January 12
It’s been a few weeks. Norm got a great report, the lesion on his brain is almost gone. We are still waiting on the results of the body chemo.
Even though we have great news, it is tough maintaining a positive attitude. I guess chemo builds up in one’s body as the treatments progress. Norm is definitely doing better, he no longer needs a wheelchair to get around…but he struggles with continual weakness. This week he got down on the floor to fix a lose wire, and could not get back up.
It becomes a mind game. The reports say he should feel better, and he does, but not as much as he thinks he should. As a caretaker, first time through this, it is also difficult to encourage when I think he should be doing better.
We are in the middle third of the marathon and it is difficult. It takes every bit of strength and resolve that one has…but it feels as if all the strength and resolve no longer exists, and every bit of reserve is drained.
Where’s the joy, when the road is hard and we cannot even conjure up a positive thought? It feels like a major bump in the road that knocks us down, bringing progress to a grinding halt.
I think we have to settle in faith, what do I believe? When our senses tell us it’s too hard to continue, what keeps us going?
Jesus never promised an easy life. But he did promise to never leave us or forsake us.
God created us to live in community, so that we have friends and family to walk alongside us in our struggles.
I am thankful that the chemo treatments are working.
I pray for strength to continue fighting through the buildup of the chemo in the body.
I rejoice that God has this all in His hand. I can trust Him to do what is best.
Where’s the joy? Trusting in the One who always has our best in mind.
Sometimes, our fight is an object lesson to encourage those around us. Our struggle for integrity as we walk the path, may encourage another to keep going. People around the US are seeing their prayers for Norm answered, many we don’t even know.
I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and he will hear me. In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refuses to be comforted. When I remember God, I moan; when I meditate, my spirit faints. Selah.
You hold my eyelids open; I am so troubled that I cannot speak. I consider the days of old, the years long ago. I said, “Let me remember my song in the night; let me meditate in my heart.”
Then my spirit made diligent search: Will the Lord spurn forever, and never again be favorable? Has his steadfast love forever ceased? Are his promises at an end for all time? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he in anger shut up his compassion? Selah.
Then I said, “I will appeal to this, to the years of the right hand of the Most High.” I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds.
Your way, O God, is holy. What god is great like our God? You are the God who works wonders; you have made known your might among the peoples. Psalm 77:1-14
TRICIA LATHROP 