Posts Tagged With: tears

Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on June 9, 2025 by tricialathrop

June 8

It’s the little things that get ya.

I dreamed about Norm last night. We were enjoying talking while sitting under a lilac tree and then I was in an office having to tell them my emergency contact…not Norm…rude awakening.

All day it was the little things: Walking in the shower and not having to change the shower head. Going to the living room and not seeing Norm sitting at the computer. The conversations, the holding hands, sharing the mundane things of life…

It seems I’m moving forward and a little thing will reach out and slam me to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably.

I don’t like being a widow. It’s painful. It’s messy. It’s unpredictable.

Norm’s college friends are planting a tree in memory of Norm. Next weekend the kids and I will be spreading Norm’s ashes along the Blue Ridge Parkway…one of his favorite photo places. More tears expected.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the memories. I’ve probably put that down a lot of times, but memories are important, they remind me of the good times we had, even on days when we did nothing special.

I pray for the upcoming week of celebrating Norm, not really sure how or what to pray, but the Lord is faithful and He will give us what we need.

I rejoice that God is faithful to answer prayers, even those we don’t know we need. He arranged it so I can be at the planting of the tree.

Where’s the joy? I can rest in the fact that God is taking care of the details and providing joyful moments even in the sorrow.

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! 

Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing! 

Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. 

Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! 

For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations. 

Psalm 100:1–5.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on April 18, 2025 by tricialathrop

April 17

Tough week. The reality of Norm’s death hits me everyday. My friends who are widows say that it will get better…they know…they’ve been there.

I’ve started a new Bible study on hope because right now, hope is my lifeline. My hope is in God, who is my salvation. Tomorrow we celebrate, actually we remember the death of Christ on the cross. He took all our sins and all our sorrows, dying and paying the penalty for our sins and rejection of the creator God. Sunday, we celebrate His resurrection. He came to give us life, eternal life.

Because of what Christ did on the cross…I have hope. Hope that God will guide me while I remain here on earth, hope that I will see Norm again when I go to walk with God in the garden.

I read Psalm 42 today.

As the deer pants for the streams of water, so my soul pants for You, O God.

Our spiritual self needs God in our lives, just as our physical self needs water. Sometimes dehydration sneaks up on us, we aren’t aware of how thirsty we are, but there will come a time when the thirst cannot be denied.

My soul thirsts for God, for the Living God. When can I go to meet with God?

God hears our prayers, He is the Living God who actively hears and sees us. he is always present even when we do not sense Him in our lives. Norm is walking with God, fully aware of who God is and how much God loves.

My tears have been my food, day and night, while men say to me, “Where is your God?”

It’s true, my tears fall down my cheeks, often unbidden, but there all the same. I’m never sure when they will overflow.

I don’t have anyone asking about God’s presence in my life. Indeed, I have a lot of encouragement from others of God’s faithfulness.

These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go with the multitudes, leading the procession to the house of God, with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng.

Songs of joy and festivity are not a part of my worship. Instead the worship songs bring tears to my eyes that pour down my cheeks.

Why are you downcast, o my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in god, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.

Ecclesiastes 3:4 says there is a time to weep and a time to mourn. I’m in a time of weeping that will not last forever. There will be a time when the memory brings a smile, not tears. There will be a time when the songs I sing to the Lord will be joyful, not full of sorrow. There will be a time when the pain of loss will be wrapped and sealed, occasionally breaking out with a new wave of pain, only to be resealed by love and good memories.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the 44 years I had with Norm, and I’m thankful that I miss him, it reveals he meant a lot to me.

I pray for grace as I take the time to grieve my loss.

I rejoice that Jesus Christ came to earth as a man, to die on the cross so that I can have hope in the resurrection which leads to eternal life.

Where’s the joy? My joy is in the Lord…even when the tears fall.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Where’s the Joy?

Posted on December 13, 2024 by tricialathrop

December 12

Day to day, one never knows how it will go. Our day started well, then as the afternoon progressed, Norm seemed to grow weaker. I don’t know if it’s knowing that tomorrow he returns for another round of chemo or if we did too much yesterday

Being the primary caregiver takes its toll. Every nuance of change triggers a rise in adrenalin…the uncertainty of it all. One step forward, two steps back. Sometimes a leap forward and then a regressing. It’s an emotional roller-coaster for both of us.

Yet, even with the set backs, he is so much better than he was seven weeks ago when we got the diagnosis. He’s up and about, eating…not a lot, but more than he was, and looking forward to the future.

Friends help. I had lunch with a friend who has walked this path. It’s encouraging to speak with someone who has a similar experience.

I am thankful that although there are set backs, the general progress is towards strength and healing.

I pray for strength of heart to continue and peace of mind through the challenges…for both of us, and anyone else who struggles with an issue out of their own control.

I rejoice that God promised to never leave us or forsake us.

The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. Deuteronomy 31:8

Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Where’s the joy? To be honest, not feeling it.

My friend and I talked about putting on a cheerful face when among people. She’s good at it, few see through to the pain. I tend to withdraw and become quiet. If I must be with people, I will talk about anything else because the tears are on the edge, ready to flow at any time.

Where’s the joy? It’s waiting on the other side of the tears and seen in the hope found in God’s promises.

Sing praise to the Lord, you His godly ones, and give thanks to His holy name. For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for a lifetime; Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:4-5

Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting. He who goes to and fro weeping, carrying his bag of seed, shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing his sheaves with him. Psalm 126:5-6

Then the virgin will rejoice in the dance, and the young men and the old, together. For I will turn their mourning into joy and will comfort them and give them joy for their sorrow. Jeremiah 31:13

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

Blog at WordPress.com.