Where’s the Joy?

December 28

Norm is the best he’s been, partially steroids, partially due to the dying cancer. I don’t want assume that this will continue, chemo pit is yet to come.

On these days, while Norm is in the hospital, my mind veges out a bit, taking a break from having to keep track of every little thing. I’m looking forward to the day when he is totally self-sufficient again, but that is still months away.

We are coming up on a new year. Usually, I’m considering a verse for the year. Sometimes it’s gratitude, sometimes it’s a spiritual challenge for behavior or habits.

I have been on survival mode for the last 4 months. But now, Norm might actually survive this cancer.

He’s concerned about who he will be once this is done. Near death experiences change people. I’m wondering the same thing about me, will the constant caretaking change me in some way?

What am I going to do in facing 2024? Do I go ahead and make goals for the year? Do I just make it a goal to live each day until Norm is through this? What scripture will help me get through this and then move forward?

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.”

Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.

Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.”

But as it is, you boast in your arrogance, all such boasting is evil. Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin. James 4:13-17

We really don’t know what tomorrow will bring. All I do know, is that cancer has shown me that planning ahead needs to be flexible. It doesn’t always work out the way we’d like. But whatever comes my way, God is there.

I am thankful that Norm’s chemo seems to be working and he will be whole again.

I pray for the faithful nurses, doctors, janitors, nutritionists and all others involved in helping my husband to recover.

I rejoice that God has tomorrow in His hand.

Where’s the joy? I am looking forward with hope.