his hand.

Despite the circumstances, I can have joy because the God who created all things, loves Norm and loves me.

In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, obtaining as the outcome of your faith the salvation of your souls. 1 Peter 1:6-9

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