August 15
Widowhood, it’s a lonely existence.
Sure I have family and friends around, but they have their own lives to live and those lives don’t revolve around me. I come home to an empty house where the silence can be deafening. No sound of Norm’s laughter. No one to share what happened during the day. I can see why people sometimes get married pretty quickly. When one is used to another body in the house for 45 years, it’s an adjustment.
I lived alone for a year before marrying Norm. Then I had a job, I had friends, we went out at night. I came home to peace and quiet where I could reboot. But after 45 years of day after day having someone around, it’s not easy going back to a single existence.
I remember when Norm retired and he was home 24-7-365…that was an adjustment. When someone else is in the house, I had to consider him in my plans, keep him posted, invite him along…but then he got his own things going. He would go for a day to take pictures, or he would go camping. And I enjoyed those days of freedom because they were short, and he would be back soon.
But now, he won’t be home in hours or days. This is an open ended solo existence and I’m trying to figure out how to do this.
At first there were a lot of things that needed to be done that took my time and energy. Friends and family stayed close and connected. But now the big things are done and friends and family have returned to their own lives…not to say they don’t check on me and spend time with me, they do…but it’s not as much as at first and that is as it should be.
I realize I’m not alone. I have friends and family who love me and care for me. I know that God is with me even in my deepest sorrow.
Where’s the joy?
I am thankful for my family and friends, this would be even more lonely without them.
I pray for grace to walk this walk with hope in my heart and an eye for others who may be lonely.
I rejoice in the faithfulness of God, who has provided for me in ways I never expected.
Where’s the joy? Every day God provides for my needs, spiritual, physical and emotional.
TRICIA LATHROP 
Janice and I just got home from our first tour bus trip with some friends we met at church.
I found it interesting how many widows were traveling with us, including 4 of our 10 church members that went along. The range of time was 1 to many years since they lost their husbands.
I’m telling you this only because I found that every single widow I talked with, ate with, played cards with, and walked with were having a great time. They were joyful, funny, and a pleasure to travel with.
I’m sure the roads they traveled (no pun intended) were quite varied as to how long it took to be able to reach this level of comfort to travel and to take the step to socialize on their own but I found myself so happy for them that though they miss their spouses immensely, they have forged different ways to find joy in their current lives.
I hope my observations can in some way be an encouragement to help you look ahead to when you will reach that level of comfort. A time when though the loss will always be there you can find that new way to find joy in life after Norm. I’m thinking you shouldn’t attempt to rush the process as it is different for everyone and must come naturally just as any sustainable healthy growth does. But, it is something that I hope you can look forward to.
Prayers continue,
Bruce
Bruce, I really appreciate the love and concern that you and Janice have sent my way, it has blessed me. In this blog I’m trying to be honest with my emotions, hopefully so people can see that it is okay to mourn, and there is no time table as to when it stops. I too go out with friends, travel, smile, enjoy myself, share comments about Norm without the tears and hopefully am pleasant to be around. The other choice would be to sit at home, binge watch TV and cry…which I have also done. Thank you for the reminder that while the loss will never totally go away, it does get better. Thank you for your continuing prayers, I need them. Tricia