plans | TRICIA LATHROP

December 29

Another first gone by. Three to go…New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day and the anniversary of Norm’s death.

My Christmas had the expected times of joy with my children and grandchildren, expected times of sorrow and missing Norm. What I did not expect? Moments of absolute emptiness. I felt like the Tin Man, seeing and hearing what happened around me, and yet no emotion attached. Weird.

I’m not sure what to make of that, just thought I’d share it.

I met another widow today, she’s in her second year. This is not for the faint-hearted. It’s not a road anyone would choose. And yet, so many are facing the holidays this year missing a loved one…a parent, a child, a friend, a husband, a wife, a partner, a pet…each one dealing with it the best they can. Remember to lift the ones you know in prayer.

In the olden days, widows wore black for a year, and had restrictions on what was acceptable to do during the year of grieving. We don’t do that anymore. There’s no set time table, no rules of socially acceptable activities, no end date…

Christmas was a blur this year. In three days it will be 2026. I’m starting to consider, now what? One time a mentor told me to “Consider your calling” as I was making a decision for my future.

What am I going to do? Where am I going to serve? What expectations do I have for myself? What expectations from others do I need to consider? What expectations do I need to lay aside?

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

Where’s the joy? We can be sorrowful and yet have joy at the same time, amazing how God’s grace surrounds us.

I am thankful for divine appointments, God brings people into our lives who encourage us where we are. Meeting Christa at the Subaru car place today, was one such connection.

I pray for all those who are missing someone special over this holiday, that God will give them grace to have joy in spite of the grief.

I rejoice in the faithfulness of the Lord, who lifts us up when we are down and gives us hope for the future.

Where’s the joy? Everyday, God is faithful. Everyday, God provides.

O Lord, who may abide in Your tent?
Who may dwell on Your holy hill?
He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness,
And speaks truth in his heart.
He does not slander with his tongue,
Nor does evil to his neighbor,
Nor takes up a reproach against his friend;
In whose eyes a reprobate is despised,
But who honors those who fear the Lord;
He swears to his own hurt and does not change;
He does not put out his money at interest,
Nor does he take a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things will never be shaken.

Psalm 15

June 28

Some advice: If your spouse dies before you, do not take their name off the bank account for about six months. When the checks come in their name, you can deposit them if the person’s name is still on the account. Fortunately, those who sent a check have been willing to reissue a check in my name.

I had a great week at Hilton Head. My room faced the ocean, I could walk in the waves in the morning and evening, refreshing and relaxing. My daughter came with my grandkids. We had fun at the pool and the beach. My son came for a couple of days. We went to Harbor Town and played some miniature golf, as well as walking the beach. I saw my other daughter on the way home. All good.

One morning as I walked, I saw a crowd of people. Hilton Head has a turtle trot every Wednesday over the summer. A large group stood ready to run the 5K. One of the boys took off like a shot, leading the group. He won, perhaps he led the whole way.

The young man who impressed me encouraged the other runners. I watched him speak to each one as he passed them, or if they passed him. “You’re doing great. Keep going. You can do this.”

That’s who I want to be. Not out front running on my own, but in the midst of the pack, sometimes ahead, sometimes behind, but always giving words of encouragement.

I realized, that takes intentionality. It doesn’t happen naturally. I get moody. My expectations aren’t met. Life happens and my focus changes.

As I walked, I pondered how to make it happen.

When I was a young mom, a couple, Wayne and Ginny Gasper, at our church wrote notes to people. Their note would always start off with, “You’ve won our prayer lottery for today. We prayed for you.” And then a note that encouraged me. An older woman, Betty Sisson, wrote notes to missionaries and those who helped at the church. Just a few minutes each day, and I can encourage at least one person a day.
When Norm got ill, I stepped aside from leading a Bible Study. I am so thankful for Vickie who stepped in to lead it while I took care of Norm. She did a great job and the group continued. They’re taking the summer off, so I’m going to catch up in my own study to where they are, and begin again in the fall. Meanwhile, we will meet a few times over the summer to connect and to pray.
I also stepped aside from singing in a local women’s chorus. There were more issues going on than Norm’s illness, and Norm told me not to return to that group. But, I enjoy singing at nursing homes and rehab centers, so will be joining a group that does that.
And lastly, I want to be intentional about my writing. This blog has been therapy for me, and I think it has been encouraging to others. I also write Bible studies and devotionals. I’m going to a writer’s conference in a few weeks. I want to get back to attending the local Word Weavers group.

Tonight, I feel good. I’ve had some good cries yesterday and today. I’m missing Norm’s humor, his insights, his support. I know more tough days lie ahead, but right now, I feel positive about what lies ahead.

I am thankful for God’s grace and for the gift of hope that He gives each day.

I pray for the persistence to be intentional in following Christ, encouraging others and living life to the fullest.

I rejoice in the Lord who saves. Without Him, there is no hope.

Where’s the joy? It is in the Lord God Almighty, maker of heaven and earth.

Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth.
Serve the Lord with gladness; Come before Him with joyful singing.
Know that the Lord Himself is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
Enter His gates with thanksgiving And His courts with praise.
Give thanks to Him, bless His name.
For the Lord is good; His lovingkindness is everlasting
And His faithfulness to all generations.

Psalm 100

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