Posts Tagged With: life

Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

Posted on August 15, 2025 by tricialathrop

August 15

Widowhood, it’s a lonely existence.

Sure I have family and friends around, but they have their own lives to live and those lives don’t revolve around me. I come home to an empty house where the silence can be deafening. No sound of Norm’s laughter. No one to share what happened during the day. I can see why people sometimes get married pretty quickly. When one is used to another body in the house for 45 years, it’s an adjustment.

I lived alone for a year before marrying Norm. Then I had a job, I had friends, we went out at night. I came home to peace and quiet where I could reboot. But after 45 years of day after day having someone around, it’s not easy going back to a single existence.

I remember when Norm retired and he was home 24-7-365…that was an adjustment. When someone else is in the house, I had to consider him in my plans, keep him posted, invite him along…but then he got his own things going. He would go for a day to take pictures, or he would go camping. And I enjoyed those days of freedom because they were short, and he would be back soon.

But now, he won’t be home in hours or days. This is an open ended solo existence and I’m trying to figure out how to do this.

At first there were a lot of things that needed to be done that took my time and energy. Friends and family stayed close and connected. But now the big things are done and friends and family have returned to their own lives…not to say they don’t check on me and spend time with me, they do…but it’s not as much as at first and that is as it should be.

I realize I’m not alone. I have friends and family who love me and care for me. I know that God is with me even in my deepest sorrow.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for my family and friends, this would be even more lonely without them.

I pray for grace to walk this walk with hope in my heart and an eye for others who may be lonely.

I rejoice in the faithfulness of God, who has provided for me in ways I never expected.

Where’s the joy? Every day God provides for my needs, spiritual, physical and emotional.

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Where’s the Joy?

Posted on March 4, 2025 by tricialathrop

March 3

Norm didn’t want me to leave when they did the new breathing trial. Today was the fourth attempt. The ones he had done earlier really spooked me. But, I stayed, holding his hand as he endured the fear and the pain of the reduced meds and oxygen. He did better, but they still could not get the tube out.

Palliative care spoke to me. The question, what if they can’t get the tube out? What if they get the tube out and he has to have the tube reinserted? Having the doctor ask me those questions with Norm in such a vulnerable state made his possible death more real. I was already questioning whether he would be able to survive this still unknown infection. The music therapist and chaplain came by, I had a very weepy day, I cried a lot.

The ventilator is used to keep someone alive while they discover what is wrong or while the medicines heal the body. They have pretty well done all they can for Norm, still unknown cause and they have used every antibiotic and anti fungal to attack any known agent. Each one seemed to work…a little, but not to knock out whatever this is. There is still some hope that the sample sent to Washington will come up with an answer…hopefully this week.

I need to talk to the kids about options. If they are able to get the tube out, then Norm will be able to tell the doctors whether he wants CPR and a reinsertion of the tube. If he is unable to make the decision, then it falls to me.

He’s swollen from this initial insertion, another would cause more issues. CPR may cause more damage in his weakened state. He’s been near death a few times in the past five months, and has rallied to the point that he seemed well on his way to recovery.

Will he rally this time? I don’t know what God will do. I live in a state of limbo, not knowing.

I’m sure Norm is there too. If he could speak, maybe he would say more. Fears and uncertainty cloud his future. He was awake all day today, and had time to consider it. I sat by his side, holding his hand, watching him struggle and thankful for meds that gave him some comfort.

He tried to communicate, I did understand some things. A matter of guessing and having him nod or shake his head. I’m usually decent at guessing charades…not so much acting it out…but not today.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for each person who has poured into Norm’s life during this hospital stay. They seem to really care, and don’t treat him as just a client.

I pray for God’s best for Norm, and strength to walk whatever comes our way with grace.

I rejoice that God is in control.

Let the glory of the Lord endure forever; Let the Lord be glad in His works; He looks at the earth and it trembles; He touches the mountains and they smoke.

I will sing to the Lord as long as I live; I will sing praise to my God while I have my being, Let my meditations be pleasing to Him; As for me, I shall be glad in the Lord.

Bless the Lord, oh my soul. Praise the Lord!

Psalm 104:31-35

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I AM the Way, the Truth and the Life

Posted on May 30, 2022 by tricialathrop

Day 42 of 49

The time had come. Within 24 hours, Jesus would be tried, condemned and hung on the cross to die. In his last precious moments with his disciples, his words contained the essence of all he wanted his disciples to remember. He understood that his leaving would cause sorrow, confusion, and fear.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.  Jn 10:10

In Christ, our life continues to grow and expand…Jesus came to give us abundant life. It’s not our possessions that make our life abundant, but the love, contentment and joy that we can have through Jesus Christ. 

“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. 

In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? 

And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.” 

Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?” 

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 

If you had known me, you would have known my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him.” 

Philip said to him, “Lord, show us the Father, and it is enough for us.” 

Jesus said to him, “Have I been with you so long, and you still do not know me, Philip? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? 

Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own authority, but the Father who dwells in me does his works. 

Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me, or else believe on account of the works themselves. 

“Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father. 

Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it. 

Jn 14:1–14.

The disciples were disturbed that Peter could deny Christ (Jn 13:38), I’m sure they considered themselves equally fallible. Jesus encouraged them and told them he was going to prepare a place and would come back for them.

The picture is one of a marriage. After a betrothal, the future husband returns to his father’s house and prepares a place for the bride. The son could not return for the bride until the father said the place was ready. 

Jesus spoke about his return to the Father, to prepare a place for them. Because he’s with the Father, they will be able to do even greater works than Jesus did. They could ask for anything in his name and his Father would provide it.

But they didn’t understand.

Thomas said: “We don’t know where you are going, how will we find the way?”

Jesus responded: “I AM the way, the truth and the life.” 

In the Greek, these words are placed in such a way to indicate that “the way” is the most important part of the name. The Way is first and foremost, all must come through Jesus Christ to arrive at the Father. Following Jesus Christ leads us to the truth about God’s plan. Knowing Jesus as the way, leads us to truth that leads us to life, eternity with the Father.

They still didn’t understand and Philip spoke up, “Show us the Father.”

We only have Jesus’ verbal reply. “Have I been with you so long, and you still do not know me?”  I wonder if he sighed…

It must have been hard to have a human Jesus who needed to eat, sleep and eliminate waste like everyone else…and think of him as God Almighty. I think they grasped that he was the Messiah, the chosen of God…but it was a stretch for the finite mind to equate him with God, even though he told them multiple times. 

Even today, it is difficult to fully comprehend the concept of the Trinity. 

Jesus came to earth to reveal the Father by being the image of the invisible God. He came as a tactical expression of the Father’s character; full of love, mercy and grace. God wants a return to the intimacy he had with Adam when they walked and talked in the garden together.

Jesus death and resurrection opened the way for all of us to come into God’s presence. Our sins are paid for with the blood of Jesus Christ on the cross. His resurrection broke the power that death has over our souls. Our physical bodies will die and decay, but we will live forever in fellowship with God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. 

When Jesus had spoken these words, he lifted up his eyes to heaven, and said, “Father, the hour has come; glorify your Son that the Son may glorify you, since you have given him authority over all flesh, to give eternal life to all whom you have given him. 

And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. 

I glorified you on earth, having accomplished the work that you gave me to do. 

And now, Father, glorify me in your own presence with the glory that I had with you before the world existed. 

“I have manifested your name to the people whom you gave me out of the world. Yours they were, and you gave them to me, and they have kept your word. 

Now they know that everything that you have given me is from you. For I have given them the words that you gave me, and they have received them and have come to know in truth that I came from you; and they have believed that you sent me. 

I am praying for them. I am not praying for the world but for those whom you have given me, for they are yours. All mine are yours, and yours are mine, and I am glorified in them. 

And I am no longer in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, keep them in your name, which you have given me, that they may be one, even as we are one. 

While I was with them, I kept them in your name, which you have given me. I have guarded them, and not one of them has been lost except the son of destruction, that the Scripture might be fulfilled. 

But now I am coming to you, and these things I speak in the world, that they may have my joy fulfilled in themselves. 

I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. 

Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. 

As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. 

And for their sake I consecrate myself, that they also may be sanctified in truth. 

“I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 

The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me. 

Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world. 

O righteous Father, even though the world does not know you, I know you, and these know that you have sent me. I made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them.” 

Jn 17:1–26.

Because Jesus said “I AM the Way, the Truth and the Life”

  • I have_________________
  • I can_______________
  • I will________________
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I AM the Resurrection and the Life

Posted on May 29, 2022 by tricialathrop

Day 41 of 49

Death, the final frontier.  Jesus existed from the beginning as God, a member of the Trinity, always living. He never experienced separation from God or death. He knew what it was, he knew the effects on a human…but he had never experienced either himself.

Jesus faced the death of his physical body. Did he know about the separation from God? It sounds as if he is surprised by it on the cross, “My God, why have you forsaken me?”, while experiencing separation from God for the very first time.

Did he face his coming death with trepidation? In the garden he prays, “If possible, let this cup be taken from me.” 

Jesus made a statement to the people around him, “God gave me the authority to lay down my life and the authority to take it up again.” This statement of faith showed that he trusted God completely, that by dying, something he had never experienced, he would be able to rise again.

When he spoke in the garden, “Nevertheless, not my will, but yours be done,” he gave a statement of conviction. He chose to walk in obedience, fully dependent upon God to keep his word. 

Life exists in organisms who are capable of performing functions such as reproduction, ingesting nutrients, expelling waste. Death occurs when those functions cease. Life must exist for death to take place.

Resurrection, coming back to life, can only occur after a death.

When we use the term resurrection, which literally means to rise up, it almost always means to be raised up from the dead. Spiritually, we use it to refer to ourselves after accepting Christ, we are now dead to sin and risen in Christ.

On Day 11, I spoke of the miracle of raising Lazarus from the dead. Today I will focus on Martha’s discussion with Jesus. 

So when Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went and met him, but Mary remained seated in the house. 

Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you.” 

Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” 

Martha said to him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.” 

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” 

She said to him, “Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world.” 

Jn 11:20–27.

When he tells her that her brother will rise again, she answers that she knows he will on the last day. It didn’t cross her mind that Jesus meant that day.  Jews believed resurrection could happen up to the third day. But four days meant that Lazarus was as dead as could be, no hope for a physical resurrection. 

The understanding of the resurrection in first century Judea considered it to be on the final judgement day, when Israel would rise to its former glory with the Messiah as the forever King. All the other nations would be judged and condemned for their treatment of the Jews.

Jesus continues: “I AM the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live. Everyone who believes in me will never die.” Then he asks her if she believes that.

Martha’s dilemma: “Everyone who believes in me will never die”…my brother believed and is dead. Belief vs sight, it’s not always crystal clear, our eyes are dimmed by our experiences.

So Martha gave a statement of faith. “Yes, Lord. I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God who was promised to come.” In her understanding, he was the one to bring about the resurrection in the final day. He was her only hope…”even now, the Father will do what you request.”

To follow Christ, we need to die to ourselves. Death came into the world, because Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil instead of the Tree of Life.

Christ was life from the beginning, he had no death within him. However, he came as a man, to die so that we could have a resurrected life, free from sin. Jesus embodied life, he did not have to die. He chose to die, and chose to take up his life again in resurrection.

  • Jesus being both-gives life initially and returns it when lost
  • Jesus had life within himself
  • Jesus able to give and receive the resurrection

Then Jesus, deeply moved again, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone lay against it. 

Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the sister of the dead man, said to him, “Lord, by this time there will be an odor, for he has been dead four days.” 

Jesus said to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?” 

So they took away the stone. And Jesus lifted up his eyes and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 

I knew that you always hear me, but I said this on account of the people standing around, that they may believe that you sent me.” 

When he had said these things, he cried out with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out.” 

The man who had died came out, his hands and feet bound with linen strips, and his face wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.”

Jn 11:38–44.

Jesus told the people to roll the stone away. Can you imagine the shock on every face? They all knew four days dead meant he would stink. Martha spoke up, and he reminded her of his words, “Did I not tell you, if you believed, you would see the glory of God.” 

What went through her mind at that time? Was her heart stirred with a belief that passes all understanding? Did hope arise in her? She gave the word to remove the stone. This is not stated, but it is understood that no one would have moved the stone without her permission. 

”Lazarus, come out.” Jesus had to call him by name, if he had just said “Come out,” it is very possible that all the past relatives would have come out with Lazarus. Jesus told the people to unbind him, so that he could walk freely. 

It is interesting to read the resurrection narrative in light of Jesus as the Resurrection and the Life. In these narratives, we find the living example of a life laid down and taken up again. Because Jesus Christ lives, we have eternal hope.

  • Matthew 27:32-28:10
    • Tombs were opened-saints who had fallen asleep appeared in the city
      • Saints, those that lived for God
      • Imagine being in Jerusalem and seeing your dead relatives
    • You seek Jesus who was crucified: not here, risen as he said
    • Tell my brothers to go to Galilee, there they will see me
  • Luke 23:26-24:12
    • Jesus continued to do the work of God, even on the cross
    • Thief: Today you will be with me in paradise
    • “Save yourself”
    • Why seek the living among the dead?
    • Disciples didn’t believe the women
  • Mark 15:33-16:8
    • You seek Jesus who was crucified. He is risen
  • John 19:1-20:18
    • Pilate no authority unless given by God
    • Made sure his mother was cared for

The resurrection is key to the Gospel message, without it, we have no hope of a future. It is mentioned quite often in the letters written to encourage Christians.

  • Acts 24:14-16
    • There will be a resurrection of the just and unjust.
    • Keep a clear conscience before the Lord
    • Christianity first called “The Way”
  • Romans 6:5-11
    • We will be united with Christ in resurrection
    • Old self crucified so we no longer enslaved to sin
    • Die with Christ, live with Christ
    • Death has no more dominion over the one who died
    • When we are dead to sin, we are alive to God in Christ Jesus
    • Christ’s death, once for the sin of all
    • Christ lives his life for God
  • 1 Corinthians 15:42-49
    • Resurrection of dead
      • Sown perishable-raised imperishable
      • Sown dishonor-raised in glory
      • Sown in weakness-raised in power
      • Sown in natural body-raised a spiritual body
    • Adam became a living being, Christ became a life-giving spirit
    • We are the image of the man of dust, we will bear the image of the man of heaven
  • Philippians 3:7-11
    • Knowing Christ
      • More valuable than anything I own
      • More valuable than anything I am
      • More valuable than my own righteousness
    • By faith
      • Know him
      • Know the power of his resurrection
      • Know the fellowship of his suffering
    • Become like him in death
      • So that I may attain the resurrection from the dead
  • 1 Peter 1:3-6
    • Resurrection of Christ provides a living hope
    • It causes us to be born again
    • We have an inheritance
      • Imperishable
      • Undefiled
      • Unfading
      • Kept in heave
      • Ready to be revealed in the last time

As I consider Jesus as the Resurrection and the Life. He is the essence of life. In him flows the blood of the ages, an eternal existence that brings glory to God.

He brings life back to the world, what Adam sold for a piece of fruit, Jesus restored by his death and resurrection.

We are resurrected to live a new life, not bogged down in the bondage of sin, but free to live as God desires, dying to our own desires.

But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. 

  Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ 

and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— 

that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. 

Php 3:7–11.

Because Jesus said “I AM the Resurrection and the Life”

  • I have_________________
  • I can_______________
  • I will________________
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Transitions

Posted on June 26, 2014 by tricialathrop

We put our house on the market this week. 

I stand at the door, unsure of what waits on the other side. I didn’t think this door world come so soon. Opening a door is not new to me; transitions are a part of life but this one feels different.  

My first major transition came when I left the comfort of my Mom and went to kindergarten. Mom says that I came up with many reasons not to go, but off to school I went. There were good and bad days, but each year presented me with opportunities to learn and grow. 

I remember the excitement of going to college and then the apprehension when I waved goodbye to my parents and walked back to my dorm room. Surrounded by new faces and map in hand, I began the adjustment  to life away from home. Four years later I said goodbye to the comfort of college classes, friends and my parents bank account.

Could I make it on my own without my parents help? A new job, making my way through the maze of finances, time management, relationships…then the marriage to my best friend, a lifelong companion with whom to explore and enjoy the mysteries of life. 

Each transition came with challenges and opportunities. Doors opened and closed, always with the sense of anticipation, excitement for the possibilities and angst for the challenges. But each transition eventually became comfortable.

Three children came along. The options now included their development and experiences. They walked through their own doors leaving me with an empty nest. No longer responsible for their care, I began to put more into writing.  

Once again, I arrived at a place of comfort. Now, Norm’s retirement brought us to this new door. All the other doors of transition led to opportunities, explorations, new experiences, learning and growth.  Just because we are older doesn’t mean this one will be any different. We can stand on these truths.

  1. “This I recall to mind, therefore I have hope. It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.” Lam. 3:21-23. Everyday I can rely on the Lord, who does not change, to be faithful no matter what comes my way.
  2. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11. This promise has no age or stage of life limits. 
  3. “He who observes the wind will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap. In the morning sow your see, and at evening withhold not your hand, for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether both alike will be good.” Ecc. 11:4,6.  My responsibility, step out in faith and don’t worry about the outcome.

 

I stand at the door of transition, unsure of what lies on the other side, but confident in the Lord God, who does not change.

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