March 22
Today was a weepy day. This morning I focused on regrets. Things I could have said and done, and didn’t. Norm and I were together over 44 years, and we began to take each other for granted. It happens.
One regret, I told Norm of my plan to write legacy letters to him and the kids to be opened when I die. The letters would tell special memories, what each one meant to me, what I hope for them and their lives, a prayer…things like that. Norm said I should write them and give them while I am still alive.
I could have written a letter to Norm that day, but I didn’t. Months went by, and I still didn’t. He used to comment that I was strong and independent, and didn’t really need him. I remember telling him at the time, that, yeah, if something happened to him, I’d be okay. But then, I told him that I didn’t want to be without him…and isn’t that better that I wanted to be with him, than that I needed to be with him?
Though I’m doing okay, I needed him more than I knew. I miss his wisdom, his questions that made me stop and think before I acted. I miss his humor, he could dissemble my fears or frustrations with a timely joke or comment. I miss his physical presence, just being in the same room was a comfort. I miss his support, he allowed me to be and do far more than I ever thought possible.
We have a reality that cannot be denied. At some point, we will all die. Our mortality will catch up with us. We don’t know when we will give or receive a last hug, speak our last “love you”, eat a last meal together, have a last fun day…and by the time we know it was the last, it’s too late to embrace the moment.
At this point, I can’t change what I did or didn’t say or do for Norm, but I can be more mindful to speak encouragement to my family and friends and to do things that will bless them.
If you are reading this, take the time to reach out to someone who has been on your mind. Give them a call, take them to lunch, write a letter…be an encouragement and a blessing.
I am thankful for the years I had with Norm. He made my life better in every way.
I pray for insight as to my words and actions for the people around me. I want to encourage and bless others when the opportunity arises. I want to minimize regrets for actions left undone or words left unspoken.
I rejoice in the Lord God who desires the best for all of us. He has placed people in our lives to encourage and to be an encouragement.
Where’s the joy? Norm and I loved each other. We had a great life together.
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. Hebrews 10:24-25
TRICIA LATHROP 