October 5
Last night I pulled the covers over my head and cried…praying that I could just wake up from this nightmare and have Norm still here, alive, laughing, sharing trip plans…but, it is what it is.
It is what it is…Norm’s least favorite tautology. He said it sounded fatalistic, like I had given up. But I see it as a phrase of acceptance. There are things we cannot change, and wallowing in self pity or anger doesn’t accomplish anything except misery. But acceptance allows me to trust God, who works all things for good, even when I don’t immediately see it.
I have had a great week visiting family and friends. I traveled to Ohio, played cards with my brother and talked about a trip to Norway. I had dinner with my high school friends, and breakfast with friends from Cincinnati, catching up on our lives and sharing memories. I traveled to Cleveland with my sisters and went to the Yankee Peddler Festival, which I first attended with Norm and his mom. That was my first introduction to a Hammered Dulcimer, which Norm bought for me. Then I drove on to Clifton Park NY, spending time with friends from our 20 years there. I totally enjoyed the trip.
On the way back, I drove to Waterrock Knob where we spread Norm’s ashes. I didn’t stay long, it was a bit rainy and a lot of people were there, all the picnic tables were occupied. The GPS took me back home along the Blue Ridge Parkway, it should be in full color in the next two weeks. It’s a beautiful drive. Norm and I had planned a Maine to Tennessee trip to try to catch the peak colors all along the way…I’d still like to do it.
Where’s the joy?
I am thankful that I am able to travel and have family and friends to visit.
I pray for continued wisdom as I make choices for my life going forward.
I rejoice in the love of God, who sent Jesus to demonstrate just how much God loves us.
Where’s the joy? God has blessed me with friends who span all the days of my life. They give me joy.
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.
And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:26-28
