Posts Tagged With: God is faithful

Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

November 13

Walking this path has its challenges. Some days are easier than others, I get up and out, meet with friends, accomplish things. And then other days, I get up and spend it alone, sometimes getting things done, sometimes I finish the day having nothing to show for it.

I thought I had come out of the fog, but it’s still around me. I struggle to focus on anything. I do what must be done…and some things become less essential as the day progresses.

I miss Norm. There’s a hole in my life. He was my biggest cheerleader and encourager in the ventures I took on. I didn’t realize how much I relied on his ever present support. I miss his wise suggestions. I miss having someone who listened to my ideas and asked the right questions. I miss making plans for our next adventure. I miss watching him play with Sierra and Sawyer.

Even though it’s still hard to reach out in the pain, I know that God has provided friends and family to come alongside and encourage and support me.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the almost 45 years I had with Norm, the memories are good.

I pray for guidance in this walk, that I will be able to reach out not only for help, but also to be an encouragement to others.

I rejoice in the God of my salvation who loves me no matter what and will be with me every step of the way.

Where’s the joy? Tough thought today, yesterday in our Bible study we discussed the need to respond, not react. We can’t change our situation, but we can change our attitude.

This is the Psalm I read this morning, it helped to adjust my attitude.

Bless the Lord, o my soul, And all that is within me, bless His holy name.

Bless the Lord, o my soul, and forget none of His benefits; Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases; Who redeems your life from the pit, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion; Who satisfies your years with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle.

The Lord performs righteous deed and judgements for all who are oppressed.

He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the sons of Israel.

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.

He will not always strive with us, nor will He keep His anger forever.

He has not dealt with us according to our sin, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.

Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him. For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.

As for man, his days are like grass; as a flower of the field, so he flourishes. When the wind has passed over it, it is no more, and its place acknowledges it no longer.

But the lovingkindness of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children’s children, to those who keep His covenant and remember His precepts to do them.

The Lord has established His throne in the heavens, and His sovereignty rules over all.

Bless the Lord, you His angels, mighty in strength, who perform His word, obeying the voice of His word!

Bless the Lord, all you His hosts, you who serve Him, doing His will.

Bless the Lord, all you works of His, in all places of His dominion;

Bless the Lord, O my soul!

Psalm 103

I can choose every day to praise the Lord regardless of how I feel or what comes my way.

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

J

THE UNBIDDEN TEAR

The song, the photo, the kind look

It’s the small things,

And my heart is squeezed by a vise

And the tear falls.

The holidays, the anniversary, the birthday

I’m steeled to make it through the day

But a memory rips through my heart like an eagle’s talon

And the tear falls

Hearing a joke I want to share

Turning to him, but he isn’t there

A dark cloud of loneliness seeps into my heart

And the tear falls.

Sorting through his things

What to keep? What to give away?

Each memory pierces through the wall I’ve built

And the tear falls.

The memories are good. 

Friends and family stand near

The love of the Lord envelops me in a warm hug

And still, the tear falls.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for all the memories of Norm, even though right now they evoke tears, they are good memories.

I pray for my friends who have cancer or are walking through cancer with a loved one. Carol and Mark, Carl and Paula, Don and Darlene, Mark and Kym, Donna and Dan

I rejoice that God’s love remains, at times it takes everything within us to stand in that love…and He remains faithful to us through it all.

Where’s the joy? My great-nephews and I have a mini golf challenge going for the summer. They get me out of the house for a day of fun.

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. 

He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. 

On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. 

Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah 

Ps 62:5–8.

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Where’s the Joy? A Widow’s Walk

June 8

It’s the little things that get ya.

I dreamed about Norm last night. We were enjoying talking while sitting under a lilac tree and then I was in an office having to tell them my emergency contact…not Norm…rude awakening.

All day it was the little things: Walking in the shower and not having to change the shower head. Going to the living room and not seeing Norm sitting at the computer. The conversations, the holding hands, sharing the mundane things of life…

It seems I’m moving forward and a little thing will reach out and slam me to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably.

I don’t like being a widow. It’s painful. It’s messy. It’s unpredictable.

Norm’s college friends are planting a tree in memory of Norm. Next weekend the kids and I will be spreading Norm’s ashes along the Blue Ridge Parkway…one of his favorite photo places. More tears expected.

Where’s the joy?

I am thankful for the memories. I’ve probably put that down a lot of times, but memories are important, they remind me of the good times we had, even on days when we did nothing special.

I pray for the upcoming week of celebrating Norm, not really sure how or what to pray, but the Lord is faithful and He will give us what we need.

I rejoice that God is faithful to answer prayers, even those we don’t know we need. He arranged it so I can be at the planting of the tree.

Where’s the joy? I can rest in the fact that God is taking care of the details and providing joyful moments even in the sorrow.

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! 

Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing! 

Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. 

Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! 

For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations. 

Psalm 100:1–5.

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